Pas de Deux
by JenniP
Summary: Bella has a gift for dancing to whatever music life throws her way. When she is accepted to the Academy of Dance in Chicago, she finds herself immersed in a world where nothing is quite what it seems...and the music begins to write itself. AH/AU E/B
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So here it is, world...my very first fic. I really don't know what else to say.

When you're done, I'll be the one hiding in the corner with my blankie over my head...

Disclamier: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a comfy pair of fake Uggs and my laptop.

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Chapter 1

An Invitation

As I stepped out of the cab, the wind of the city tore across me, threatening to rip my hair from the carefully arranged bun atop my head. At least it wasn't raining. I knew that Chicago was going to be different from my home in Forks, Washington; and for a moment, I considered hailing the next cab to the airport and taking the next plane home – wondering if I would be there in time to cook dinner for my father. But this is what I had dreamed of since I was a child. This was my new home. This was my destiny.

"Please," I whispered under my breath as I headed for the revolving glass door, "don't let me trip before the music starts."

For as long as I could remember, I had dreamed of being a dancer.

When I was three, my mother had taken me to the local community college to see a production of Swan Lake. I had sat for almost three hours, mesmerized by the dancers on the stage. I begged for Renee to let me take lessons at the school down the street from our home. She scoffed at the idea at first.

"Oh Bella, honey, you can't take ballet! You can barely walk across the kitchen without tripping over your own feet!"

But, my three-year-old persistence, coupled with Renee's immature idea that children know what's best for them, paid off. The month before I turned four years old, we walked hand in hand to Mimi's Dance Studio. I tripped four times on the way.

I surprised everyone, including myself, when I found that I was a natural at ballet. Miss Mimi told me that I had wonderful lines, and a natural grace – as long as the music was playing. As long as I had a beat to work with, my body seemed to just _know_ how to stay in an upright position. I loved the dance studio – mostly because it was the only place in the world that I felt I was good at something. I loved my teacher, Miss Mimi, because she was so calm, so reassuring, and so…constant.

My own Mom was flighty at best - always looking for the next great adventure, the next "big thing." She was a young soul in an old body and I was completely the opposite. I craved continuity in my days. I relished in routine. It was with that fact in mind that she sent me to live with my father, Charlie when I was in middle school. Charlie was a typical dad – a man's man who really couldn't relate to his little girl, although I knew he loved me with all his heart. At my request, he had already enrolled me in the local dance school in Forks when I arrived. For the next five years, outside of school and sleep, I practically lived at the studio.

I found peace like no other when I was at the barre, carefully practicing and perfecting my technique. Never changing, always constant – demi plie, grand plie, releve, battement tendu, rond de jambe – each exercise in a particular order. These were the minutes that turned into hours that had turned into the days of my life.

I walked toward the desk in the lobby, praying to the gods of mercy that I wouldn't fall flat on my face. The woman behind the counter looked up at me with kind eyes – I was sure she had seen a thousand others just like me in the last two weeks – and asked if I was here for orientation. I acknowledged that I was, and gave her my name. She told me to have a seat; she would call on my mentor to come greet me momentarily. I did as I was told, nervously fidgeting with the envelope I had clutched in my hand as if it were a rope I was hanging on to for dear life.

I didn't need to look down at it to know what it said. I had read the letter so many times since I received it that I had it memorized a month ago. I closed my eyes and envisioned the letterhead:

Academy of Dance

Official School of the Joffrey Ballet – Chicago

When I read those words back in August, my heart had done a grand jete' right out of my chest – my dream was coming true. After my best friend, and long time dance partner, Jake, had been accepted into Joffrey's pre-professional program the year before he had encouraged me to send in my audition tape. I immediately told him he was insane. After all, what world-renowned company would want klutzy little Bella Swan to train under them? Jake continued to push – and by push, I mean called every day begging - for me to send in an audition tape. Reluctantly, I took my recital DVD's to my friend Eric's house and had him compile everything onto one disc. I recorded my interview portion, stammering and blushing my way through the entire two minutes. I mailed the envelope and expected my rejection letter to arrive in four to six weeks. Instead, I had received a thick manila folder full of scholarship materials to sign and a list of required attire – I was in – and I had no idea how.

"Bella!" the familiar voice pulled me from my reminiscing.

I looked up to see Jake, smiling his signature billboard smile and looking thinner and more graceful than I had ever seen him.

"Jacob!" I squeaked, running to him.

He opened his arms and I quickly leapt into them, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

"It's so good to see you, Jake! I was just about to leave and help these nice people find the right Bella Swan. You know, the one who deserves all this."

"Bells, you've gotta stop that," he said as he put me down, his eyes becoming intense. "I know better than anyone that you deserve to be here. And besides, I can't dance my best without the best partner I've ever had."

"Oh, please. Would you stop? You'd make any girl look good. So, what's going on with you? I'm just waiting here for my mentor to come greet me. Do you have classes right now, or are you on a break?"

"Actually, I came down to greet my protégé," he grinned. "I hear she's a hot chick from Washington state. Have you seen her? Maybe I can wait here with you until she gets here."

"Are you serious?" I asked, "you're my mentor? They really do hate me!"

"Be fair, Bells. Come on, I'll show you around."

And with that, we were off to the elevators. I quickly caught Jake up on all the gossip from our home studio, letting him know that Jessica and Angela were teaching the younger kids while going to community college. I told him of Charlie and Billy's latest fishing adventure, and he laughed loudly at the thought of our fathers tipping over Charlie's small boat.

He began to tell me about how much he loved it here in Chicago. He went on about his friends in and out of the program, and how he loved the nightlife here. My eyes wandered to his lips as he spoke, and my mind quickly followed. It had been two years since Jake had kissed me with those lips. Two years since he told me that he loved me and that he knew we could be more than just partners in our dance lives. I had tried, I had given it all that I had, but I had never felt that…spark. There was a comfort level that I had with Jake that I didn't have with anyone else. I trusted him – he was my partner, I had to – more than anyone else I'd ever known. But, romantically, I didn't have any desire for him.

Maybe I was silly, and chances are I was a little crazy - but I wanted something _electric, _a relationship that felt like _magic_ – not something that felt forced or awkward.

"Earth to Bella! Hello? Where are you Swan?" Jake's voice pulled me from my fog.

"Huh? Oh! Right here. Sorry! I, um, I guess I got…uh, sidetracked."

" Huh. You're the only ballerina I know trips over everything – including her own thoughts."

His laugh rang bounced around the elevator and calmed me – I knew that I could do this. I knew Jake wouldn't let me fall.

"…And one, two, and three and four…Miss Swan! Chin up!" shouted Ms. Kate.

I snapped my head into proper posture and continued my barre work. At home, I could do this with my eyes closed, but Joffrey was a challenge in every aspect; even my warm-up was new. I focused solely on each pattern of my foot on the floor, taking great care to stretch the muscles that needed it the most.

I had stumbled over the door jamb on my way into class this morning, and much to my dismay I was the first student in the room. Ms. Kate was already at the piano, talking with Elezar, our accompanist, when she heard my fall. She turned her head and peered down her nose at me as I turned five shades of scarlet and scurried to the corner to remove my leg warmers. I didn't need any more mistakes today.

The class schedule was grueling. In a matter of a week I had already pushed my body beyond any limit it had ever known. My only reprieve came for an hour each day in partnering class, where, by some miracle, Jake had managed to secure his place as my partner. For sixty minutes we worked together, and I felt normal, lighter, and somewhat worthy of the honor of studying at the Academy.

At the end of the week, Jake invited me to hang out with him and few of his buddies at a club on Halsted Street. I had some theory homework to catch up on, so I had Jake write down the directions and told him I'd meet him there around ten.

I finished up my work and took my time in the shower, allowing the hot water to soothe my aching muscles – some of which I wasn't aware that I had until this week. I wrapped myself in my robe and walked through the kitchen to grab a water before I started getting ready. I noticed that my roommate had left a note on our dry-erase board before she left.

_Becca – the fruit in the freezer is MINE. Don't touch it. I think there's an apple in the fridge if you want it. You need to either go buy your own food or start giving me grocery money. – Victoria_

Great, it's been a week and my roommate still hadn't bothered to learn my name. I decided not to worry about it tonight – I was excited to see more of the city and have some time outside of class with Jake.

I dressed quickly in dark jeans and a black top. I threw my wallet and chap-stick in a small purse that I could carry across my body, and slipped my feet into my favorite red Converse.

Dancing was easy – walking was difficult – so heels were not in my style vocabulary. I giggled to myself as I remembered trying to wear them once in high school, and how I ended up in the emergency room with a sprained ankle as a result. I'd thrown them away before I left the hospital, and vowed not to make that mistake again. As far as shoes go, they don't get much flatter than Chuck Taylors – and that's why I owned six pairs.

Outside the loft building, I pulled out the slip of paper with Jake's directions on it. I was going to hail a cab and just hand off the paper to the driver, but decided that the walk would do me good. Besides, I hadn't been able to really _see_ the city since I arrived. I headed north and tried to take in as much of the scenery as I could while still focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. The sights, sounds, and smells of the city were all around me. I could hear the laughing voices of a couple behind me, and the high-pitched wait of a siren in the distance.

The wind rushed through my hair and tangled it in my face. I paused to uncover my eyes and I could hear the sound of a piano, somewhere high above me. At first I thought it was coming from the pub on the corner, but when I looked at the sign above the door, I doubted that The Wild Warthog would have a piano player on staff. The notes swirled through the air – it was a melody I'd never heard – and I looked up at the windows in the tower next to me, imagining who could be playing such beautiful music.

I began to sway as the music filled my mind. It was dripping with intensity as it grew louder, faster. I did a little pirouette, followed by a tiny assemble'. I wondered who on earth could be playing such a haunting piece, and I envisioned a crazed conductor – hair askew, eyes wild, pounding on the keys in an effort to release some demon he thought to be trapped inside his soul.

I realized just how silly I looked standing in the middle of the sidewalk - my mouth hung open, staring at nothing. I really needed to reign in my imagination. Was I seriously just standing on the street, dancing to music I wasn't sure if anyone else heard?

I quickly collected myself and continued my walk, trying to let the wind of the city clear my head. I was desperately in need of a night out with my best friend. Though we'd only been apart for less than a year, I felt like I hadn't had any quality time with him away from our fathers. I craved the silly talks, the inside jokes, and the heart-to-heart conversations that we used to have.

We were in this crazy city, attending this insane school with these ridiculous people – but we were going through it together. I hoped that tonight I could regain some sense of normalcy with Jake.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Chapter 2! Thanks to everyone already following…I'd love to give each of you your very own tutu. Or at least a giant hug. You make me smile! Updates will be quick this week… and could happen even faster with a little review action :)

Me happy = You reading = Me happy again = You reading….you see where this is going, right?

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, and no matter how many times I read it – I never will.

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Chapter 2

I could feel the bass pounding from the bar before I actually saw the sign. As I waited for the doorman to check my ID, I stood on my toes and looked for Jake. New Moon was a tiny, overcrowded dance club in the heart of Chicago's nightlife district. There were people everywhere, and I felt like the crowd would swallow me up before I found him.

Luckily, there was music playing, and my feet didn't have a problem maneuvering through the maze of people toward the center of the room. Sure enough, there he was – with five girls in various states of undress, although they were fully clothed – in the middle of the dance floor. I waved my arms above my head and he glided his way over to me, never missing a step. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me close to him, grinding our bodies together as the music began to slow.

"Hi there, gorgeous! I thought you were standing me up!" he yelled above the music.

"You should know better. Who are you friends? They look a little pissed that you left them."

"They can't be blamed, can they? Have you seen all this lately?" Jake said as he stepped back and ran his hands from his shoulders to his waist, showing off his physique like Vanna White showing off a new car.

"Sure, sure, smooth dog. What does a girl have to do to get a drink in here?"

Jake led me from the dance floor and over to the bar. He ordered us both a bottle of water.

"Not using your fake ID tonight, Jake?"

"No, Bells, this isn't Forks. There I only have to worry about someone other than your dad busting me. Here, if anyone from the Academy were to see me with it, we could both kiss our scholarships goodbye."

We tapped out bottles together and toasted to the old times, then sipped our drinks. The DJ was doing a great job of keep the crowd moving, and Jake and I danced and laughed until I felt like I was going to pass out. Jake introduced me to several of his new friends. They were all tall, dark, and handsome boys; but there was something strange about Sam, Seth, and Embry that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I told myself I was just tired and paranoid – a small town girl getting used to the big city.

When I looked at my watch and saw that it was already two in the morning, I panicked. I had a meeting with a member of the Joffrey Board at nine. I'd been told that it was informal - a breakfast date to discuss my initial reaction to the Academy and to answer any questions I had so far. I asked Jake if he wanted to share a cab back to the lofts, but he told me that Sam lived nearby and he wasn't quite ready to go yet. I thought it was weird that Jake wouldn't escort me home after midnight in a big city, but I told myself I was a big girl, that I could do it alone.

I hailed a cab just outside the bar. As I reached to shut the door, a tiny white hand grabbed the frame and I heard a musical soprano voice.

"Mind if I share this with you?"

I slid over, looking at the miniature person that climbed in next to me. She didn't look old enough to be out past ten, much less out clubbing. Her outfit was ridiculous. A green shimmering top with gold chains for straps barely covered the important parts of her chest. A cropped leather jacket helped somewhat, but it was obvious that the only thing it was keeping warm were here arms. She had on tight leather pants and heels that, if she were standing, had to make her at least five inches taller. Her hair was short and spiky and black as ink, and her skin was perfect – I bet she'd never had a blemish in her life.

"Thanks for sharing," she said, taking in my attire as she looked me up and down, "are you new in town?"

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"Definitely. You're a dancer, though, right? Joffrey?" she asked in return, smiling kindly at me.

"Uh, yeah…how'd you know that?"

"I'm a student there, too. I think we have character class together – Siobhan at ten a.m.?"

I was floored. I did not have any recollection of this tiny rock star in any of my classes.

"Yeah. Ten. She's pretty intense that early in the morning. I'm sorry, I really don't recognize you."

"It's ok, I try to look as different as I can when I come out. Can't be too careful, you know. There are a lot of vicious bitches in this program who'd love to suck the life out of your career. I'm Alice by the way."

"Bella," I replied, "I'm Bella."

"Oh!" squeaked Alice, as she banged on the plexi-glass window, "Stop! Stop! You almost passed my building!"

The driver slammed on the brakes, causing us to jerk forward. I looked out my window to see The Wild Warthog on the corner. I was thankful that I was almost home.

"You live here?" I asked. I was disappointed; I had hoped I'd have company all the way home. Alice seemed very nice, very genuine.

"Yeah, my brother and I share an apartment. It's out parent's way of letting us have our freedom while still keeping us under their thumb."

"Must be nice not living in those awful lofts," I said.

"Don't be fooled, Bella. What we have is great, but that doesn't mean we don't envy everyone else for being normal. See you in class!" She spun around and walked lithely to the golden-framed door.

That's when it hit me – Alice lived in the building with the music – the beautiful, haunting music that I had so childishly danced in the streets to earlier tonight. I made a mental note to ask her about it in class Monday; then leaned my head against the window, and tried to process my new surroundings as I neared home.

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As the curtain slowly rose and the orchestra lights appeared at my feet, I took a deep breath and cleared my head. The music started slowly, and so did I, lifting my arms one at a time, feeling strong hands at my waist. I lifted myself up en pointe and slowly extended my leg behind me as the music began to quicken in tempo. It was the same beautiful music from the street. Suddenly I was flying – soaring across the stage in the arms of my partner. As he gently dipped me toward the ground, I saw his face. It wasn't Jake. His eyes were wild and his hair was disheveled – he was the composer from my imagination – the man who played the music.

"Bella," he whispered as the drums in the orchestra became louder, overtaking the music.

"Bella… Bella!"

I woke with a start. I could hear the pounding on my door. I jumped out of bed, cracking my knee on the low footboard of my bed. Hopping to the door, I flung it open to see Jake, still in his clothes from last night, his arm raised to knock again.

"Bella! What are you doing? It's eight thirty! You've got a meeting in thirty minutes!"

How could I have overslept? I quickly jumped over to closet and grabbed my favorite wrap dress, throwing it over my head. I slipped my feet into ballet flats – the closest thing I had to dressy shoes and thanked heaven for the shower I had taken when I got home last night. Jake was sitting on the couch in the loft when I scurried from my room, toothbrush in mouth, and grabbed my purse off the counter in the kitchen.

"Bells, why didn't you set the alarm on your phone? Do you have any idea how important this morning is?"

"I did, Jake!" I snapped back, mouth full of toothpaste. I spit in the sink and rinsed out my mouth. "I don't know what happened." I looked at my phone, checking to see if maybe I had set the alarm for p.m. instead of a.m. I had set it correctly. I looked up to see my roommate walking out of her room, a look of false concern on her face.

"In a hurry, roomie?" Victoria purred.

"Yeah, I am. I have my meeting with a member of the Board this morning and my alarm didn't go off."

"Oh, it went off at seven this morning. It made the most awful noise, so I went in your room and turned it off. If I don't get my eight hours, I'm just no good all day."

"You did what?! " I yelled. "How dare you?"

"Oh please," Victoria snarled back, "it's not like I knew. Besides, boy wonder here saved your ass. No blood, no foul."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Jake. He shrugged at me as he stood up from the couch.

"Come on, Bella. I'll walk you down to your meeting."

We walked in amiable silence to the elevator then Jake asked if I knew which member of the Board I was meeting with. I pulled out my phone and checked the calendar. I had made a note of the woman's name in the appointment that I had set.

"Esme Cullen," I replied. "Do you know her?"

"Know her? Yeah, Bells, and you should, too. She's the head of the scholarship committee. She's mega-loaded. Not only is she from some serious cake, but her husband is a doctor. Her family founded the scholarship fund that allows you and me to attend the Academy. Damn, girl, how'd you score a meeting with her?"

"I don't know, Jake. Luck of the draw, I guess. How do I look?"

"Beautiful, as always. You might want to run a brush through your hair, though. It looks like you just woke up."

I pulled out the little collapsible brush that I carried in my bag and went to work on the unruly strands. By the time I got off the elevator, I had Jake's approval. We exited the loft building and headed north. I asked Jake about the rest of his night, and he said he left shortly after I did, but he had just gotten home himself before coming to see if I wanted him to walk with me to my appointment.

I was just about to tell him about my crazy dream when he stopped in front of a tall building with golden framed doors.

"Here you are, Bells. Good luck!" he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders in an awkward, sideways hug.

"Here?" I asked. This was getting too weird. What was it with this building? First the crazy music, then Alice, and now I was having a meeting here? Strange.

"Yes, here. Now go break a leg! Uh, well, not really. In fact, I retract that statement. Stay upright, Bella."

"Thanks Jake, I know what you meant," I replied. I headed toward the revolving door and made my way into the ornate lobby.

I took in the scenery around me – the marble floors glistened in the early morning sun, and the furniture throughout the lobby was plush and richly upholstered. Several modern art pieces hung from the walls, and the whole place smelled of lavender and honey.

I looked for the entrance to a café or restaurant, but didn't see one. Funny, I thought, this was supposed to be a breakfast meeting. I was starving, too. I hoped this was really the right place. I saw a woman walking toward me, her eyes kind and her smile welcoming. She didn't look very old, maybe not even Renee's age, but her face exuded warmth and wisdom. I turned around to see who she meeting, and heard her speak.

"Bella Swan? Is that you, dear?"

I was floored. Was this Esme Cullen? With a name like that, I had expected eighty, pudgy, and cranky. I turned back to look at her, and she was standing almost right beside me.

"Bella, I presume?"

"Yes, yes…I'm sorry. I'm Bella."

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella. I've heard so many wonderful things about you. I'm Esme Cullen, I'm the Executive Chair of the Board for Advancement, but I'd be delighted if you'd simply call me Esme. I still feel too young to be referred to as Mrs. Cullen."

"Certainly," I paused, blushing. Why was I blushing? "Esme. It's nice to meet you. This is a lovely…place."

"Oh yes, it is, isn't it? I love it here. I tried to get my husband to buy another apartment in this building after we built our home, but he said one would do. So, I have to make do with visiting every once in a while. Would you like to have a seat?" She gestured to an overstuffed chaise near the far wall.

"Sure," I replied. I walked over and sat down, still not certain as to what was happening around me.

"Now Bella," Esme said as she sat on the chaise opposite me, "tell me all about your first week here at the Academy. Have you found everything to your liking? Have you met anyone interesting? Do you like your teachers? Is our program challenging you the way you thought it would?"

Wow – I was trying to keep up.

"Yes, the accommodations are quite lovely," I answered her. "I have never lived with a roommate before, and that's taking some getting used to. But, if she can put up with me, then I suppose I can put up with her. This first week has been intense, but I love a challenge. I've never danced so much in my life – but it's exhilarating, and I've already learned so much." I paused to take a breath. As I collected myself, I caught a glimpse of a tall figure with mussed hair from the corner of my eye. I turned to look, but the person had already gone out the door.

"Well, it sounds like you are well on your way," Esme responded. "Listen, Bella, I in no way want to be rude, but my husband and I attended a charity ball for Mercy Hospital last night, and I am simply exhausted. Would you mind terribly if I take a rain check on our breakfast? I would love to talk to you more, but I simply can't give you my full attention this morning. Would you understand?"

"Of course, I really wasn't that hungry this morning anyway," I lied.

"Wonderful, dear," she said as she fished into her small designer purse and pulled out a business card holder. She removed a card and held it out for me to take.

"You call me if you need anything, Bella. I like to make sure that the dancers hand-picked by me are well taken care of, alright?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen," I answered.

"Esme," she corrected.

"Esme," I repeated.

"And Bella," she said, standing up and extending her arms. I stood up and she wrapped them around me in a firm embrace. "I know this is a lot for you, but have faith, dear. Your talent is unlike anything we've seen in a long time. We have many special things planned for you this season. Keep up the good work, and try not to stay out so late on Halstead Street. You never know what kind of trouble you can run into down there. "

With that, she let me go and turned to head out the door; while I stood, mouth agape, in the lobby. Did the Director of the Board just _hug_ me? And what did she mean by hand-picked? What special things did she have in mind? _And how did she know where I was last night?_

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A/N : Hmm…questions, questions. Come on, now…tell me what you like and what you don't. This little relationship will never work if you don't! Extra special thanks to ThatPanicGirlE for spiffing up my chappies….you rock my fake Uggs. Oh, and if you're not reading her story, Abandon, you should be. It's mocha-chocolate-chip in a very vanilla world.


	3. Chapter 3

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Ok - thank you for reading...I'm so excited that someone other than me and my PanicGirl have seen this story... so I'll shut up now and let you get to it...

Disclaimer: I bought a new scarf today, so I can add that to the list of things I own. Twilight is still not on that list. SM owns it and me.

Thanks again to ThatPanicGirlE, author of the ridonkulous Abandon, for reading this before anyone else does. If I lived on the beach...

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Chapter 3

It had been three weeks since my strange meeting with Esme, and I still hadn't heard from her. I wasn't really disappointed, though. To say that I was busy would be an understatement. Between my classes and rehearsals, theory work, and dodging whatever evil Victoria was spewing at me, I was having a hard time finding the time to breath. Add to that trying to balance my lifetime friendship with Jake and my new, but strangely strong, friendship with Alice – I was downright exhausted.

Today was Friday, and it had quickly become my favorite day of the week. Fridays meant no classes the next day, and a chance to get out and go somewhere besides the Laundromat or my loft.

I didn't realize that today I would have to work to get to my reward. I arrived for my technique intensive in a rush, with barely enough time to lace up my pointe shoes. I knew that my lambswool and tape for my toes was in the bag – it was _always_ in the bag. In fact, it was in a little zippered pouch that Grandma Swan had made for me when I got my first toe shoes. Sure, the embroidery that said "For my little Ballerina's Boo-Boos" was a little embarrassing, but it held so much sentimental value, I didn't care.

I dug into the bottom of the bag, desperately seeking the pouch. _What the hell?_ Granola bar, tampon, hair ties, lyrical shoes, ballet slippers, legwarmers…but no freaking pouch. Oh well, everyone else was already at the barre and Senora Carmen had just walked in – I had no choice. I tugged the shoes onto my feet and walked toward the barre. Ouch. This was already painful.

"Are you okay?" Alice whispered over her shoulder as we began our warm up.

"I will be for about two more minutes. I won't be for the rest of this class. I hope we're taking a cab somewhere tonight," I whispered back.

I struggled through the rest of the class. My toes were throbbing, the already short nails feeling like someone was pressing them down into the quick. Ten minutes before the class ended, dark reddish- brown spots began to seep through the pink satin, and I fought back the tears that threatened to roll down my face.

When Senora Carmen dismissed our class, I bolted through the door and ran as fast as I could down the hall. The pain was crippling, and I desperately needed to get out of sight. I tugged on the door to the janitor's closet to no avail – it was locked. I hobbled to the next door, and threw it open to find an empty rehearsal room. The pain in my feet was excruciating, and I buckled under the weight of it. Slamming the door behind me, I didn't bother to turn on the overhead light. I crumpled to floor, making a weird hiccup sound as I tried to blink away the tears that were rapidly falling. I untied the ribbons on my shoes and slipped them off my already swollen feet. Straining my eyes against the dim light coming from lamp on the piano, I gasped – I had seen my feet in bad shape before, but nothing like this. The blisters seemed to cover my toes, and it looked as if I had dipped half my foot in ketchup. It _hurt. _I sat there sobbing, not just for my feet, but for my stupidity,_ I always carry that damn pouch! _I cried for all the pressure that had been building up inside of me for the last five weeks. A strange sound shuddered out of my body, as my eyes closed.

"Are you almost finished? If you are, would you kindly find somewhere else to practice your method acting?" asked a deep voice, shocking me back into reality. I'd thought I was alone!

Well, if I didn't die of pain or infection from my bleeding blisters, I could certainly die of embarrassment.

"Sorry," I blubbered, "I…I didn't know. I didn't know there was anyone in here. The door was unlocked and the lights were out..."

"They weren't _all_ out," the voice retorted, "not that you were paying attention to anything besides yourself."

I scanned the room quickly, trying to find the source of this mocking, but intoxicating voice. My eyes had just fallen on the piano when he lifted his head and I saw, for the very first time, the face of an angel - an angel who was furious with me.

"There you are!" Alice's voice screeching was right behind me and sucked me back into reality. "Why did you run off like that, Bella? What the hell is wrong?" She looked up from my tear-streaked face toward the piano, where the angel was now standing. "Where did _you _come from?!" she shouted.

"Alice, dear, I think you know better than anyone where I came from. The same place you did, only four minutes faster."

"Shut up, smart ass, I mean what are you doing_ here_? And why aren't you helping Bella?!"

"Playing – that's what I was trying to do before she came barged in here, moaning like a cow. I thought perhaps a change of scenery would inspire me. I didn't know that this was the meeting hall of Drama Queens Anonymous."

"Shut up, prick," she retorted, "if you had one ounce of a soul, you would've looked at this poor girl and seen that her feet are ripped to shreds – hence, why she is sobbing uncontrollably. Not that you would have noticed anything but yourself, anyway. Now, if you'd like to make yourself useful, go get Jasper for me. He's waiting for me outside dance room four."

"What's he going to do? Spit tobacco juice on her foot?" The angel boy retorted. "Let me have a look."

"And just what are you going to do, boy wonder?" Alice asked, her eyes wide with anger. She obviously did not appreciate the stab this cherub-faced man had made about her southern beau. She never stopped talking about the way he said her name in his signature drawl, making it into three syllables instead of two.

"Go. Get. Jasper." She growled. "Jasper is accustomed to lifting and carrying things heavier than paper and pencil. He'll be able to get her to my car, so I can take her to the hospital. You on the other hand, would probably only hurt her worse."

"I really don't need the hospital, Al," I said. I hated hospitals. Being a born klutz, I had seen far too many emergency rooms for my liking.

"Go," Alice said through clenched teeth to the angel in the blue jeans that fit the way jeans were supposed to fit. At least when he was in the room, I was distracted from my pain.

"Bella, dear, we need to get you to the ED. You could have broken a toe. Why weren't you wearing your lambswool? Why didn't you ask me for some? I always carry extra."

"I keep tons of the stuff in my bag, Alice. I guess it fell out or something. I didn't want to give Senora Carmen any reason to be mad at me, so I just pulled my shoes on and dealt with it."

"Bella, what are you, some sort of masochist? You should know better! Seriously, when Jasper gets here, we are going straight to Mercy, and I mean it."

"Al…." I was interrupted by Jasper, walking into the room and wrapping one arm behind my back and the other under my knees.

"She's right, darlin', you really should know better. Let her take you to see her daddy. If you don't I'll never hear the end of it."

"Jasper," I replied, "you really don't have to carry me. I can walk just fine."

"Nonsense, baby girl," he grinned, "what fun would that be? Besides, it's fun carrying a real woman, after throwing around that forty pound midget for the last five weeks."

"Jazz!" Alice yelled, and smacked him on the rear. These two had only been an item for a few weeks, but they had such a playful, strong connection. It made me just a touch nauseas.

"Don't call me Jazz, Allie," Jasper playfully responded.

"You should hear her references to Fosse," I whispered in his ear. "She makes 'jazz hands' sound like a lewd and indecent act."

"You probably don't want to know, darlin'" he replied.

I somehow convinced Alice to take me home before we went to the hospital, if only to let me change out of my leotard and into something more appropriate. Since Alice was never one to turn down a wardrobe change, she agreed. Jasper offered to carry me to my door, but I declined. Instead, Alice told him to go park the car and meet us upstairs.

We stepped into my loft, and there, on the kitchen counter, was my little zippered bag from Grandma Swan. It was perched on top of a pile of mail, with a sticky note on one of the corners that read:

_Becca, This is so cute! I hope you don't mind, I took it out of your bag so I'd remember to ask you where you got it. But, you scooted out of here before I could ask you this morning. Oh well, I'm having company tonight so make yourself scarce. –Victoria_

"That bitch!" Alice yelled.

"I should have guessed," I said, shrugging my shoulders. I hobbled to my room and sat down on my bed, staring at my closet and willing something to jump out at me so I could wear it.

"Bella, she did this on purpose! What is her problem? Why does she hate you? Oh my God, is that a fake Chanel bag?!"

Thank heaven for Alice's short attention span.

Jasper knocked on the door a few minutes later, and Alice was back to her plan of taking me to the hospital.

"You're staying with me tonight," she announced. "No questions. No excuses. I bet the skank is having her little coven over tonight and trust me, Bella, you don't want to be here with them."

"Coven?" I asked.

"Yeah, Victoria's little sisterhood of sluts. The bloodsucking-bitch of the month club. Whatever you call them, as long as it isn't nice, is fine with me."

"Victoria has…friends?" I asked, in awe that anyone would be able to stand her.

"Oh, yes, dear. Or at least, that's what they pretend to be to her face. They're all just scared of her, so they play along. Keep your enemies close, and all that. But, Jane, Heidi, and Tanya are all cut from the same cloth. They wanted me in their little group so badly when I first started here, but I let them know quickly I wasn't interested."

"They wanted you? In their group?"

"Oh yeah," Alice answered as she began to throw clothes and tights and leotards into the bag she had pilfered from the bottom on my closet. "They thought they'd get away with anything if I was part of the gang. But I'm not interested in all that drama. I have enough of it in my own family. Besides, my mother would kill me if she thought I had been hanging around those tramps."

"Wow," I replied. I couldn't imagine Victoria having any desire to hang out with sweet little Alice. They were as different as night and day.

Alice finished packing my bag and grabbed my pillow from my bed as we walked out of the room. She grabbed my little bag of necessities from the kitchen counter as she muttered something unintelligible under her breath. I glanced at Jasper and he just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

As we approached the car, I remembered something that Jasper had said in the Joffrey building, about Alice taking me to see her father, and asked about it.

"Oh, Bella, I though you knew! My dad works at Mercy. He's the head of the emergency department. He's the best surgeon in Chicago. Plus, he used to specialize in orthopedics – so if you did break anything, he's your man."

I looked down at my feet, which were now starting to throb. On the upside, nothing had turned purple or black, so I wasn't too concerned about a break. But, I knew better than to deny Alice her chance to save the day, so I went along with it; not looking forward to explaining the insurance bills to Charlie.

Alice pulled her sleek sports car into the employee parking lot and pulled out a little hang tag to put on her rearview mirror. We lucked out; getting a spot that was mere feet from the ED street entrance. As we walked in, everyone there seemed to know Alice.

"Come here often?" I asked. "You're like a rock star here."

"Silly Bella, I am a rock star – no matter where I am!" she giggled, as she threw her head back and laughed.

We approached the nurse's station, and she had a short conversation with the woman behind the counter before instructing Jasper to pick me up and follow her. I was a little more than humiliated by this constant carrying, but Jasper didn't seem to mind, and it really did feel good to not have the weight on my feet. Soon we were deep in the maze of the ED, and Alice directed us into room number seven. Jasper sat me down lightly on the bed, the paper crackling beneath me as I scooted myself back.

"I wonder if Miss Bella's gonna have the same reaction to your daddy that everyone else does?" Jasper drawled in a pseudo-whisper.

"Of course she will – they all do. I'm over it. It's nice to know I come from good stock."

Just then, a tall figure made his way around the corner and into the room. He was tall, blonde, and simply beautiful. This was the second time today I had referred to a man as such, and I was beginning to wonder what was in the water here in Illinois.

"Alice," the blonde god asked in voice like satin, "who's this?"

"This is Bella, Dad. She's the new friend I was telling you and Mom about. You need to look at her feet. She forgot that they call pointe shoes 'pretty pink torture chambers' for a reason."

"I think I can do that," he said, turning to look me over. "Bella turn so your feet are up on the table, please."

I willingly obliged. He looked inspected my toes with a gentle touch as I looked him over. I was trying to read his coat. It had just dawned on me that I had never bothered to ask Alice her last name, and she had never volunteered it. She also hadn't properly introduced me to her father, and I didn't feel comfortable saying, 'Thanks Alice's dad!" for the care he was giving me.

Just then, he stood up, straightened his jacket and told me what I already knew.

"Well, Bella, the bad news is you won't be able to let Alice dress you those expensive high heels she loves so much this weekend. In fact, you shouldn't have shoes on your feet if possible. The good news is, I'm not concerned about any fractures, so we're not going to take the time to do an x-ray. Keep your feet up and use a topical antibiotic ointment to prevent infection. Otherwise, take it easy, okay?"

I nodded my head in agreement. I was going to speak, but I couldn't. I was going to make a witty comment about wearing high heels, but it wouldn't come to my lips. I was too busy staring at the embroidery on the doctor's white jacket to form words. In an instant a thousand images, a hundred coincidences, over the last few weeks swirled through my head and were explained by the name I saw above the breast pocket of the coat: Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

* * *

Looky! I answered a question! Now will you please answer mine from the first A/N? Leave me some love! More to come soon!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ok, my lovelies, one more chap after this and that's all I've got of the pre-written Edward and Bella goodness. That means that it's up to you to keep me going...these kids really want to get out of my head...

Special thanks to ThatPanicGirlE (Author of the eff-awesome Abandon) for lighting a little fire under me.

I own a toaster oven. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I fail to see where any of that is fair.

* * *

Chapter 4

I heard the music. Behind my closed eyes, I knew that I was dreaming, but I refused to open them and let it end. Sweeping chords and melodies ran over my body, stirring the air around me, willing me to move. It was breathtaking. The notes were simple, yet elegant – refined, yet raw. They made me want to smile, to cry, to sing. But most of all, they made me want to dance.

The rhapsody began to fade, slowing to a tortuous pace, and I knew my dream was ending. I knew I would have to open my eyes soon. I told myself to keep dreaming, but the music stopped despite my desires. I opened my eyes, and it was pitch dark.

The day that I was trying to sleep off had been a whirlwind of revelation. After reading the name Cullen on Alice's father's coat, I had asked her about her family. Before she told me anything, she made me promise to still be her friend. I told her she had nothing to worry about, that I was as loyal as they come.

She began to fill me in on her family, telling me that her father and mother were, in fact, Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Yes, the same Esme Cullen that I had met three weeks prior. Alice then told me that she had two brothers, one of which was her twin, Edward, and one who was a few years older, Emmett. Emmett was a physical education teacher one of the high schools here in town, and he was married to an ex-model -turned -photographer named Rosalie, from Rochester, New York.

She told me how she was accepted into the company at Joffrey when she was fresh out of college, but once she saw her audition sheets, she had refused the offer. She said that four of the five judges had commented on her poor technique and line, but had circled her last name before checking the "accept" box on the form. Realizing that she had been given the opportunity because of who she was and not what she could do, she turned them down and applied for the Academy.

I admired Alice for wanting to prove herself. Most of the girls who came from money back in Forks gladly took whatever perks came along with their family name. Alice then explained how her mother's family had formed the scholarship fund, and Esme had inherited the responsibility of heading the board from her parents. She had become very proactive in the process, selecting only dancers who had great talent, but could never afford the steep tuition and boarding costs.

I was flattered that Esme thought I had talent, but was worried that if she were to get to know me on a personal level, she might change her mind. After all, who wants a girl who can't walk across a stable surface without falling representing one of the most prestigious dance academies in the nation? When I told Alice this, she laughed at me, and told me how Esme always watched every single tape that was mailed in, and she gushed over the "sweet blushing girl" that she had found. When Alice and I shared a cab the night I had gone out with Jake, she knew who I was immediately, and loved the fact that I didn't know her.

We chatted into the night, and Alice kept me rolling in laughter, telling me about Victoria and how she fawned over Alice when she first started the Academy, and how she practically begged her to be her friend. She told me about Victoria's little tribe of followers, repeatedly saying that she'd like to "throw that little Jane through a wall" if she "didn't stop throwing daggers with her beady little eyes." The idea of Alice, so tiny, prim and sweet throwing anything – much less a girl, through a wall – was hilarious. She went on about Jake, how she'd had a crush on him when he first started, but quickly got over it because he was "obviously unavailable." I rolled my eyes and told her about the time two summers ago when he'd awkwardly kissed me. Then I told her how I had tried to be his girlfriend, but couldn't because he was more like a brother to me.

"Or more like a sister," Alice said flippantly. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I assumed that it was a reference to his dancing, so I changed the subject.

I was so tired when Alice finally left me in the spare bedroom, that I had no trouble falling quickly into a deep sleep. When I opened my eyes as my dream music stopped, I expected the sun to be pouring through the window – but it was dark. The only light was a sliver of yellow creeping between the bottom of the door and the plush carpet. I swung my legs to one side of the bed and threw back the covers. All the crying I had done earlier today had left my throat a bit sore, and I was thirsty. I padded across the room, my feet yelping in protest. I opened the bedroom door and looked down the hallway. The light in the living room was on, and I let my eyes adjust to the brightness. I limped down the hall, and just when I got to the corner, I heard the strangest sound - _plink_. It was a note being played on a piano. I froze. _Plink…plink, plink ,plink…_

Was I going insane? I'd admit that it had been a long day, but now I was hearing things. _Plink._ I peeked my head around the corner and saw messy bronze locks peeking out from behind the piano in the far corner. I tried to catch my breath, but I was suddenly quite dizzy. Falling down right now was not an option. Instead, I leaned my body against the cool plaster of the wall and focused on breathing, remembering my conversation with Alice from earlier.

"So you're a twin, Alice? That's so cool."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too, until my brother turned into some moody emo kid who loathed his own existence because of who our family is. I mean, seriously, he's just a prick. He never talks to me anymore, all he ever does is study and write, and Mom makes him live here with me because she thinks it's safer. He drives me apeshit, Bella!

I keep telling him he needs to get laid, but then he just recites off the past year's statistics from the CDC and says he will when he finds someone interesting enough to 'know in the biblical sense'. Who says that? Honestly Bella, he's more like my grandfather than my brother. He even carries Werther's in his pocket like an old man. That was him today at the Academy – Sir Douche-A lot in the rehearsal room. I'm really sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce you – not that I wanted to with the way he was acting."

At that point in the conversation, I wanted to jump up and down on the bed and squeal something like, "Oh Alice, your brother is so dreamy!" But I didn't – thank heaven – because I like Alice and she was the only friend besides Jake that I had here. So, I'd asked about her purse collection and moved the conversation to something light.

But now, here I was, twelve feet away from the angel in blue jeans that had berated me this afternoon, about to hyperventilate. What was it about this guy? Why couldn't I just walk past him to the kitchen, grab a bottle of water, and walk back to my room? Oh, that's right, because I'm Bella Swan - the dancing klutz, the girl who blushes at the slightest mention of the opposite sex. I stood myself up straight, determined to be mature about all this.

As I took my first step, the oddest thing happened – he began to play. It was a light, happy tune, but the sound of the music gave my feet something to synchronize themselves with, and I walked to the kitchen as fast as I could on my sore feet. He looked up at me, I saw it from the corner of my eye, but I could already feel my blush creeping up my neck and kept walking. When I reached the kitchen, I retrieved my water and turned to walk back to my room. Just as I passed the piano, he stopped playing. And I stopped walking. I tripped over the corner of the throw rug and landed face-first on the plush carpet, as my water bottle flew across the room. I pressed my face further into the carpet – I was as red as a beet now – and took a deep breath, longing to be between the sheets in the other room.

Why did I have to get up and get a drink? Why couldn't I have just gone to the bathroom and drank from the sink? Why was he standing next to me?

"Here, let me help you," he said. I looked up into his face, and he looked amused. His hair was the color of dirty pennies - brown with just a hint of copper. His face was flawless, from the line of his jaw to the curve of his mouth, which was now crooked into a half-grin. I reached for his hand, and felt a shock. _Stupid plush carpet and the static that comes with it_, I thought.

"Thanks," I muttered, looking back down at the floor.

"No problem," he said, his voice heavy and sweet, like honey.

"I'm sorry to laugh, but that was classic."

"Yeah, Chevy Chase has nothing on me," I replied. I felt the heat start to spread across my face again.

"I'm sorry; I didn't get a chance to introduce myself earlier. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"

"Yes," I said. That was my name, wasn't it?

"My sister informed me that I was rather rude. I apologize. I tend to be…cranky when I am composing."

"Composing?" I questioned.

"Yes," he replied. "I'm studying to be a composer. I've been playing for years, but I've never been fulfilled with playing other people's works. While mastering Beethoven and Chopin keeps me strong in my art, I'm never fully…satisfied." As he spoke, his eyes bore down on me with such intensity that I felt like he was looking through me.

"I, uh…wow," I managed to stammer.

_Great, Bella, way to impress the piano playing hottie_.

"You play at night – a lot?"

"Yes, I find it's when I can really let go and create. I've been trying to expand myself, though. Today, for example – I went to the Joffrey building, hoping a change of venue would inspire me – but I was interrupted by someone sobbing in my practice room." He looked down at me and I swear he winked. Oh my holy…he _winked._

"Yeah, sorry about that," was my lame reply. "So you…write your own music?" Duh.

"Yeah," he flashed his perfect crooked smile again. "I hope I didn't wake you. I'm not used to Alice having company."

I lied and told him that he didn't, my mind once again spinning from what was happening. He was my mystery musician. This perfect specimen of the male species was the one who had played that heart-wrenching melody that plagued my dreams. This was the man that had made me dance in the streets. This perfect, perfect man….

"I'm sorry, you must be exhausted," Edward said, breaking me from my train of thought. "I'll let you get back to bed. I'll try to be quieter."

"Um, yeah, thanks," was all I could manage to say.

Slowly and carefully, I made my way back to the spare bedroom. I closed the door behind me and felt like I had just left a part of myself down the hall. The rational part of me knew I needed the rest- that Alice would be waking me up too soon to make a plan for the day. The irrational part of me wanted to run into the next room, hop into his lap, and kiss him until my lips fell off.

Unfortuately, my rational side won.

I sank into the deep mattress and pulled the duvet over my shoulders, thinking of him in the next room. I took in a deep breath, disappointed that the air in this room did not hold his intoxicating scent of caramel, cologne, and man. As I closed my eyes, I heard the soft sounds of the piano begin from the other side of the walls. I snuggled deeper into the silky sheets and let him play me to sleep.

* * *

:Takes a deep breath:

Ok, they've officially met. Next chappie is just as fluffy, and just as short. Depending on how much you let me know how you like it (that's what she said)...this story could finally earn its M rating before chapter 8...I'm just sayin....

Click below and let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

Fluff...it's good for the soul.

ThatPanicGirlE is Team Jacob all the way...but I still worship the ground she walks on.

I own a half-dead houseplant. SM owns Twilight.

* * *

Chapter 5

Alice woke me up an hour earlier than I thought she would. She bounded into the guest room and shook me until I opened my eyes.

"Get up! Get up! Get up!" she yelled in a sing-song voice, which was twice as annoying as her usual soprano tone.

"Nooo! Go away, you evil fairy! Let me sleep!"

"But, Bellaaaaah!" she whined, as she pulled the covers off of me, "I don't ever get to have friends over, and I want to enjoy every second of it! Please? Please, please, please get up?"

"Alice, this is not normal. Can't you just wait? I promise I'll do whatever you want today if you'll just let me go back to sleep."

"What_ever_ I want? You really mean that?"

"Jesus, Alice, yes! Just go away! Isn't Nordstrom's having an online sale or something?"

"I don't think so, why? Did you see an ad for one? No, they can't be. It's the second weekend of the month. Nordstrom's only has online sales on the fourth weekend of the month. Oh! Second weekend… Victoria's Secret sale! Yay! Thanks, Bella. I'll be in my room when you get up!"

Thank you god, for Alice's short attention span and hopeless shopping addiction.

I rolled over and tried to snuggle back into the covers.

_Puppies. Hot chocolate. Daisies. Edward. No! Puppies. The beach. Edward on the beach…_

Damnit.

What was wrong with me? I'd talked to Alice's brother for all of two minutes the night before, and here I was, lying in the guest bedroom of Alice's apartment – _his apartment_ – letting the memory completely take over my mind.

_Oh well, might as well enjoy it._

I curled up into a little ball and closed my eyes, trying to recall every detail about the night before. I think I had just fallen back to sleep, when I heard the voices yelling from the other room...

***

"Well how long is she going to be here, then?" a deep voice demanded, "What do you want me to do, move in with mom and dad while you play slumber party?"

"Edward, you were so mean to her yesterday! Do you think she actually wants to be around you? Hell, do you think _anybody_ wants to be around you? I love you, brother, but you are nothing but a moody, pain-in-the-ass buzz kill. I just want to have some fun with my new friend – can't you make yourself scarce for the rest of the weekend?"

"First of all, _dear sister_, I have already apologized to your friend for my rude behavior. Secondly, my idea of a relaxing weekend does not involve heading out to the suburbs. I _need_ to write. You know I have the Young Composer's deadline coming up! Why can't the two of you just go to her apartment?"

"Because she lives with _Victoria Marks,_ and you know that me and that uber-beeyotch do _not_…wait – you already apologized? When?"

I hid my head under the pillow. Then I uncovered it and hid my head under the blankets. I couldn't hear well enough with the pillow. I heard his voice and struggled to focus back on his words.

"…last night. And that was that." He replied.

"And that was that?" Alice asked. "Edward, there is no, 'that was that' in your world. You didn't…?"

"No, Alice! What do you take me for? I apologized. That's all. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go get some coffee. I don't know when I'll be back, but I _will _be back. I'm not driving out to mom's today."

"Uh-huh," Alice said, her voice implying much more than she just understood what he was saying. "You go ahead and get your coffee, Mopeward. I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

"The bottom of what?" he asked out loud, the same moment I asked in my head.

"Whatever, big brother…I might be tiny, I might be flighty, and I might be easily distracted by designer accessories – but there is one thing I am not, and that's stupid. Now, _if you'll excuse me_," she said, mocking his tone as she repeated his words, "I'm going to talk to Bella."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" he asked.

"Nope," she said, popping the 'p' for emphasis.

"Well, then I hope you enjoy disappointment." And with that, he slammed the door to the apartment closed.

***

Alice lightly tapped on my door, which was pointless, really. Pointless, because when she swung the door open she did it with so much force that it bounced back off the doorstop and almost hit her in the face.

"Bella Leviticus Swan! Why was I not informed that you and my brother had a rendezvous in the living room last night?"

"Leviticus? What?"

"You heard me, missy. What did he say to you? Was he mean? So help me, Bella, if he was a douche again, I will rip the arms off his body and beat him in the face with them!"

"Alice! Calm down!" I knew I had to tell her that I had, in fact, met her archangel of a brother last night. I knew I had to tell her that he had been nothing short of an old-fashioned gentleman to me, and that he did nothing in any way to offend me. It was so innocent that it was almost embarrassing. I didn't have anything to hide.

And then I felt the heat – wrapping around from the back of my neck to the front, up past my ears …spreading across my cheeks – and I knew I was in trouble. _Damn traitor blushing._

I told Alice the entire story. I'd heard him playing _(and thought it was the sweetest dream I'd ever had)_ and gotten up to see what was going on _(only to find that my heart had dropped into my stomach which was now home to ten thousand butterflies)_. I had tripped, and he had helped me up _(and I got to touch him! I got to touch him!)_. We had exchanged pleasantries _(he has a voice like the softest silk)_, and then I had gone back to room to go to bed _(to fantasize about him until the sun came up)_.

Ok, so I didn't tell her _everything_, but she got the facts, at least.

Alice was relieved - she had been sure that he would have been rude to me. I reassured her that Edward acted on the contrary, and she flitted off to the kitchen.

I followed, noticing that my toes were much better today. I sat down in a barstool while she rummaged through the fridge, pulling out fruit, bagels and juice. She popped a couple of bagels into the toaster, poured us both a glass of OJ, and started talking a hundred miles a minute about what we could do this weekend. I knew she was talking about shopping, and as she rambled I realized that I hadn't talked to Jake since yesterday in our partnering class.

"Alice, hold that thought," I interrupted, "I've got to grab my phone and call Jake, okay?"

"Why? Do you think he'd want to go shopping with us?"

"Hmm, let me think for a sec. No. Jake hates shopping!"

"Bella, I bet Jake would _love_ to join us. Why don't you ask him?"

"Yeah, Alice, I'll do that," I replied sarcastically.

I found my purse hanging in the entryway and retrieved my cell from the bottom of it. I had three missed calls and a text from Jake, so I read the text before I called.

_So I guess ur not meeting us out 2nite. Headed to New Moon then Eclipse with Sam. Call me l8r._

I hit send on the phone and bobbed my head to Jake's ringback tone while I walked to the spare room to grab my toiletry bag.

"Hello," a deep and sleepy voice answered.

"This is your seven a.m. wake up call, Mr. Black," I whispered into the phone.

"Uh….hang on," replied the voice.

There was a shuffling sound, and then the phone was handed off to someone else. I immediately realized that it hadn't been Jake who answered the phone.

"Hello?"

Jake's voice came across the line, heavy with sleep-induced gravel.

"Jake? Who was that?"

"Oh...hey Bells. That was, uh, Sam. I crashed at his place last night. Late after party. What's up?"

"Nothing, really. Why's Sam answering your phone? You won't even let me do that…"

"Yeah, I guess he doesn't know how weird I am about it. Anyway – where were you last night?"

"Well, I stayed the night at Alice's. Victoria decided to sabotage my feet yesterday, and Alice took me to the ED to see her dad. Then Victoria was having company over, so I stayed over here."

"Oh – well that was nice of her. So why are you calling so early, Bells? You usually sleep pretty late on Saturdays."

"Yeah, I know, but that's pretty impossible with Al around. She's already jacked up like an eleven year old on Mountain Dew. She's already making plans to go shopping. That's why I called, she said she thought you'd like to tag along."

"Oh she did, did she?" he interrupted.

"Yeah, I told her you wouldn't so really I'm just calling to prove her wrong."

"Sure, sure," he answered, "Nah, Bells, as much as I'd love to go check out Helver's Spring 2010 line at Louis Vuitton – Sam and I are gonna hang out and shoot some hoops today."

"Okay Jake. Well, I'll be here all weekend – being force-fed fashion and culture, so feel free to call if you wanna rescue me for a while."

"Alright, yeah, Bells. Talk to you later."

I hung up and proudly marched into the kitchen, where Alice was busy eating an apple and flipping through a catalog at lightning speed.

"Jake's not interested," I announced smugly.

"Oh? What'd he say?" she inquired.

"He said as much as he'd like to spend the day with Louis and his Spring line – he'd rather play basketball with Sam."

"He mentioned Louis Vuitton? Seriously?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So?" Alice repeated, looking at me like I had a horn growing out of my head.

"That's what I said, Alice. Why are you acting like I'm missing something? Jake doesn't want to go shopping, just like I knew he wouldn't. Can we move on now?"

"Of course, my dear, innocent friend – why don't you go take a shower first? It only takes me about an hour to get ready. I figured we could start with the mall, and go from there. We might even head out to my mom's for a little while. I know she's been dying to have lunch with you."

"Lunch with your Mom? Alllllice," I whined.

"A promise is a promise, Bella!"

"That's true. I'm off to take a shower, then." I trudged toward the hallway as Alice called out behind me.

"Towels are in the closet in the bath!" she yelled. "And just throw on a robe when you're done! You're not going shopping with me in any of those horrible things you call clothes!"

We spent the next three hours getting ready. It was a nice distraction, because all I really wanted to do was lie back down, close my eyes, and think about Edward.

When Alice was finally satisfied with my hair, makeup and attire, we headed out. At the end of the hallway, we waited for the elevator to make its way up. Alice had asked me about Jake – specifically what had happened between us when we dated briefly. I told her how I never really felt any pull toward Jake – sure he was my dance partner and my best friend - but trying to look at him as a boyfriend just never worked for me. Then there was the day that he had accosted my lips.

"Imagine kissing _your_ brother," I said, emphasizing the point by making the second grade gesture of pretending to stick my finger down my throat.

Alice bent over double laughing.

_Oh, dear god no._

I had been so wrapped up in my story that I hadn't noticed the elevators doors as they slid open. I was oblivious to the fact that, inside that elevator, was sex in jeans.

His hair was a mess, those jeans were darker than yesterday's, and he was holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a box of doughnuts in the other. His face had the strangest expression. Anger? No. Amusement? No. Hurt? No, that couldn't be…

_Oh dear, sweet baby Jesus…no. He can't think…_

My face went from its normal pallor to cherry red in two seconds flat.

"I-I-I, uh, shit. I wasn't talking about you. Obviously. Why would I?"

_Shut up, Bella, _my inner voice pleaded.

He raised one eyebrow at me, and tilted his head.

"I was just telling Alice about kissing this guy that's like my brother. He's not my brother, though! I mean that – well that would be gross."

_Shut up NOW, Bella._

An adorable, crooked smile began to play around the edges of his mouth. I swear an angel got its wings at that very moment.

"Um, yeah, so, uh, we were just leaving," I managed to say. Alice was still bent over at the waist, about to hyperventilate from laughter.

He stepped off the elevator, never taking his eyes off me. As he walked past, his arm barely brushed mine, and I swear I felt the same shock of electricity that I did last night when he helped me up.

_Must be the dry air here._

"Have a nice time, ladies," he said, his voice more liquid than I remembered.

With that we stepped into the elevator and Alice pressed the button for the ground level.

"Easily distracted," Alice said, mostly to herself, "but definitely not stupid.

* * *

Love me....


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Once again, my gratitude to ThatPanicGirlE for telling me this is good, even when I think it's not. 187,000 flannel points to you.  
For all of those who have reviewed, I'm sending you all a pair of chuck t's and your very rug to trip over.

Disclaimer: I own a few textbooks that I should be reading instead of writing this, and SM owns Twilight. Maybe if she rewrote the textbooks I'd be a little more interested...

**Thanks to Caitie126 for correcting my boy-band confusion...I should be ashamed of myself. Tearin' Up My Heart is by NSYNC*, not BSB. Please don't be mad at me, Justin.

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Chapter 6

When my face finally faded back to its normal color, I pulled my eyes away from my shoes and met Alice's gaze.

She was smirking.

My mind ran through several different excuses for my behavior, but none of them seemed legitimate. The truth was, I had been mortified by my actions – and now I was sure that Edward thought I was a complete and total idiot. I was swinging between hating Alice for bringing up the subject of Jake and hating Edward for being on the elevator at the wrong time. Ultimately, I decided to just hate myself for acting like a pre-pubescent boy making gag faces at the mention of the word 'kissing,' and for not being able to control my body's responses to Edward's close proximity. If Alice and I were going to remain friends, I was going to have to work on that.

_Yeah, right._

Luckily, Alice spared me the shame and started talking about shopping as soon as we reached her little yellow car. We both got in and she fiddled with the radio a bit, finally turning it up when she found a station that was playing NSYNC*.

"Tearin' Up My Heart, Alice? Are you serious?"

"What?" she asked, looking surprised that I didn't approve, "You don't like it?"

"No, I don't. I mean, I did maybe ten years ago, when I was _nine_…"

"I know! Takes you back, doesn't it?"

"Alice, when I was nine, I was the geekiest girl in school – braces, glasses, gangly, uncoordinated – I'm sure you can see why I don't really want to be 'taken back' to that point in my life."

"Oh, sorry. Geez, Bell, you and Edward really would get along. I'm not sure why I never thought of it before, actually."

"What? Edward? What are you talking about, Alice? He's your brother!"

"Yeah, I know, and that's why I'm saying…I think you might be good for him, Bella. He's been so alone for so long. The fact that he was nice to you last night when no one was around to _make_ him act that way says something."

"And what does it say, Alice? That he has manners? That he felt bad that I fell flat on my face, so he helped me up?"

"Well, yes – but trust me, when it comes to Edward – that meant a great deal more than just having proper manners. Edward has never been nice to anyone Bella – not that he's had any reason to be, really. He hasn't even been nice to _me_. I'm really glad to see that he's taking a step in the right direction. More than that, I'm fascinated to see where this is going to go."

"Where this is going? What do you mean? W-w-what are you talking about?"

_Great, Bella, now you're stuttering – the blushing should begin in three…two…yep._

"I'm talking about you and my brother, little miss. What do you think of him – other than the obvious?"

"Ob-obvious?" I mumbled.

"Yes, the ob-obvious… other than thinking that he's totally gorgeous. He is, you know. He's my brother, but it's plain as day. Good genes, you know?"

"I'd say," I whispered under my breath.

"Exactly. So other than thinking he's super hot and finding the whole piano thing sexy – because girls find the piano thing sexy – what is it? What about my big brother makes you blush at the mention of his name?"

"I don't know, Alice! God, this is weird!"

"Spill it Bella. Spill and I'll tell you why he's so damn mad at the world."

She knew she had me. _Bitch._

"Probably because, other than what you just said, hismusicmovesmeinwaysnothingeverhas and whenIlookedintohiseyesIfeltlikehewaslookingbackatmysoul. That pretty much sums it up."

"Interesting…" she said, pulling into the mall parking lot. "Come on, let's go shop. I talk about this much better when my conscious mind is distracted with retail."

We found a spot close to the main entrance and walked in. This mall was far different than the small collection of shops near my home in Forks. Port Angles boasted a JCPenney as its biggest department store, with only a few smaller boutiques and a discount store to fill in the gaps. But this – this was too much.

"Where do we start? Oh yeah, Steve Madden. We have to get you a pair of boots."

"Me? Boots? What are you talking about?"

"Silly Bella, I'm making you over! We're starting from the ground up. Before the day is over, you're going to have an entirely new outlook on yourself."

"Alllllice," I whined. I almost stomped my feet. "I don't want a makeover! Plus, I can't afford any new clothes right now."

"Bella, I know that. This is my treat. Look at it as a hostess gift, you know, for you staying at my house all weekend."

"Alice, hostess gifts are traditionally given _to_ the hostess, not _by_ the hostess."

"Technicality," she said, dismissing me by waving her hand in the air.

We reached the Madden store and she began pulling samples from the displays like she was doing inventory. She handed six pairs to the incredulous sales girl and told her we needed them all in my size. How she knew my shoe size was beyond me, but I was learning quickly to just go with whatever Alice did and ask questions once the storm passed. The sales girl brought out the boxes and Alice directed me over to a chair, handing me a pair of nylon footies to put on.

"You try on, I'll talk," she instructed as she opened the first box and pulled out a pair of dark tan cowboy style boots.

"I guess I should start at the beginning, which makes for a long story," she said, "but you really can't start anywhere else."

I pulled on the boots and she motioned for me to stand up, then shook her head no and pointed at the next box. I pulled the next pair, soft calf-high black leather with a wedge heel and a rounded toe, out and began taking the other pair off.

"Edward and I are fraternal twins, which you already know. What you don't know is that when Edward was born, he was a very sick little kid. I took up all the room, and he was smaller than me for years. When we were about a year old, Edward got an ear infection. My dad gave him antibiotics and figured it would clear up in a week.

Dad left a couple of days later for a two-week conference in London, and our mom was at home with us. It was the middle of winter, and a huge blizzard came up. Mom wasn't concerned about being home alone with three kids, because she had more than enough food, three fireplaces, and a generator. Of course, my grandparents – mom's parents – would have normally been there, but they had planned a cruise that month in celebration of Grandfather Masen's retirement.

"So, there's mom – snowed in with Emmett, Edward, and me – thinking everything is just peachy. Sure, Edward was running a fever, but she figured that the antibiotics would take care of it eventually and she wasn't worried. We survived the storm and Dad came home from London without complication. When he got home, he was called to the hospital immediately due to all the traumas because of the weather, so he really didn't get to see us much. When he was home, we were sleeping.

"Edward's fever had broken by the time Dad came back, and as soon as he was able to get a spare moment, he checked my brother's ears to make sure the infection was gone -it's typical to re-evaluate ear infections after three weeks. Mom mentioned to Dad that, when Edward was awake, he'd been acting a little strange – not responding to her unless she got right in his face – but he was sleeping unbelievably well."

"So, what was wrong?" I asked, slipping my feet into the last pair of boots left to try.

"To make a long story short, Bella, he was deaf. The infection in his ears had abscessed – that's why the fever hadn't come down quickly. Mom didn't know any better, and she blamed herself. Dad wasn't around, and he blamed himself."

"Is he still? Deaf…I mean?"

"No. I'm getting there. You asked why Edward was so – unsocial. That's why Bella – when we were kids, he was teased mercilessly. Not only did he have a perfectly normal sister, he also had a big brother who was a sports star. Edward was never interested in that sort of thing. The kids were so mean to him from day one, that all he ever did besides go to school was sit in his room and read."

"Wow. That's so… I don't even know…but how can he hear now?"

"Well, my dad _is_ a doctor, Bella. With that comes quite a few perks, including being privy to some very sophisticated research. Edward had tons of surgeries when he was younger – my parents wanted nothing more than to fix what they felt like they had done to my brother. Then, when we were fifteen, my dad came in contact with a Chinese surgeon who was conducting stem cell research. He offered to try a procedure on Edward. Once dad proven that the risk was minimal – after all, Edward couldn't get any deafer than he already was – he agreed. Edward had the surgery, and it was miraculous – to say the least."

"Alice…I..I…"

"Yeah, Bella, that's how we all feel. It's simply amazing. And it pisses me off that he doesn't act a little nicer. He should be the happiest person on earth after all he's been through. How many people actually have a happy ending?"

I had no answer. I was speechless. Edward had been deaf – and somehow his father had figured out a way to fix that. I was not only in awe of Carlisle and all that he had done for his son, but jealous of the closeness that the Cullen family obviously shared.

"Alright, put the shoes you wore back on, I'm off to the register."

"Aren't you going to finish?"

"Finish what, Bella? That's it. Edward can hear, he's still mad, I'm still angry at him for being that way. End of story."

"But the music, Alice? Has he always…?"

"Oh, that…"her voice trailed off as she fished in her purse for her wallet. She handed the sales lady a shiny black credit card, and asked her to hold our purchases so we could continue to shop.

We left the Madden store and headed down to Victoria's Secret. Shoes were ok, but I wasn't going to let Alice buy me underwear. When I told her so, she informed me that any purchases made in this store were for her – she had a date with Jasper on Sunday.

"The music," she said as she flipped through a rack of lace negligees, "that started shortly after Edward's surgery. He just sat down at the piano one day and started picking out music on the keys. It was amazing – Mom cried, and Dad was floored. It was _his own_ composition. When Mom asked him about it, he just said that it was in his head. He would sit at the piano for hours every day; and that didn't do much for his social life. Other fifteen year-old boys were interested in three things: girls, cars, and girls. Edward didn't care a thing about any of it. He just wanted to play."

"That's amazing, Alice!"

"I suppose, but it sucked for me. All I had ever wanted was for Edward to be the brother that I had always wanted. We were twins – we were supposed to have some sort of amazing bond that no on e could come between. But that's what the music did. Emmett was away at college by the time we started our sophomore year. I wanted Edward to be a normal guy I could hang out with, who would introduce me to his friends and that my girlfriends would drool over. But he wasn't – no one liked him, and he didn't like anyone. The Edward you met in the music room at Joffrey is the Edward that I went to high school with. Self-centered. Rude. Antagonistic. A smart-ass. I've never seen him be nice to anyone, Bella. Every friend I ever had, he's managed to offend in some way."

"I'm so sorry, Alice," I replied. It's not that I didn't feel badly for her, but at the same time, I couldn't help but think that Alice was being a little self-centered herself.

"But, Alice," I continued, "I promise – Edward was nothing but nice to me last night."

"I believe you, sweetie," she said, heading to the counter with an arm full of lace and silk, "and I find that fact to be the most interesting thing I've heard in years. The question is, Miss Swan – what are you going to do about it?"

I was blushing again. As Alice paid for her purchases, I tried to think of a good answer for her question. The truth was, I didn't know what I was going to do about it. I didn't really think there was anything to do. I thought Alice's brother was God's special present to not only women, but the universe as a whole. I thought Edward had a gift like none that I had ever heard, and a story to go along with it that was as miraculous as it was heartbreaking. I wanted to know everything there was to know about him – how he felt, how he thought, how he had his eggs in the morning – I wanted to know it all.

Alice led me through a myriad of stores, spending more at the next than she did at the last. I had never seen such excess, and it was starting to make me dizzy.

In one of the boutique shops, Alice picked up a beautiful deep blue dress. It was a soft silk, short and cut into a wide v-neck, and I commented on it as she held it up.

"That's pretty. I love the color, Al, that'll look great on you."

"Yeah, it would…but it's going to look even better on you," she responded with a grin and a hint of devilishness in her eyes.

"No, Alice, you are not buying me this dress! The boots I can deal with…I needed those. The trench coat is the same story, as well as the hair products and the purse. But this dress? Where am I going to wear something like that?" I asked, pointing at the short silk frock.

"The question, dear Bella, is where _aren't _you going to wear it? You're getting the dress. Just say, 'thank you, Alice.'"

"Thank you, Alice," I said, trying to coat my words in sarcasm.

"See? That wasn't hard at all. Now, let's go find a few necklaces."

We walked over to the wall of accessories and Alice quickly found just the right ones to go with the dress. She also picked up a scarf, some bangle bracelets, and a pair of small earrings that complemented everything perfectly. We approached the counter and Alice handed over the infamous black card again. I was sure that it was going to melt if she used it much more today – it had to be overheated at this point.

We decided that we had both had enough shopping – not to mention my feet were beginning to protest my constant standing. Alice and I collected our bags from all the stores we had previously visited and headed to the car. I didn't see how all of the packages were going to fit – at least not if we planned on riding in the car with them.

When the final bag had been squashed into the hatch, we both slammed down the lid and walked around to our respective doors. I looked over the top of the car, and I was suddenly so thankful that I had met Alice. She might not understand how much it embarrassed me that I couldn't keep up with her when it came to spending money – and I would definitely have to get used to being spoiled – but I knew her intentions were honest and good. She was just trying to make me happy, the only way she knew how.

"Thank you, Alice," I said, climbing into the passenger seat. She looked at me and smiled, understanding that I was sincere this time.

"You're welcome. You really like what we got today? If you don't, we can take it all back. I know I can get carried away some times."

"Well, yeah, you can, but I really do appreciate it. I've never had anyone want to do things for me…I'll try to be better next time."

"Next time?" she squeaked, "Oh, really, Bella? Yay!"

"But not for a while," I tacked on. "I think you're going to have to show me how to wear that dress first."

"Don't you worry, my dear, I will do that and a whole lot more. Do you really like the dress? I think you're going to be a knockout in it."

"I really do, surprisingly. The color is just so beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so," she replied, a small smile playing its way across her face, "That's Edward's favorite color."

* * *

A/N: So now we know what Doucheward/Mopeward's problem is...wonder what Alice has up her (designer) sleeve?

Reviews are love, and love makes the world go 'round!


	7. Chapter 7

Psst...come here...I wanna tell you a secret....

I love comments/reviews! A lot. t's true! And they make me want to write. A lot. So, when you finish reading, hows about clicking on that little box and telling me what you like and what you don't...ok?

This just happens to be the longest chapter yet - Alice and Esme just wouldn't shut up.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer + Twilight = Loads of Money, Movies, and a chance to hang out with RPatz. Me + Twilight = a night at home with my electric blanket. Why? Because she owns it and I don't.

* * *

Chapter 7

Alice and I headed out to the suburbs. My eyes were wide with wonder as we pulled into the gated community that her parents lived in. The homes were the size of my old high school, and with their perfectly manicured lawns, they collectively looked more like a television set than an actual neighborhood. We drove through the winding streets, finally pulling onto a smaller drive and stopping at the end of the cul-de-sac. Alice pulled the emergency brake and hopped out of the car, skipping over to the brick mailbox and retrieving a thick stack of magazines and envelopes.

"Yay!" she squealed, "My Italian Vogue is here!"

I'm not sure, but I think I actually saw her pet the cover as her eyes glazed over.

She backed up, and then pulled into a hidden driveway just beyond the mailbox. We crept slowly up the drive. I was about to ask Alice if we were really going to her parents' house or if she was taking me deep into the woods to kill me when I saw the house. No, it wasn't a house – it was a mansion. The structure before me was unlike anything I had ever seen.

Standing three stories tall, it loomed over us. The white columns were covered in ivy, making it appear that the face of the house had somehow sprouted from the earth. The deep brick and stone were intimidating, but it was offset by shutters that were the same shade of green as the foliage all around us. I started counting the windows, but Alice interrupted me when I got to twelve – and that was just on one side of front door.

"Home sweet home," she said. "A little pretentious, isn't it?"

"It's…beautiful," was all I could muster.

"Yeah, Mom's really big into the whole Better Homes and Garden's thing. Dad loves all the space – he says he likes knowing that all of us fit into the house without being right under one another. I think he's just compensating for having to live in that apartment for so long."

We walked up to the front door and Esme threw it open, flinging her arms around Alice and smiling warmly at me.

"Hello, girls! It's so good of you to come over for lunch. Bella, it's so wonderful to see you. I hear that you had quite the week at the Academy. Something to do with that awful Marks girl?"

"Oh, it wasn't so bad. I think it was just…"

"Bella, don't you dare!" Alice interrupted. "Mom, that bitch is the reason Bella ended up in the ED with Dad. We've got to do something about that little twat."

"Alice Cullen! Watch your mouth, young lady! Bella, you can tell me all about it over lunch. Come in girls, I'm just putting the food on the table."

Lunch with the Cullen ladies was fascinating. Esme served a simple meal of chicken salad and fruit. Alice chatted with her mother about everything from the Academy to fashion to interior design. I had a hard time keeping up. When Esme asked me to go into more detail about Victoria, I was hesitant. I didn't want to seem like a snitch. After all, I was a big girl and I felt like I could take care of myself. I was used to getting picked on; it came with the territory of being a cop's daughter back home.

Alice, however, had a huge problem with the way Victoria treated me, and she had no qualms about vocalizing that fact to her mother. She told Esme everything – how my roommate had tried to sabatoge my first meeting with her, how she had told me to get out because she was having company over and, of course, every detail of the lambswool incident. Esme listened intently, then turned to me.

"Bella, is all of this true?"

"Well...yes," I replied, feeling my cheeks flush as I stared down at my plate.

"Bella, you don't have to be embarrassed about it. I am so sorry that you've had to go through all of that. You should be able to focus on your training without the stress of Miss Marks' immature behavior. Let me see what I can do about it."

"Oh, Esme, you don't have to do that! I'll take care of it."

"Now, Bella dear, you let me worry about this. I promise that Victoria will never know that you or I had anything to do with it."

I believed her. Although I didn't know Esme well at all, I could tell that she was the type of person who kept her word. If I had to choose a mother, it would be someone like her.

We finished up lunch and Esme offered to give me a tour of the house. Alice rolled her eyes and said that she'd rather not join us. She wanted to call Jasper to see if their plans for the rest of the weekend were still on. As Alice walked back into the foyer to retrieve her phone from her bag, I made my way to the mantle in the living room, looking at all the family photographs on display there.

"Have you met any of my other children?" Esme asked as she came to stand beside me.

As my eyes scanned the photos, all but two of the faces were familiar. It was evident that, even as a young child, Alice had a flair for fashion. In one photograph, she was standing about halfway up the staircase, striking a ridiculous pose. She was dressed in what was obviously her mother's evening gown – one of the rhinestone straps was falling off of her shoulder – and large derby-style hat. The next photo was of Edward, sitting on a bench out in a garden. He was reading, and he seemed oblivious to the fact that the camera was on him. He must have been eight, maybe nine, years old in this photo – his face still had the chubbiness of childhood – but his posture and serious face made him look years older.

The only photos I didn't recognize were those of a very muscular, tan boy. The photos of him in his younger years were all sports related, but the older photographs showed him with an uncommonly beautiful blonde woman. Together, they looked happier than any couple I had ever seen.

"That's my Emmet," Esme whispered, "and that's his bride, Rose. Aren't they darling?"

"Yes, they are," I replied.

"And this beautiful boy," she said, pointing to another photo, "is my Edward. You've met him, I presume?"

I felt the color creep back into my face. "Yes," I mumbled.

"Wonderful," Esme replied, "let's go see the house, shall we?"

I followed her through the hallways as she pointed out the rooms, telling me all about the antiques that she had inherited. It was fascinating. The closest thing we had to an antique at Charlie's was the console television that we used as a stand for the flatscreen.

It was obvious that Esme loved her home – and more than that, she loved her family. Each room held a new story, a memory of what her children had done to make her smile, laugh, or become enraged in years past. She asked about my home as we ascended the stairs, and laughed when I told her it was approximately the size of her garage.

"Well dear, the size of the home isn't what matters. It's the size of the love that fills it."

Truer words had never been spoken – and it was clear that every inch of this opulent mansion was filled to the brim with love.

We passed each of the Cullen children's childhood bedrooms. She opened the door to the last one on the hallway, and I knew immediately whose room it was. The south wall was an enormous bookcase, overflowing with leather-bound volumes. There were two electric keyboards against the east wall, and a massive stereo system to the west of them. The bed, which was a loft-style, was hidden behind the door, with a computer desk nestled underneath – more books stacked on top of it.

This was Edward's room. What caught my eye, aside from the books, was a painting. The colors were muted, but the image was astounding. It was a girl, her long brown hair whipping around her face as if caught in the wind. Her eyes were wide, as if she was in wonder of whatever she was seeing just off the canvas, and a deep brown. She was slight, but not too thin. I sucked in a breath because, though I never considered myself to be vain, I thought she looked just like…me.

"He loved that painting. He begged for it when we went to Seattle to one of Carlisle's conferences. The children and I attended an art fair while their father was in meetings all day. I just couldn't say no. When he began playing the piano, he used to stare at it as he composed. I always thought that it was his muse."

I looked at Esme, wondering if she saw the similarity – wondering what all of this meant.

"I think she's beautiful," she said as she smiled down at me, "and I know he does, too."

I nodded as she closed the door, continuing with the tour.

*****

Alice and I sped back through the neighborhood's winding streets on our way back to the city. I had thoroughly enjoyed my time with Esme and Alice at the house, but I was glad to be headed back to the apartment. Partially, because I was so worn out from all the excitement and shopping – and partially because I was hoping to run into Edward.

Alice informed me along the way that we were going to get dressed up tonight and go out for a while. When I complained, she told me in a not-so-polite way to suck it up – that I had promised to do whatever she wanted today. We were only going out for coffee, so I hoped that we wouldn't be out long.

When we got back to Alice's building, the apartment was empty. Part of me was sad that I wouldn't be able to see Edward, but the bigger part of me was happy that I wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness that I was sure would come with being in the same room with him. After today's enlightening conversations, I felt like I knew him on a very personal level; even though we had barely spoken a few words to each other.

Alice dolled me up for our night out. She put me in the blue dress and black wedge boots. Since it was chilly, she chose a vintage cardigan for me to wear, along with a cashmere scarf. I sat in the bathroom for what seemed like forever while Alice styled my hair. She twirled thick sections around a fat curling iron to make loose waves, and then sprayed my hair with some sort of shiny potion that made it almost glitter in the light. I had to admit – I looked pretty good.

Once Alice was satisfied with how we looked, we headed over to the Drowsy Poet, a small but popular coffee house just a few blocks from the building. The place was packed. Jasper had decided to meet us there, and he was waiting at a small table near the back with two caramel lattes and a plate full of biscotti and scones.

We laughed and talked for a long while. Alice told Jasper about my trip to casa de Cullen, and he laughed when I told him that I had been counting the windows. He admitted to doing the same thing the first time he visited. The three of us were having a wonderful time; but as the night went on, I realized that the two of them probably wanted some time alone – not to mention that I was completely exhausted.

When I offered to leave by myself, Alice wouldn't hear of it. She and Jasper paid our bill, then walked with me to the golden-doored building that she occupied. We stood in the lobby, waiting for the elevator to come, and I asked Alice what she wanted to do for the rest of the night.

"Silly Bella," she said, that evil little twinkle back in her eye. "We just wanted to make sure you got back here ok. As soon as I let you in, we're leaving. Jasper wants to go see a band that's playing at New Moon tonight…if that's ok with you."

"Oh, sure," I said. I was only mildly disappointed that they weren't staying. I was looking forward to crawling into the big, fluffy bed in the guest room. _And if I get lucky, I'll get a peek of something to inspire sweet dreams._

Sadly, the apartment was empty. Alice ran to the bathroom to grab the lip gloss that she had forgotten earlier. Jasper grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, mumbling something about Yankees and no good whiskey.

"Are you ok? We won't be out too late, I promise," Alice said as she pulled on a heavier jacket.

"Yeah, I fine. I'm hitting the hay – I don't think I've done as much in the last four weeks as I've done today."

"Alright," she replied, lacing her fingers through Jasper's and heading toward the door, "Sleep tight!"

They disappeared through the door and I headed to the living room. I was so physically tired; but my mind wouldn't slow down. All I could think about was the gorgeous man who lived here and all the things I had learned about him today.

I decided that a little mindless television would be just what the doctor ordered. I plopped down on the couch, not bothering to even take off my shoes, and turned the large flatscreen to a reality show. As I watched women do repulsive things with a motorcycle as they vied for the affection of a washed-up rock star, my mind began wandering…

"_I always thought she was his muse"_

"_All he ever did was sit in his room and read…" _

_She looked like….me._

"_You're not going to let this go, are you?"_

At some point, I drifted off to sleep.

*****

_Warm._

"You'd be a lot more comfortable in the bed, you know," a velvet voice said.

_So warm and bright. Why was it bright?_

I blinked my eyes open, trying to adjust them to the light.

_I'm definitely dreaming._

Edward stood in front of me. I looked up at him, trying to discern whether or not he was real. His perfectly mussed hair stuck out in a hundred different directions, framing his perfect face like the fine work of art that it was. He ran his fingers through it, and smiled that crooked smile that had become the crux of every fantasy I had had in the last twenty-four hours.

_Oh yeah…what a dream. Please don't let me wake up just yet._

He knelt down in front of me and placed his hands on either side of my body on the couch.

"Bella," he whispered, "I know you're tired. Why don't you let me help you get to bed? You'll be much more comfortable."

_Edward. Bed. Ummmm…._

I think I might have smiled as I began to yawn and stretch. Then I realized I was actually awake, and that he was actually there – right in front of me – and I had drool running down the side of my chin.

_Shit. _The blushing was immediate. _Well, so much for sweet dreams._

He chuckled softly as I tried to nonchalantly wipe my face.

"Bed?" he asked again.

"Yes, definitely," I answered, my voice raspy.

I stood up; throwing the blanket that had been over me onto the back of the couch. _When did I get a blanket?_ I stumbled over my own feet as I tried to make my way toward the hallway - stupid Alice and her stupid designer boots. Just as I was about to pitch over backward, I felt a warm hand on my elbow.

"Easy there," Edward said from behind me, "let's find a safer place for you to fall this time."

_Edward. Falling. Ummmmm…._

He followed me into the bedroom, turning on the light as we entered. Then, he stepped past me and turned down the bedclothes, never looking at me as he did so. I tripped again, but managed to turn myself so that when I fell, I was sitting on the bed, opposite from where he stood. I bounced a little on impact, and couldn't help but giggle.

"Something funny?" he asked.

"These stupid boots," I slurred, still half asleep, "I love your sister, but she really doesn't take no for an answer very well."

"Tell me about it," he said.

I hitched one leg up on the bed and pushed the soft leather of my boot down as far as I could. I tried pushing it off with both hands, but it didn't budge. Then I tried grabbing the wedge of the heel and pulling, but that didn't work either.

"Do you need some help?"

I nodded.

Edward walked around to where I sat and kneeled down beside the bed. With one swift, graceful motion, removed the boot from my foot. As he did, he slid his opposite hand down my calf slowly. I just sat there, not sure what to say or what to do – but I knew that in all my limited experiences with guys, this was the single-most erotic thing that I had ever experienced.

He reached over to my other leg and gathered the leather of my boot between his fingers. Then he looked up at me, his eyes boring into mine, and pulled it down to my ankle. His hands made one pass up and back down my calf, and I swear I heard him growl in his chest. Then, he removed the boot from my foot just as easily as he had the other one.

He never broke eye contact as he placed the shoes on the floor. Slowly, he raised himself up until our faces were level with one another. My breath hitched, and I could feel my cheeks turning a deeper shade of red than they had ever been. I blinked slowly, half expecting to wake up suddenly from what I was convinced, once again, was the best dream I had ever had.

He leaned toward me, never faltering in his gaze, and brushed his lips against mine. It was so brief – but the rush of electric current through my veins seemed to last an eternity. His lips turned up into that gorgeous smile, and he leaned into me again, pressing his lips firmly against mine. I sucked in a breath, trying to memorize every sensory image that this moment was giving me – the smell of his cologne, the caramel taste of his breath, the soft forcefulness of his lips. _Oh God in heaven, his lips._

I pressed myself back against him, returning the pressure that he had created. I parted my lips slightly in invitation, wanting to taste him again and again. He reciprocated by slowly slipping his tongue against my bottom lip – and before I knew what had happened, our tongues were fighting for dominance – desperate for this moment not to end. Too soon, he pulled away; and he rested his hand against my flushed cheek as he once again locked me into his gaze.

"Goodnight, Bella," he whispered as he rose to his feet. His hand brushed my cheek softly as he turned to leave the room. I sat on the edge of the bed, watching him as he reached to turn out the light before closing the door.

I curled up onto my side in the bed – not caring that I was still wearing the dress that Alice had put me in earlier in the night – and pulled the covers up over my shoulders. I closed my eyes, willing myself to fall asleep quickly; so that I wouldn't lose one second of the dream that I had just lived.

* * *

A/N: He kissed her! He kissed her! (I tried to talk him into practicing on me first, but he wouldn't...*sigh*)

Special thanks to ThatPanicGirlE for going cross-eyed with me over this. Hope you have fun at the shoe store, darlin'.

OK, you know the deal...Reviews are love, and love makes the world go 'round. The more reviews, the more lemony goodness...yes, it really will be here next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hellooo there! So, we got those crazy kids to lock lips...what's next?

A nice glass of lemonade, that's what.

Don't worry...Bella's still a good girl.

Things are going to slow down for me here on FF until I get this story caught up over on Twilighted. It's getting confusing as to what I've posted where. So, I'll keep writing and you keep reviewing and reading - when everything's flush on both sites, I'll give you more.

Thanks again to all of you who have taken the time to review - I love hearing what you think.

Disclaimer: I own a half-eaten box of Entemann's chocolate chip cookies. SM owns Twilight.

* * *

Chapter 8

_Plink._

_Plink, plink-plink-plink, plink. Plink._

I rolled over, trying to find the alarm clocks glowing display with only one eye open.

3:47

_You are a sexy man, Mr. Cullen, but this is getting ridiculous._

I pulled the covers over my head, praying that sleep would overtake me again. It didn't. All I could hear was the melody that Edward was playing in the other room. As I listened, I recognized the piece – it was Tchaikovsky – the music from the Dance of the Black Swan in Swan Lake. It sounded much different being played on only a piano – it was haunting in its simplicity.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture myself performing the piece. I had auditioned about two years ago for a role in Swan Lake; but another, more seasoned, dancer had been chosen from our studio. Almost instinctively, I felt my feet begin to move beneath the covers, reacting to the high and low notes in the music. Pointing and flexing my toes, I could feel myself on the stage and see in my mind the bright lights that would black out the audience.

I was used to these fantasies. Every night as I lay down to sleep, I thought about what it would feel like to be the principle dancer in one of my favorite ballets. I had been the Black Swan, the Sugar Plum Fairy, Nikiya, Giselle…the list went on and on.

Those little go-to-sleep fantasies were much different from the ones that I'd been having the past two nights. Edward had overtaken my subconscious, and when I closed my eyes all I could see was his face. Tonight hadn't helped matters. Tonight, as I had drifted off to dream land, I had fantasized about much more than his face.

I opened my eyes and rolled out of bed with a resigned sigh. I figured if I was going to be awake, I might as well get comfortable – the blue dress that I had fallen asleep in was pretty, but it wasn't my flannel pajama pants. I stood up and fumbled around in the dark for my bag, eventually finding it at the foot of the bed. I reached down and felt around for my pjs, and when I found them I threw them across the bed. I reached to my left side and started unzipping my dress, taking my arms out of it and letting it pool around my ankles on the floor. I almost unfastened my bra, but then I thought better of it.

_Don't want to blind anyone with the headlights in the morning._

I retrieved a t-shirt from the bag and pulled it over my head, then made a move to step out of the pool of fabric at my feet.

Bad decision.

I tripped over some part of the dress and felt myself falling in the opposite direction of the bed. I reached out into the darkness, begging my hands to find purchase on anything solid enough to stop me from a face plant. Instead, I grabbed onto the wicker hamper and pulled it down with me as I fell.

The music had stopped. I heard footsteps. _Please be Alice, please be Alice,_ I screamed in my head. The door to the room flew open, and I was temporarily blinded. I wasn't quite sure if I was blinded by the light shining through the doorway or his hopelessly beautiful face.

"Are you ok, Bella?" he asked. His eyes were wide with fear.

"Fine," I managed to mumble from my awkward position on the floor.

"Oh my God," he said in a whoosh of breath, turning his head back toward the hall.

That was the point when I was sure that he had noticed that I was wearing only a t-shirt and my undies.

Edward had been nice enough to leave me alone while I collected myself and finished getting my pants on. I decided to head to the living room to thank him for checking on me (and who was I kidding – I wanted to look at him a little more) and for giving me my privacy. It took three tries leaving the room before I could manage to open the door without blushing. Once I did, I checked down the hallway to see if Alice's door was still closed. I really hoped I hadn't woken her.

The door to her room was wide open – but it was dark. Was she not in there?

"She's spending the night with Jasper," Edward said from the living room, answering my unspoken question.

_Does he read minds, too? Sweet baby Jesus, I hope not._

I walked slowly into the living room, stopping when I saw him sitting at the piano bench.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I just heard a crash and…"

"It's ok, really. Thank you for coming to check on me. I mean, I could've fallen and broken my neck, so I'm glad you checked in to make sure I wasn't dead or paralyzed or something."

_Cut off the word vomit, Bella._

He smiled at me and went back to playing softly. I walked past him into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. I took a few sips and put it back. As I went to walk back by Edward, he stopped playing. He looked up at me from the piano as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Still looking at me, he began to play.

I was frozen in that spot for a short eternity - not that I wanted to move, anyway. The notes that filled the room were light and sweet, and then suddenly changed to dark and beautiful. Edward left my gaze only a few times for the briefest of moments to look down at the keys. As the music accelerated, I could feel my body begin to react to it. I wanted to turn, to leap, to lift my arms high and sweep them across my body in time with this strange melody. Realizing what an effect it was having on me, I suddenly wanted to run. Then, the music began to slow again, and became painfully simple as he ended the piece.

"You…you're amazing. That was amazing. It…it was beautiful," I whispered.

He looked me dead in the eyes, and began to rise from his seat on the bench.

"It was you," he said, stalking toward me.

His hand reached up to brush my cheek and he pulled my face to his. This kiss wasn't like to first, it was urgent and rough. I heard him pull in a breath as he wrapped his free arm around my waist, crushing me against his warm body. I felt a groan escape him, as his chest vibrated against my own. I ran my hands up his torso, his neck, until my fingers were knotted in his tousled hair. As he brushed his thumb up and down my cheek, he deepened our kiss. My knees threatened to give way under the weight of it.

Edward walked me backward until I felt the couch behind my knees. His hand left my face, feeling for the cushion so that he could guide us down onto it. We managed to sit, our mouths never disconnecting from one another, and he pulled me into his lap.

"Bella," he sighed, his lips separating from mine for one brief moment.

My mind was racing. What was happening? I still hadn't carried on a decent conversation with him, yet here I was, on his couch, making out with him like a fourteen year-old in the back of a theatre.

His hands moved down to my shoulders, and then one of them ran the circuit back up to the back of my neck.

"You are so beautiful," he said.

"You," I murmured.

His lips found mine again. He pulled my top lip into his mouth and sucked on it, finally releasing it so that he could do the same to my bottom lip. I'm pretty sure that's when I moaned. I felt one of his hands start to move lower, near the hem of my shirt. I sucked in my stomach, trying to tell him with my body that this was okay, that I wanted him to touch me. The truth was, I didn't know if I was ready for this – but I knew I didn't want him to _stop_ touching me.

His hand finally found the skin of my stomach just under my shirt. He ran his fingers over the sensitive area, then began to work his way up…up..up…_ Please don't stop._

I arched my back, effectively making his hand find the place that I was dying to have it. He squeezed my breast, pulling and taunting until I thought I was going to go mad. His kiss never faltered, my breath hitched in my chest beneath his hand.

"So soft," he said, breaking the kiss once more. He looked up into my eyes, the heat radiating between his hand and my chest.

"Umm," was all I could mutter.

Both of his hands fell to the bottom of my shirt, and he pulled it up until I was exposed from the top of my bra down to the waistline of my pants. He looked down at me, then back up to my eyes. I was mortified. Sure, I had gotten to second base with a guy or two, but never in the bright lights of the living room. I had never felt more exposed.

He leaned his head down, and kissed the top of my right breast as his hands snaked back around my waist. I gasped at the sensation, and he immediately followed the action with a kiss to my left.

"So sweet," he whispered as he continued to alternate kisses along my bra line.

With one finger, he pulled down the lace cup that was my only cover and circled his finger around my nipple. I jerked back in response, a flood of heat rushing to places that had never been so warm. My head fell back against the couch and I closed my eyes. He continued his flawless technique on my other breast, making me wince with delight and anticipation. As his mouth kept busy with worshipping my chest, his hands were on their way south.

When I felt his warm fingers toying with the waistband of my pants, I whipped my head back into an upright position.

"Um, I…I don't…" I stuttered.

"You what? Do you want me to stop?" he asked, lifting his head to look at my flushed face.

"No!" I replied, probably too quickly and definitely too loudly.

He smiled at me and lowered his head back to cleavage.

His hands began making their way below the elastic of my pajamas, and I silently cursed myself for not letting Alice pick something out for me during out shopping excursion. _Nothing like flannel frogs dressed like ballerinas to turn a guy's crank._

I felt his hand brush against my most sensitive spot, then his fingers slid between my thighs. I parted my legs slightly, willing him closer to me. He released my taught nipple from his mouth and brought his face back up to mine, drawing lazy patterns on my lips with his tongue.

I gasped as he ran one finger along my sex.

"Damn," he whispered against my mouth.

He darted his tongue out against my lips, asking for entry. I obliged, and was rewarded with another desperate kiss as his finger began to slowly enter me. I bucked my hips involuntarily against his hand and whimpered. I had never gone this far – not with anyone besides myself.

What a difference another hand makes. He continued his ministrations, slowly pulling and pushing in and out of me with his hand while my mouth tried in vain to gain some sort of control over his. His lips left mine, but only to travel down my neck and back up to the place just below my ear that made me insane. I wiggled under his mouth, which had a startling effect on what was going on down below.

"Beautiful, beautiful," he mumbled against my neck.

I felt the muscles in my legs tighten, and a warm electrical feeling began to form in my abdomen. He continued kissing my neck, adding a few licks and nibbles in for good measure. I was panting – begging him to continue – knowing I couldn't take anymore. My muscles tightened as he brought his face back to mine, kissing me harder than he had before. I let out a high-pitched whimper as I felt the surge move farther down my body. Just when I thought that the feeling was trapped there, he brushed his thumb against my most sensitive area.

I exploded. I threw my head back and gasped for air as I felt my muscles pulling his fingers deeper inside. Slowly, he withdrew them and pulled his hand from the confines of my pants. He methodically peppered kisses across my face and up and down my neck, whispering softly between each one.

"It was you."

I opened my eyes and looked at him, his face serious as he spoke.

"Who was me?" I asked in a raspy voice that surprised me.

"The music…It was you. You are so beautiful, Bella."

I didn't know what to say, so I kept my mouth closed. He moved us so that I was lying between him and the back of the couch, and laid his head on my stomach. Reaching behind me, he grabbed a blanket and threw it on top of us, then wrapped his free arm around my hips. My hand went to his hair and I began absent-mindedly raking my fingers through it.

As my eyes closed, I wanted to fight with them, but knew I needed the rest. It had to be close to five in the morning by now. I looked down at Edward, his face a picture of bliss, and decided it was now or never.

"Edward?" I asked tentatively.

"Hmm?" he grunted.

"Tomorrow – do you think maybe we can talk?"

"Whatever you want, Bella, that's what we'll do. Anything….always."

And with that, he snuggled down into my side and we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

I woke up with a crick in my neck, my arm asleep under the weight of Edward's head.

_Oh damn. Damn, damn, damnity-damn-damn. _

_What the hell was I thinking?_

I didn't want to think about the events of last night, but it was impossible. Looking down at the angel of a man curled up next to me, I couldn't help but remember what we had done, how he had made me feel - his kisses, his words, _his touch._

_This isn't awkward…not at all._

Who was I kidding? Sarcasm was definitely not my forte. This was weird. Somehow, in the span of an hour, I had gone from a good girl who'd never gone past second base with her boyfriend to a hormone-riddled hussy who let a guy she hadn't even talked to on the phone down her pants. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

I decided the best thing to do was to leave. I had to get out before he woke up – before things had a chance to get any more awful than they already were. Slowly, I slid myself out from under the blanket and Edward. I managed to get my legs turned around and my feet planted firmly on the floor; and I was about to stand up when he began to stir.

"Bella," he said.

I turned my head to look at him, but his eyes were still closed. I gently pushed myself up off the couch and tip-toed down the hall toward the guest room. Thank heaven Alice hadn't come home yet.

Once inside the spare room, I closed the door and turned to look at myself in the mirror. My lips were swollen from the insane kisses that Edward and I had shared. The mascara that Alice had applied to my lashes was now flaked under my eyes, giving the illusion of dark bags there. My hair looked like rats had taken up residence in it. _Sexy, _I thought. Then, I realized what t-shirt I had thrown on in the dark last night, and I had to laugh at myself. Printed in hot pink letters across the blue cotton was the saying that had made me blush a deep shade of red when Jake had given me the shirt a few years back:

Dancers Do It In Five Positions.

_No wonder._

I quickly packed up my clothes, throwing my newly acquired black boots and blue dress on top of everything else in my bag. I pulled the covers up on the bed and looked over at the clock.

11:23

Great, I had slept half the day away. I was sure that if I didn't get out of here soon, Alice would be home and I would be forced to answer questions that I didn't want to answer. I left the room and headed to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush.

The door was closed and the light was on. I peeked down the hallway and looked at the couch – it was empty. Suddenly I felt the urge to go buy a new toothbrush, but I wondered if it would be taken the wrong way if I left it here. What if he thought I was going to move in or something? I could just say I forgot it. The door opened.

"Good morning," he said with a crooked smile as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hi," I responded, not making eye contact.

He must have noticed my bag. The next thing out of his mouth was,

"You're leaving?"

I blushed, because I didn't know what to say. Yes, I had planned on leaving until I saw him, looking cuter in wrinkled clothes than should be allowed by law.

"Um, no…I was just, uh, going to take a shower. Are you done?"

"Yeah, I'm done. Um, do you want breakfast? I could make something. Or I could make lunch if you'd rather have that. Or we could go somewhere…"

"No," I interrupted, "You don't have to do that, I can just grab something on my way home."

"So, you _are_ leaving?"

"Well, I mean…"

"You mean…what? That you're embarrassed as hell? That you don't know what to say to me, even though last night you had no problem showing me what you wanted? Is this your normal deal? Just have a little fun and then go running off?"

I was shocked. Tears stung at my eyes as I tried to come up with a coherent answer. _How dare he?_

"_Excuse me?" _I said, "Is this my _normal_ deal? Who the hell do you think you are, talking to me like I'm some kind of _whore_?" My voice had raised at least two octaves now that I was yelling. "And _for your information,_ yes, I'm embarrassed. I've never done _anything _like that with _anyone_ and certainly not with my friend's brother! If I didn't like Alice so much, I'd kick your ass and never set foot back in this place!"

"_You'd_ kick _my_ ass?" he asked, that damn smile playing at the edge of his mouth again.

"That's right," I answered, raising my chin in indignation.

"I'd love to see that," he replied as he walked past me. "So, do you want your eggs scrambled or over easy?"

"Over easy," I answered, not thinking. Then I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me.

I tried to stay in the bathroom as long as possible. When I finally emerged, the scent of bacon and eggs had permeated the apartment and my stomach responded by growling loudly at me.

I went back into the guest room and put my bag back down. I wasn't sure when or how I had made the decision to stay for a while, but I had. So, I headed back down the hallway and into the kitchen, where I found Edward putting eggs onto a plate with toast and bacon.

"Do you want to eat in here, or in the living room?" he asked.

"I don't care," I answered. Delicious eggs be damned, I was still mad.

"Let's go to the living room then," he replied, motioning toward the couch with his head as he carried the two plates.

I sat down with my legs curled under me as far against the end of the sofa as I could. Edward followed suit, handing me my plate and sitting at the opposite end, pulling the ottoman over to use as a table. We ate in amiable silence.

When we were done, he stood up and took my plate. He asked if I wanted anything to drink, and then brought me a can of soda back from the kitchen. I popped the top and took a sip, then sat back – wondering where this odd silence was heading.

"So, you dance with Alice?" he asked.

_So now you want to play nice? _

"Yes," I answered, "and you compose music?"

"Yes," he replied.

"You're from Washington?"

"Yes. You're from here?"

"Yes, I am. Born and raised," he replied.

We went back and forth like this for what seemed like forever, asking simple yes or no questions and answering them. It was like a job interview – only it was a job interview where the boss had already been down my pants the night before.

"So," he asked, after the four-thousandth question, "what on earth is a girl like you doing hanging out with a girl like my sister?"

"Alice? Alice is the only person who has bothered to befriend me since I moved. Other than Jake, of course, but he has to be nice to me. My roommate is criminally insane, and everyone else just looks at me funny because I fall a lot. What's wrong with Alice?"

"Who's Jake?" he asked instead of answering my question.

"Jake – Jacob Black. He's been in the program a semester longer than I have. He's my partner."

"Your dancing partner, you mean?"

"Well, yeah, but he's more than that. He's my best friend. I tell him everything. We're pretty inseparable."

"And he's not your boyfriend?"

"No! I mean, there was this one time when he wanted to date me, and I tried that, but I don't know, there was never really anything there for me."

"But there was for him?" Edward responded.

"I guess," I shrugged, "I mean, he tried to kiss me and all…"

"He what?" Edward interrupted. "You mean to tell me that this guy, who has these feelings for you – you dance with him every day? You let him put his hands all over you? You tell him all your secrets and spend all this time with him?"

"Well, yeah, but it's not like that. We're past that. Jacob knows that I don't feel that way about him."

"So, that's your angle? 'He knows, so it's ok to drag him along'? Do you get off on teasing the guy?"

He used air quotes. I hate air quotes.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I wasn't aware that your opinion on my relationship _with my best friend_ was important - or even requested, for that matter. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm leaving."

"Whatever," he replied, standing up.

I walked back to the guest room and retrieved my bag, then headed to the entryway for my jacket and purse.

"You're welcome for breakfast, by the way," Edward yelled from the other room.

"Thanks. It was nice – unlike the _company!" _I yelled in return.

"Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, cock tease!" he countered.

I grunted, and then walked out the door, trying to pull it back through the frame as I closed it.

As I trudged toward the elevator, my mind raced. Who the hell did he think he was, calling me a cock tease? Why did it matter to him what my relationship with Jake was like? Was he mad at me for being Jake's friend even though we had briefly dated? Was he mad because he thought that I was stringing Jake along?

_You let him put his hands all over you? You tell him all your secrets and spend all this time with him?"_

Remembering his words reignited the anger inside me. Of course I let Jake touch me –I had to – we were dancers. And of course I told Jake all my secrets – he was my friend. Why on earth would Edward care about any of that? It wasn't like he hadn't heard a few of my secrets today while we played twenty-hundred-questions; and it wasn't like he hadn't already had his hands all over me.

Then it hit me.

Edward wasn't being a douche. Well, not in the typical "I'm a guy, so I'm a douche" way.

Edward was jealous.

* * *

Sigh...don't you just love it when they fight?

ThatPanicGirlE has convinced me to keep writing this...so if you don't like it - blame her. And while you're at it, go check out her NEW story, Broken Promises, because it's hawt. Like, a total mindfarg hawt.

Till next time...dance on, loves!


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry about the update fail.

There's a thread for this story over on Twilighted now. ThatPanicGirlE set it up, and we'd love for you to come play with us over there.

http://www (dot) twilighted (dot) net / forum / viewtopic . php?f=44&t=7438&start=10&st=0&sk=t&sd=a Replace dots and remove spaces...Yipee!!

(There's also a link in my profile if you're a technotard like I am)

I own lots and lots and lots of notebooks filled with all sorts of lovely information about peptic ulcers. SM owns Twilight.

* * *

My knees were killing me.

My feet were cursing the day I was born.

After leaving the building that housed Alice and Edward's apartment, I began running down the sidewalks of Chicago toward Jake's.

Unfortunately, I'm not a really great runner. I had fallen down – a lot. I had skinned my knees twice and my palms once; and I was sure that my chin would be bruised tomorrow, if it wasn't already. On top of that, my feet, which had enjoyed a relaxing weekend on Alice's plush carpet, were now burning with pain.

Once I made it to the building, I stopped at the door to catch my breath. I had been crying and running, I knew I was a mess, and I didn't want Jake to see me like this. I pulled my compact out of my purse and wiped my eyes, dabbing just a little powder underneath them to try to mask the puffiness. Pulling my hair up into a messy bun, I began to trudge up the seven flights of stairs. My feet screamed with each step, and I silently cursed the elevator for being out of order. With each turn, my bags became heavier – by the fourth floor I seriously considered just leaving them in the stairwell. But I really did love that blue dress.

Once I reached Jake's floor, I limped slowly toward his apartment door. It was only then that I thought about how rude it was of me to show up without calling first. Jake was my best friend, though, so he wouldn't care. I just had to figure out what I was going to tell him when he asked why I had come over.

I knocked on his door, still undecided as to how I would answer that question.

When Jake pulled the door open, the look on his face was total shock. I had expected a warm hug – or even a joke like, "We're agnostic" or "We gave at the office" when he saw me standing there. Instead, he quickly pushed me out into the hall, closing the door behind himself.

"Bells, what are you doing here? What happened? Did you get in a fight?"

"No, no! You know me, with the falling…I just needed to see you, Jake. What's going on? Why won't you let me in? Do you have a _girl_ in there, Mr. Black?" I joked as I tried to scoot past him and open the door.

"Damnit, Bells," he said, throwing his arm out to block me, "this just isn't a good time, is all."

"What the hell, Jake?" I said, tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks.

Why was everyone being so awful to me today? First, Victoria had stolen my little fleece bag in an attempt to cripple me. Then, Alice went off and left me alone with her obviously bi-polar brother. Next, said manic-depressive god of beauty gave me the most memorable night in, well, _ever; _then turned around and made me cry – twice. And now Jake wasn't letting me into his apartment?

_Ah, hell no._

"Jake, please! I just need to talk," I cried, my face wet once more with tears. "I just had the most awful weekend ever! Victoria, then Alice, and then he…and we…" I blubbered incoherently.

"Aw, sweetie girl, calm down," Jake said as he put his arms around me.

I buried my face in his warm chest and just let all my frustrations pour out of me. In that moment – in my desperation to know that not everyone in the world was against me – I wondered why I just couldn't be attracted to Jake. He was so perfect – kind, compassionate, honest, and loyal – not to mention attractive, well-dressed, and charming. As I sobbed, the thought crossed my mind to tell him so, but he pulled away from me and led me into the apartment.

"Sweetie, you've got to calm down. Take a minute to chill and then start from the beginning," he said, leading me over to the couch.

I drew in a ragged breath and looked around me, trying to focus. Jake's apartment was a wreck. Clothes were strewn all over the floor. I moved a half-eaten plate of food and several empty beer bottles to one side of the coffee table so I could put my feet up.

"Party?" I asked.

"Something like that," he replied. "But don't worry about that, tell me about you."

I took another deep breath and started at the beginning. I told Jake about Friday, when I had gotten to dance class and realized that I didn't have my little bag with me. He winced as I told him about dancing bare-toed for an hour, bleeding through my shoes at the end. I told him about the rehearsal room, and the stranger that had been so rude to me because I had interrupted him there. Then, I launched into the tale of the hospital – how Alice had dragged me in to see her father and the shock it had caused me to find out that she was a Cullen.

"Bella, you didn't know she's Esme's daughter?" he asked, surprised. "I thought you did. I was surprised that you were hanging with her, though, with her being a trust-fund brat and all."

"Yeah, but she's so sweet, Jake. She's nothing like Lauren or the other rich bitches back home."

He nodded and I continued. I explained how Alice had demanded that I stay with her, then how I met her brother, who was the rude guy from the rehearsal room. I skipped over the part where I tripped in the living room and felt sparks when he touched me. When I had finally finished telling him about the mall, lunch at the Cullen homestead, and the coffee house, I stopped.

"Bells, I gotta tell you – that doesn't sound like such a bad weekend. I mean, yeah, Victoria was a complete ass, but other than that, it sounds like Alice took really good care of you. And you got to have lunch with Esme – at her house!"

"I guess you're right, Jake. None of that was really bad. It's just…."

My head snapped up when I heard the bedroom door open, and I lost my train of thought. There, standing in front of Jake's room, was Sam – wearing nothing but his boxer briefs and a smile.

"Hey…" he said.

I quirked an eyebrow at Jake.

"Uh, hey," Jake replied as his face turned ten shades of red.

"Uh, Jake?" I asked.

"Babe," Sam started, "I'm just gonna jet. I've gotta meet Quil and Embry down at Eclipse to set up for tonight. I'll just, uh, grab my clothes," he said, walking toward the living room.

_Babe?_

"Jake?" I asked again, still waiting for him to reply. I was beginning to think he was going into shock. I was beginning to think I was, too.

I watched as Sam bent over and retrieved a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt from the living room floor. He slid the shirt over his head, and then stepped into the jeans.

I watched, mouth agape, as he leaned over and kissed my best friend on the cheek.

"See you later," Sam whispered.

"Yeah," was Jake's only answer.

Sam walked over to the coat rack beside the door and slipped his shoes on, then grabbed his jacket. He opened the door, then turned back to look at Jake.

"Love you," he said as he stepped out into the hallway.

"You too, man," Jake replied, not turning to look at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled the door closed.

I struggled to pull my jaw off the floor. My brain refused to process what I had just seen.

"Um, seriously, Jake…?" I said.

"Bella," he replied, tucking his chin to his chest and hiding his face in his hands. He sat that way for what seemed like forever until he raised his head and looked at me. "I've wanted to tell you, Bella, I swear I have. It's just that, well, Sam and I – we didn't know how anyone would take it. This is all so new, you know? I never thought – I never imagined that I would…well, you know."

"What, Jake? That you would be _gay_?" I asked, much louder than I intended.

"Yeah, Bells. I mean, please! I know we don't have secrets – but I was so afraid that you would hate me, especially since – you know. I love you so much, Bells," he said, reaching out to grab my hands. "I just love you so much, and I didn't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you now, I just…"

"Just what? Just didn't think you could trust me? Just didn't think I would understand? Who do you think I am, Jake?" I was furious.

"I didn't know, Bella!"

"You obviously knew that you _love_ him, Jake!"

"I do, Bells. I do." He put his head back into his hands and started to cry.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face again. I reached over and put my arm around Jake, trying to let him know without words that I was there for him. He rested his head against my neck.

"Jake, have you always known? I mean…me and you…"

"It's so complicated, Bells. I guess I always knew that there was something different about me. I mean, I'm six-two, I can run like the wind – and I've never had so much as an inkling of interest in sports. You know how badly I got picked on back in Forks for dancing. But, I guess I didn't care. I just knew that I loved it and that it was what I was supposed to do."

"Jake, I'm not talking about dancing," I replied.

"I know – but that's what I'm getting at. You asked me if I always knew – and in a way, I guess I did."

"But…me? What about that summer?"

"Yeah, that summer…" he said sadly. "That summer was so weird for me. You and I seemed perfect for each other, you know? You're an awesome girl, Bella, so don't take this the wrong way, ok? But I was never really attracted to you_ that way._"

I nodded, wanting him to continue. In some strange way, this was all making perfect sense.

Jake continued, "I don't want you to think that I was using you, because I wasn't – I swear. I figured that me and you, we _should_ work. In my mind, if I knew that you were attracted to me like that, I would be able to be attracted to you the same way. Hell, I even tried to force myself to want it by kissing you! It just wasn't there, Bells. That's why, when things didn't work out, I was so glad that it was because you felt the same way – well, sort of. I was just ready for us to get back to being Jake and Bella – best friends and partners. Does that make any sense?"

"It makes perfect sense, Jake, but I wish you would've trusted me. I beat myself up for a long time over the way I acted toward you."

"I'm sorry," he responded. "You're right. But now that I have Sam, and you're here with me in Chicago, I just feel like my world's complete."

"Jake, I don't care _who_ you love. As long as you're happy, that's all I can ask for. I just hope he's good to you, or else I'll have to kick his ass."

"I'd like to see that," he replied, chuckling into my shoulder.

I realized that I had already heard those words today – from someone completely different. It was time for me to come clean, too.

"Jake," I started, "I'm going to love you no matter what. You should know that by now. And since we're getting all of our secrets out in the open…I guess I need to tell you something, too."

He picked his head up and looked at me with tear-reddened eyes.

"Ok, shoot," he sniffed.

"Holy shit, Bells!" he exclaimed as I finished telling him the story of Edward and I – complete with gory details.

"Jake…" It was my turn to be embarrassed.

"So let me get this straight," he said. "You let Edward Cullen venture down to no man's land and now you feel all weird about it. And the same Edward Cullen, gorgeous ass that he is, is jealous – of me?"

"It seems that way," I answered.

"Unbelievable," he muttered. "So what are you going to do? I mean, it's obvious that you're hot for him too, you big slut," he teased.

I punched him in the arm. _Ouch._

"Jake!" I said in mock-horror. "Don't rub it in!"

"Oh, I don't think I was the one rubbing anything, Miss Five-Positions-Shirt!"

Thank god my Jake was back – he was already getting on my nerves.

"You've got to talk to him, Bella. You have to find out how he feels, and let him know how you feel. I know it seems crazy – believe me – but an attraction like that doesn't come along every day. That's how it was with Sam and me. I went out one night to New Moon and saw him standing in a corner, talking to Quil. I didn't know who he was, but I just felt this _pull_ toward him. I flashed the fake ID, threw back a couple of shots, and just went for it."

"Jake, that's crazy."

"I know, right? But seriously, we've been together ever since. There was no 'getting to know you' period. We just jumped right in. It's been amazing, Bells. He's everything I've always needed, but didn't even know that I wanted. I have a sneaking suspicion that this Edward douche-bag is going to be the same way for you."

"Yeah, he is a douche."

"He's scared, Bella. From what you've told me, he's never been able to trust anyone. He was tortured as a kid because he was different. I'd be willing to bet that the only reason anyone ever befriended him was to get something from him. I mean, with money like the Cullens have, that's bound to happen. It probably started with guys wanting to be his friend so they could play with all the cool toys, and worked its way up to girls wanting to date him so they could go to all the fancy parties."

"Yeah, I see what you mean – but Alice said that he was a loner when he was younger – that he never had any friends."

"That just means he had 'em all figured out ahead of time, Bells. You've gotta figure out a way to show him that you're different – because you _are._"

"Thanks, Jay-Jay," I responded. I poked him in the ribs, trying to lighten the mood by calling him by his childhood nickname.

"You're welcome, Smella Bella," he replied.

Jake pulled me into his arms and held me tight, silently reassuring me that the world hadn't turned upside down.

* * *

Thanks, as always, to ThatPanicGirlE!

Please review and let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

They say it's better to give than to recieve...so I'm giving you an update :)

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own a tacky Christmas sweater, and because I'm Southern, I actually wear it.

* * *

Chapter 10

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention?" Siobhan yelled across the room of noisy dancers. We had just finished our character class and everyone was engaged in conversation as we changed shoes. At the sound of her voice, the room grew silent.

"This will only take a moment," she said. "I would like to announce that The Academy of Dance will be working in partnership with the DePaul School of Music in the upcoming month. What this means for you is that we will be holding auditions. This will be a public performance."

Excitement began to creep through the room as people began to whisper to one another.

"Ok, settle down! More information will be posted soon. Participation is voluntary. However, you may want to note that members of the Company will be judging auditions. This would be a wonderful opportunity to showcase your talents for them." With that, Siobhan turned and headed out the door.

The room exploded with noise as people began talking. Alice was literally bouncing with excitement.

"An audition! Oh Bella, this is going to be great! Do you think I'll get a solo? Oh I hope so! I can't believe they're working with DePaul! I wonder if Edward has heard. I wonder if…"

"Edward?" I asked, trying to sound non-chalant.

"He goes to DePaul, Bella. I didn't tell you that?" she asked.

"I guess not," I replied.

"Come on," she said, pulling me out of the room. "We'll talk about this after partnering class. You have your little bag this time, right?"

"Yes, Mom," I replied, rolling my eyes. "I hid it in the bottom of my purse so no one would find it."

Alice had been very understanding when I told her that I had gone home early Sunday because I didn't feel well. She hadn't asked if my departure had anything to do with Edward, so I assumed that he hadn't been there when she had gotten home.

Victoria had been noticeably absent from the loft on Sunday as well. I wasn't as fortunate on Monday. She had been sitting in the living room, watching _Bridezillas_ when I came in. I headed to my room, not wanting to have to speak to her, but she wasn't going to let me off that easily.

"So, roomie, did you have fun on your pity weekend with Alice Cullen?" she sneered, her face still turned toward the television.

"I had a nice time, yes," I answered.

"That's good. Too bad she only hangs out with you because she feels sorry for you. I don't know what's more pathetic, Becca; the way you've become so cozy with Esme's daughter, or the way you fawn all over Jay the gay."

That was it. It was one thing for Victoria to direct her evil at me, but I wasn't going to let Jake be dragged into it. In fact, after the sob-fest that we had shared the day before, I felt a new sense of empowerment. Jake had inspired me. He was brave enough to be honest with me about his life; it was time for me to be brave with Victoria.

"It's _Bella_," I said. "And for the record, _Jacob_ and I have been friends for a very long time. I am not fawning all over him. So before you start making judgments, _roomie,_ get your facts straight. As for Alice, I had no idea that she was Esme's daughter before this weekend. Unlike you, I don't befriend people solely based on what they have to offer me. I do, however, know a jealous _bitch_ when I see one – and that's exactly what I'm looking at right now, _Vicky."_

She whipped around on the couch, facing me. Her eyes were narrowed, her jaw clenched. I'd never been more afraid of anyone in my entire life. She looked like she was ready to eat me alive.

"Watch your mouth, Swan," she said through clenched teeth.

I went to bed with my bedroom door locked.

The next morning when I finally emerged from my room, I checked for any sign of Victoria. Luckily, she had already left for the day. I showered quickly and headed to class.

Classes flew by, punctuated by the posting of the audition information. There were only going to be two group pieces, one partner piece, and two solo pieces in the performance. We would audition with our own choreography. The music for our performances would be provided by students of DePaul, who would be going through a similar audition process.

When the day was done, I didn't want to go back to the loft. I was terrified that Victoria would have my clothes on the sidewalk, or at least shredded beyond repair. I considered asking Alice if I could stay with her again, but decided against it. That would just be uncomfortable. I also thought about asking Jake, but I knew he needed some time to get used to me knowing about his relationship; so that option was out as well.

As I walked toward the loft, the wind picked up and I pulled my hoodie up over my head. Tucking my chin to my chest, I was watching only my feet as I made my way down the sidewalk.

I should know better.

"Oof!" I grunted as I ran into someone. "Sorry," I mumbled, not looking up.

"Bella?" a familiar voice said.

I looked up. Esme Cullen stood before me, smiling.

"Bella, dear, are you ok?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," I replied, blushing. "I'm sorry I ran into you, I wasn't paying attention."

"I see that, dear," she said, smiling. "Are you sure you're ok? You look a bit, scared."

"Oh no, I'm just on my way home. Long day at class and all," I lied. I was scared - scared to death of going back to that awful loft with my awful roommate.

"Bella dear, I'm a mother. I know scared when I see it. What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothing, Esme, I promise. I'm just tired."

"Well, I suppose I'll have to take you at your word. Listen, I'm having dinner at my home on Wednesday night. Would you like to come? I'm sure Alice would love to have you there."

"Um, sure," I replied.

"Wonderful! I'll set an extra place for you. Dress comfortably dear, no need in getting all dolled up."

"Ok."

"And Bella?" she asked. "You would let me know if anything was wrong, right? I know that you don't have any family near. I just want you to know that you can always come to me if you need anything – anything at all."

"Thank you, Esme," I said. "But really, everything is fine."

"Have a nice night, dear," she smiled, reaching out to put an arm around my shoulders.

"I will, thanks. You too."

The rational, scared part of me wanted to run to Esme and beg her to take me back to her house, far away from Victoria and whatever sinister plans she may have up her sleeve. The irrational, 'put-on-your-big-girl-panties-and-suffer-through-it' part of me wanted to just go to the loft and get whatever was waiting for me there over with.

Unfortunately, the irrational side won.

I unlocked the door to the loft, and poked my head inside before entering. The lights were off, and it was very dark. I sat my bag down gently, trying not to make any noise. I ran my hand along the wall, searching for the light switch. When I switched it on, I breathed a sigh of relief – the living room and kitchen were empty. As far as I could tell, Victoria wasn't in the loft.

I picked up my bag and headed to my room. As I opened the door, the light suddenly came on, and I dropped my bag and screamed.

"You lied to me!" Alice yelled. She was standing by the wall her arms folded across her chest.

My knees almost buckled at the sound of her voice. I was sure Victoria was waiting for me with a butcher knife. Alice, I could handle. _Maybe._

"What do mean I lied to you, Alice?"

"You said you didn't feel well, and that's why you left, but it wasn't! You left because of my brother!"

"Alice, I-I-I don't know what you're talking about. How'd you get in here?" I said.

"I know people, but that's beside the point," she said. "I call bullshit, Swan!" she yelled again, turning to sit down on my bed. "I know my brother did something to you. I know he made you leave."

_Did something to me, indeed._

"Alice, really, it's nothing. I just needed to come home, ok? Why don't we go get some dinner or something?"

"Don't try to change the subject, Bella. Why are you lying for him? What did he say to you?"

"He didn't say anything, really."

"Then what did he _do? _Because he told me that you two 'didn't see eye to eye on some things' and that's why you bolted._"_

_What did he do? The better question, Alice, is what didn't he do?_

I started to blush at my thoughts.

"Bella! You're blushing! Cut the shit, sit down, and tell me what happened."

Was I ready to do this? No.

Did I want to do this? No.

Was I going to do this? Probably, because I was afraid Alice would kick my ass if I didn't.

"Alice, I really don't know where to start. It's all so weird." I said.

"Just start at the part where he pissed you off, so I can go home and slice off his junk."

"There's more to it than that, Alice," I replied, my face growing redder by the second.

"Well then, start at the beginning. Start from the point where I left you Saturday night to go to New Moon with Jasper."

So I did just that. I started with Saturday night, and didn't stop until I got to Sunday afternoon. It was funny how, once I started, I couldn't stop.

Was it weird telling Alice that I kissed her brother? Yes.

Was it weird telling Alice what had happened later that night? Yes.

Was it weird telling Alice how I thought I was beginning to feel? No, because there was no way in hell I was telling her that.

Alice just sat there, staring at me like I had something growing out of my face. I was beginning to get nervous, and I wondered if she was going to tell me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Finally, she took a deep breath, and started to speak.

"Bella, let me get this straight. My brother, King Asshole of Asshole Island, not only made out with you like a ninth grader, but also attempted to carry on a conversation with you?"

"Something like that," was all I could say.

"Bella, don't you see how awesome this is? He _likes _you! He must, I mean, why else would he try to talk to you?"

"Gee, Alice, maybe because I let him get all the way to third base without even taking me for dinner?"

"True," she said. "But seriously, this is huge. I know I sound absolutely crazy, but just give me some time. First, I'm going to make him apologize for being, well, himself. After that, who knows?"

"Yeah, who knows?"

"Thank you, Bella. Thanks for telling me. I know it had to be beyond odd for you to let all of this out in the open, but I promise you won't regret it. Just promise me something too, ok?"

"Anything, Alice."

"Promise me you'll give him a chance to make this good. He's never opened up to anyone. You're good for him, Bell. You're too good for him, actually."

I didn't say anything, because I wasn't sure there was anything to say.

"Okay doll, I have to go now. Jasper is making me dinner at his place. I'll see you tomorrow, but if you need anything in the mean time, you can call me."

"Thanks, Alice."

With that, Alice got up and walked to the door, turning around to look at me as she put her hand on the doorknob.

"And Bella…" she started. "Don't let that trifling whore of a roommate you have get you down. I've got your back."

"Alice, I have no idea what most of that means, but thanks. I think."

I'm not sure if it was while I was speaking, or just after I finished that the world came to a complete stop. As Alice opened the door to my room, I looked past her to see Victoria standing in the door frame, her hand on her hip.

"Hello, Alice," she said, her voice dripping with sweetness.

"Goodbye, bitch," Alice replied, walking past her without making eye contact.

She stood there in my doorway, glaring at me. I was like a deer caught in headlights –I knew I should probably run, but I was too stupid to do so. As soon as the front door swung closed and clicked, a smile played across her lips and she began to speak.

"So, roomie, it's not enough for you to be all buddy-buddy with Alice Cullen. Now you're fucking her brother, too? No wonder you have a scholarship."

"It's not like that, you don't know what you're talking about," I said. My eyes were wide and the heat radiating from my face was intense enough to grill a steak on.

"Whatever, Bella," she said, turning to walk away.

Well, at least she got my name right this time.

**

The alarm on my phone went off Wednesday morning, and I was thankful that Victoria hadn't killed me in the middle of the night. I dreaded going to classes. What if she told everyone? What would I do?

I got out of bed and headed for the shower. As the hot water pounded down on me, my mind raced with all the what-if's. I could only imagine the stares and the whispers that I would have to endure today.

When I reached the Joffrey building, I took a deep breath and braced myself for the drama I was about to encounter. I prayed that I could get to Alice or Jake before the madness started.

Surprisingly, no one even looked at me twice. I was sure that Victoria would have told everyone she knew about what she heard as she stood outside my door the night before; but it seemed as if she hadn't. Relief washed over me. Classes went on without a hitch.

In Siobhan's class, Alice and I listened intently as our instructor told us about the audition process we would be going through next week. First, we would audition as a group; then each group would be narrowed down until there were five groups of four. Anyone planning on auditioning for a solo would have to make it to the final round of group cuts first. Alice bounced excitedly at my side.

"You're so going to get a solo," she whispered.

"I'm not sure if I want one," I whispered back.

"What? Of course you do! Everyone does."

"You know if I get one, Victoria will tell everyone that the reason I got it is because I'm friends with the Cullen family."

"Oh shut up," she said, getting louder. "She'll do no such thing. If she does, she'll be put in her place faster than she can say 'I'm a jealous whore.'"

I giggled at her reply.

"Oh," she whispered again, "Mom says she invited you for dinner. Meet me at my place at four thirty. You can get dressed there. I'll call you and tell you what to bring."

"Ok," I said, as Siobhan continued with her speech.

The rest of the day flew by. I was so relieved that Victoria hadn't outed me to the entire school that I wasn't even nervous about going to Alice's later. I had a feeling I wouldn't be running into Edward after what Alice had said in my room.

After the day was done, I walked back to the loft to shower and get my things together. I had seen Victoria at the Academy, talking with her friends when I left, so I knew she wouldn't be there to harass me.

I went in, took a quick shower and threw on some sweats. I grabbed my phone and called Alice.

"What's up, Slutty McSwan?" she answered.

"Cute, Alice, really cute," I said. "I'm calling to see what I'm supposed to bring to your house."

"Oh yeah," she said. "Bring that blue dress, your black leggings and long-sleeved tee, and the tall brown boots. I think I have everything else here."

"The dress again, Alice?" I questioned.

"Yes, the dress again, Bella," she quipped. "I told you I was going to show you how to wear it. That color looks fantabulous on you. Don't ask questions, just pack up your shit and come on."

"Yes, Miss Alice," I said as I hung up.

I threw all the items into a large bag except the brown boots. I decided to just wear them. Granted, they didn't look all that great with my sweats, but I was just going to Alice's, so I didn't care.

When I arrived at Alice's apartment, she was already dressed. She wore skinny jeans paired with a long green sweater. Her makeup and accessories were perfect.

"Your Mom said to dress comfortably, Alice."

"Jeans and a sweater? It doesn't get much more comfortable than that, Bella. Besides, I don't think WalMart sweats paired with Madden boots was quite what she had in mind."

"Shut up," I replied.

She pulled me into her room and instructed me as to how to layer my dress over my black shirt and pants. Then she accessorized me with a long necklace and a belt before dragging me to the bathroom to do my hair.

In forty minutes, I looked like a completely different person.

The drive out to the Cullen home seemed shorter this time. Alice and I chatted about Jake, and she told me that she couldn't believe that I didn't know about him and Sam until he told me. She said that the first night she'd seen them out at New Moon, she'd known. I asked her how, when I obviously knew Jake better than she did.

"It was the way he looked at Sam," she said. "He'd never acted in any way to make me think that he played for the other team; but when I saw him stealing glances at Sam at the club, it was obvious. There's a look that people get in their eyes when they're in love that's unmistakable. That's the way Jake and Sam look at each other. It's the way I see Jasper look at me."

"Wow, I guess I need to be more observant," I said.

"I really think you should work on that, too, Bella."

We were quiet the rest of the drive, which was a miracle considering who I was riding with. When we finally made it up the winding path to the Cullen house, there were more cars in the driveway than I expected. A red sports car, an enormous black box of a vehicle that was as tall as the garage door, and a silver Volvo. I only knew it was a Volvo because it was the same kind of that Miss Mimi back in Forks drove.

"Well, look at that," Alice said, smiling. "The gang's all here."

"The gang?" I questioned.

"The whole family, duh. Wednesday night is family night. Usually Emmett and Rose are late, but they beat me here this time."

"The _whole_ family, Alice?"

"That's what I said, let's go."

And with that, Alice was out of the car, skipping like a five year old up to the front door.

This time, Dr. Cullen answered the bell. He smiled warmly as he welcomed us in. Esme was sitting in the living room, talking to who I recognized from the photos as Rosalie and Emmett. Edward was nowhere to be seen.

_Thank you, sweet baby Jesus._

"So good to see you again, Bella," Dr. Cullen said.

"You too, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, dear, call me Carlisle. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thanks," I replied. I had taken extra care with my feet this week, and they were starting to feel much, much better.

We walked into the living room and Esme turned to welcome us.

"Alice, Bella, hello! Bella, thank you so much for coming."

"Thank you for having me."

"Emmett, Rose, come meet Bella. She's one of our scholarship recipients and a friend of Alice's."

"Nice to meet you," said Emmett. He held his hand out and I did the same. As he shook it, my hand was lost inside his huge grasp.

"Hi," said Rosalie. Her voice was much more girlish than I expected it to be. She didn't offer her hand, but smiled at me sweetly.

"Well, now that we're all here and everyone has been properly introduced, let's eat, shall we?" said Esme, motioning for us toward the dining room.

I waited for Alice to show me where I should sit. I had a feeling that a family like the Cullens probably had their own seats at the table. I wasn't wrong. Alice pointed to a seat beside the head of the table, stating that it was the 'place of honor' and that all guests sat there. I pulled out my chair and took my place, watching to see how the others would arrange themselves.

Emmett sat at the far end of the table with Rosalie to his left. Alice took a seat between Rosalie and me. Carlisle sat beside me at the head of the table, and Esme took her seat at the opposite end. There were two seats that were still empty in front of me and Alice.

"Where's your honky-tonk man tonight, Allie-boo?" asked Emmett.

"He couldn't come. He's working on his solo piece for his audition. It's a lot harder for the guys than it is for us. They're so used to just throwing us around to make themselves look good, that when it comes to going it alone, they always have to put in the extra effort."

"Yeah," replied Emmett. "I know what you mean. It a lot harder for me to go it alone; I'd much rather throw Rose around."

"Emmett Cullen! That will be enough!" exclaimed Esme as she reached over to slap him in the back of the head.

"Making inappropriate dinner banter already, big brother?" a voice said from behind me.

_Suck it up, Swan. You knew he was going to be here._

Edward made his way around the table, stopping to kiss his mother on the cheek. He never looked my way. As he sat down directly across from me, Esme stood up. She headed to the kitchen and came back in with an enormous bowl of fruit. Then she made another trip, this time sitting a huge silver-domed serving tray in the middle of the table. She then took her seat again, and Carlisle stood to remove the cover from the dish.

Edward rolled his eyes. Emmett snickered. Carlisle sighed. Rosalie went back to staring at nothing against the back wall. Carlisle began doling out portions as Alice began passing around the fruit.

We were having a simple dinner of chicken salad and fruit. I looked at Alice, quirking an eyebrow.

"It's all-ay she ows-knay how to ake-may," she whispered in partial pig latin.

I giggled into my napkin.

"Don't worry, Emmett usually orders a pizza when he gets here. They'll deliver it to the back door in an hour or so."

"Alice…" Carlisle said in warning.

We went back to eating, the conversation swirling around us. Rosalie's business was starting to shift from bridal to corporate as wedding season began to wind down. She was excited to have weekends free again. Emmett's football team at the high school was undefeated, and they were looking forward to the play-offs in a few weeks.

Alice told the family about our auditions, and how excited she was that the Academy would be working closely with DePaul. When Emmett asked if Alice was going to try-out for the performance, she told him that she and I were both auditioning. Esme turned her attention toward her youngest son.

"Edward, dear," she started, "are you going to present your work? I was under the impression that the DePaul students had already been selected for this performance after the Young Composer's competition."

"Yes, mother," he replied, looking up at Esme. "The winners for that competition were selected, but there are only going to be five slots in the program, and there were seven winners. Garrett Lovinsky dropped out – he has horrible stage fright – so the remaining six of us will audition to see who gets cut."

"And you've been practicing fervently, I'm sure?" questioned his mom.

"Of course; although I have had my hands in a few other projects lately," he said, glancing my way.

My. Face. Was. Red.

"Um, excuse me." I said.

I practically ran to the bathroom. Once inside, I locked the door and slid down the wall, curling up into a ball and hugging my knees. _What was he doing? Trying to get a reaction from me?_

I decided that the only way to deal with this was to face it head on. After all, it wasn't like I was going to stop being friends with Alice, or stop associating with the Cullens for that matter, just because Edward was being a prick. I stood up, checked my reflection in the mirror, took a few deep breaths, and opened the door. Alice was standing outside the bathroom, waiting for me.

"I'm going to fucking _kill_ him," she said.

She took my hand and led me back into the living room. We sat on the couch as the rest of the family began to file in, one by one.

Emmett took a seat on a large recliner across from us. He leaned over, studying me for a moment.

"Bella, I have to ask," he said, "do I know you from somewhere?"

"No," I answered, looking down at my shoes.

"Are you sure? You look so familiar."

"I just moved here when the new semester started. I haven't been out much."

"There's just something about your face," he said.

Alice looked at me. Suddenly, her face lit up with some strange emotion – understanding? She looked back toward Emmett as Edward entered the room. She looked back and forth between me and Edward, then back over to Emmett.

Quickly, Emmett had the same look on his face.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed. "Edward, bro, Bella looks just like your painting lady! Did you realize that? It's like, _uncanny_ the resemblance! Dude, that's fucked up!"

Edward stole a glance at me, and then looked back at his brother.

"Shut up, Emmett," he said. He turned and headed toward the stairs.

I looked at Alice, my eyes wide with shock. I remembered the conversation I'd shared with Esme when she was giving me the tour of her home.

"_Edward loves that painting," Esme started. "He saw it at the market downtown when he was thirteen. He took all the money he had been saving from his paper route and bought it. When he began playing the piano, he would to stare at it as he composed. I always thought that it was his muse." _

"Alice," I said, my voice shaking. "I really need to get back. Can we go?"

"Sure, sweetie," she said. She patted my leg as if to say that she understood, and stood up.

"What?!" Emmett gasped. "You can't leave Allie-boo! Pizza will be here any minute, and I haven't even kicked your ass on the Wii yet!"

"It's ok, Emmie," Alice responded. "There's always next week. It really is sad that you still boost your ego by beating your little sister at a video game. Most would find it sadder that the video game is American Idol karaoke."

"Easy, trigger," said Rosalie, walking in behind us with Esme. "You know how my man loves belting out Beyonce's _Single_ _Ladies_."

Esme wasn't ready for us to leave, but Alice made up a story about us having an early rehearsal for auditions the next day. She thanked me for coming and hugged us goodbye.

As we walked out to the car, both Alice and I were quiet. I wasn't quite sure what to say. Hell, I wasn't sure what to think. Had Edward acted like he had toward me because I reminded him of a painting? Did he have some sort of sick idea that I was his muse? My head was spinning as I considered the possibilities. I'd never felt so sad, so small, so used.

"Bella," Alice said, her voice soft.

"Yes?"

"I just want to tell you…When Edward got that painting, it was before he could hear. He would sit and stare at it for hours. Emmett and I gave him so much hell over it. Then, when he began writing his music, we knew that the painting was part of his inspiration. I knew for sure that it was, because he told me so. It was one of the few conversations that we had during that time."

"Really?" I asked. "But why me, Alice? Does he think I look like her? Is he trying to fulfill some twisted fantasy by making out with me, thinking I'm his painted lady?"

"I don't know, Bella. It's weird. The day that he talked to me about that painting, he seemed so sad. He told me that there was something about the woman's eyes that haunted him. He said that she was just as sad as he was – that he understood that she didn't fit in either. I laughed at him. Then he said that he knew he was going to meet her one day. What kind of thirteen year-old says crazy shit like that? To top it all off, he said – and I'll never forget, he said – 'I'll find her, Alice, and when I do I'll make her mine.'"

* * *

All I want for Christmas are REVIEWS. Will you stuff my stocking?


	11. Chapter 11

So, yeah, it's the holidays...2 updates in 2 days? Why the hell not?

Disclaimer: I own one hell of a gift bag collection. Too bad everyone wanted big gifts this year and I've got to wrap it all anyway. SM owns Twilight and probably has her own personal elves to wrap gifts for her.

* * *

Chapter 11

I was exhausted. As I entered the loft that night, all I wanted to do was to lie down in my bed and try to forget that the whole night had ever happened. My mind was whirling with thoughts about Edward and what Alice had said.

"_To top it all off, he said – and I'll never forget, he said – 'I'll find her, Alice, and when I do I'll make her mine.'"_

_What the hell was that supposed to mean?_ I wondered.

Thankfully, my insane roommate was already in bed when I got home. I shrugged out of my clothes and put on my pajamas. As I crawled into bed, I prayed that I would sleep peacefully, dreamlessly.

Prayer answered.

I woke up feeling refreshed and began preparing for the day. After showering and packing my bag, I headed out the door. I enjoyed the silence as I walked to the Joffrey building alone. I knew that it would be the only peace I would have today.

Technique class had a calming effect on me. I had finally perfected the half-hour barre routine, and I immersed myself in the familiarity of it. _Plie, demi-plie, tondue…_ Each exercise stretched my muscles and relaxed my mind. When class was finished, I felt whole.

The rest of the day was equally as soothing, especially partnering class. Jake and I had been working on a piece from Sleeping Beauty. When we finally stuck the lift that we had been working on last week, I was elated.

"That was amazing, Bella!" Jake exclaimed.

I blushed and hugged him, thanking him for not giving up on me.

Alice met me after class so that we could practice for our upcoming auditions. We had agreed to critique each other's choreography, and I was looking forward to seeing what she had come up with. We walked to an empty rehearsal room, chatting along the way about the music we had selected. When she told me that she had chosen a variation from Don Quixote, I laughed.

"I know it's a little different," she said, "but stick with me."

I nodded. If anyone could pull this off – it was Alice.

As she danced across the floor, looking more like an elf on crack than a ballerina, I giggled to myself. I suggested that she tone it down, just a bit, and she reworked a few steps until they were to both of our liking.

Then, it was my turn. I put the CD into the player and took my position in the middle of the floor. As the first strains of music began to permeate the room, Alice's eyes grew wide.

"The second act of Romeo and Juliet?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. I suddenly realized the significance of the song.

"It was from a recital piece that I did a year ago. I've always loved it, and I thought I should dance what I knew."

"It's perfect," Alice replied. She smiled sweetly and motioned for me to continue.

I danced the familiar steps, trying not to be self-conscious of the fact that Alice was the only person watching me. For some reason, it's always harder for me to dance in front of people I know.

When I was finished, Alice just sat there, her expression not changing.

"Well?" I asked, tentatively.

"Perfection, Bella. It's easy to see why you're here. You should be a member of the company already."

"Oh, stop!" I said, blushing.

"Seriously! That was amazing! I'm jealous. Now I see why Victoria hates you."

"What?"

"Bella, really, it's as plain as the nose on my face. You have a gift, my friend. Not only was your technique flawless, but the emotion that you conveyed took my breath away."

I didn't know what to say. I really hadn't been trying to convey any emotion; I was more focused on the choreography today.

"Let's go to my place," Alice said.

"I really don't think that's a great idea, Al," I said. "I've had a pretty great day, and I just want to go home and relax."

"He's not there," she replied.

"Oh," I said, blushing again.

"And even if he was, Bella, I wouldn't let him be rude to you. We had a long talk last night. Well, _I_ had a long talk last night. It was more like a lecture than a discussion. I told him that you and I are friends and that he is not going to ruin that. I also told him to stop being a social retard. If he likes you, he needs to tell you, not pull your hair and run away like a six-year-old."

"He didn't pull my hair, Alice," I said. I was staring at the floor, trying not to get upset.

"I know, silly," she replied. "What he did was a lot worse. He took advantage of you, Bella. And I know you might not see it that way, but he did. He was so caught up in himself, as usual, that he didn't even bother to ask you if he could kiss you; much less do everything else he did."

"Alice, can we not….?" I trailed off. I really didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"Sure, I'll leave it alone. But please, come over? Jasper is coming over, too. I really just want to spend some time with my two favorite people."

How could I resist an invitation like that?

**

Two hours later, I was sitting at the island in Alice's kitchen laughing hysterically at Jasper's impersonation of Jane. He was laughing just as hard as Alice and I were, and gasping for air as he tried to speak.

"Seriously, y'all, I can't stand the way she scrunches her eyes up at people! She looks like Stewie from Family Guy when he's mad at his momma!"

"Stop!" gasped Alice. "You have to stop! I'm going to piss myself laughing!"

Jasper ignored her request and just kept going. He mimicked everyone we knew – Jake and Victoria included. My stomach hurt and I had tears running down my face by the time he was done.

"Alice, no wonder you stay so little. You get a full workout with this guy around," I said.

"I sure do," she replied, wagging her eyebrows.

"Oh, shut up! You two are so perfect – and everybody knows that you're so happy. You don't have to rub it in!"

"I'm not rubbing it in, Bella. Besides, I wasn't the one who brought it up. You're going to find it one day too, sweetie. I know it. I _feel_ it," Alice said. She wrapped her arms around Jasper's waist and put her head on his chest.

"She's right, darlin'," agreed Jasper. "We just got lucky to find it so soon, 'sall."

"Yeah, yeah," I said. "Well lovebirds, while discussing my nonexistent love life is fun and all, I think I'm going to hit the sack. If we're getting up early, I've got to get some sleep."

"I'm going to retire, myself," said Jasper. He leaned down and kissed the top of Alice's head.

"Alright, you party poopers," sighed Alice. "If we have to be all responsible and shit then I guess I'll hit the hay, too. I'll walk you to the door, baby."

As the two of them headed to the entryway, I turned toward the hall. My bag was on the dresser, and I made quick work of putting on my pajamas and climbing into bed. I knew that Alice and Jasper's "closing ceremonies," as she liked to call them, could take a while. I was hoping to be asleep before she was finished; I didn't want to talk anymore tonight.

_Arabesque…battement…triple piourette...Once again I was dancing. This time, the stage was more brightly lit than I could ever remember it being. The music from the orchestra swelled, then stopped. I was lightly jumping to the sound of only a piano. The notes were like gossamer, swirling through the auditorium in a heartbreaking melody. Slowly, methodically, they began to dim. The music became lonely, sad – then frustrated – and once again melancholic. _

_I tried to keep up with its complexity. _

_All at once, the music stopped. The stage lights when out. I fell._

I sat straight up in bed, gasping for air. The music in my dream had seemed so real yet, as I became aware of my surroundings, there was only silence. No beautiful music was drifting to me from the living room tonight. Relieved and disappointed, I laid my head back on the pillow and willed myself back to sleep.

It felt like I had only just closed my eyes again when the alarm on my phone sounded. I reached over and grabbed it to turn it off, mumbling to myself about being a glutton for punishment. I should have never listened to Alice when she suggested an early practice session. Begrudgingly, I threw the covers off myself and swung my legs around to the side of the bed. Yawning as I stretched, I tried to work all of the tightness from my neck and shoulders before getting completely up.

When I was satisfied with the fact that I was completely awake (or dissatisfied, as it were), I stood up and turned to retrieve my bag from the dresser. It wasn't in my plan to take a shower this morning – I'd taken two the day before and I was about to go get sweaty anyway.

Walking toward the dresser, I stepped on a piece of paper on the carpet. It slid a bit under my foot and almost caused me to fall. I reached down to grab it, and seeing what it was, immediately dropped it.

An ecru envelope – it seemed harmless enough. My name was written across the front in beautiful script, almost calligraphy. But on the back was a small black monogram:

EAC

Edward.

With shaking hands, I picked it back up. I gently ran my finger along the seal of the envelope, and then slid out the heavy paper inside. Unfolding it, I sat on the edge of the bed and began to read.

_Bella,_

_I'm not quite sure where to begin. I suppose the most logical choice would be to apologize for my behavior Wednesday night at my parent's home. I wasn't expecting you to be Alice's guest, and I hadn't prepared myself to deal with your presence. The snide comment I made at dinner was reprehensible, and for that, I am truly sorry._

_For what it's worth – I never meant to cause you any harm. My worst fear is that I have turned you away from me and, that from here on out, you will avoid being near me. I pray that this is not the case. Perhaps if I try to explain why I acted as I did on Sunday, you will understand. If you don't, far be it from me to try to change your mind._

_I assume by now that Alice has given you some insight into what the first fifteen years of my life were like. I should say, she has given you her side of the story at least. Who I am now has a great deal to do with my handicap. _

_As a child, I was never afforded the simple luxury of hearing my friends yell for me down the street. I never heard my dog bark. I was never soothed by the sound of my mother singing me back to sleep after a bad dream. Don't get me wrong – this letter is not meant to illicit your pity. These are just details that you may find have some bearing on who I have become. _

_As I grew, I fully understood that my brother and sister were totally normal. They had many friends – Alice was very outgoing and popular, and Emmett was the captain of any team he ever joined. I was always happy for them, but sad for myself. No one, especially when you're a child, wants to be friends with the "different" kid. As I'm sure my sister has told you, I spent most of my young life either in a hospital or therapy clinic, or in my room reading. The few "friends" that I did make during those years were transient at best. _

_Most children would befriend me because they were told they had to – having a link to the Cullen family meant a great deal to their parents. I was a pawn in their game. As soon as my newfound playmates started getting teased for keeping company with me, they would stop showing up to play. As I grew older, my classmates kept my acquaintance to find out more about my brother, whom they worshipped; or my sister, whom they lusted after. As for me – they didn't care._

_When I was fifteen, I was granted a miracle and my hearing was restored. In my childish mind, I thought this would mean an instant change in my life. I assumed that I would be able to be "normal" and that I would have friends and do things the same way I had seen my siblings do for so many years. I was sadly mistaken. No one, it seems, wants to be friends with a freak. _

_When I found music, I fell in love. My compositions are friends that I can mold to be whatever I choose. If I am sad – they comfort me. If I am happy – they rejoice with me. They were my life for the years leading up to now. _

_The first day I laid eyes on you, Bella, I knew there was something different about you. The look of wonder in your eyes as you took in everything around you was a breath of fresh air for me. Yes, I admit, you reminded me of a piece of artwork that I purchased when I was still hearing impaired. In my childish mind, that painting was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. For everything I couldn't hear – she couldn't say. _

_When I saw you in the rehearsal room the day that you were hurt, I was angry with you for not noticing me before you did. Was I just as invisible to you as I am to everyone else? I had hoped that our first meeting would be much different. _

_Then, to make matters worse, Alice wanted to play nurse with you all weekend and have you stay here. When I saw you later that night, I knew I had to try to make amends. _

_Regretfully, I ended up taking advantage of your beautiful trustworthiness. I acted irrationally the next night – not knowing what to say – afraid that if I said too much you would go away just like everyone else had. So, instead of talking, instead of trying to tell you how you make me feel, I tried to show you. I wanted nothing more that night than to convey to you the euphoria I feel when I am in your presence. _

_I hope you will forgive me for my forwardness; and subsequently, my thoughtlessness the next day when you tried to talk to me. I realize now that you were simply trying to get to know me, and allow me to know you, and I ruined that by becoming a possessive monster – jealous of your dance partner for no reason at all._

_Bella, please, find it in your heart to forgive me. I am not asking for your response, or for you to agree to see me, or talk to me if you are not comfortable doing so. Though I would be lying if I didn't say that hearing your voice or seeing you smile again would make me the happiest man on earth. I beg you, forgive me. Let me show you – somehow, someway – that I am not a monster._

_With a burdened heart, I am, _

_Sincerely,_

_Edward Cullen_

_**_

Practice very early in the morning usually has one of two outcomes. Either I become energized and inspired for the rest of the day, or I am worn out by lunch and ready to crawl in a hole by quitting time. Today was definitely the latter. Not so much because of the actual practice, more because of the sob fest I'd had after reading Edward's letter this morning.

My heart was broken for him. Sure, I had been an outcast of sorts -the clumsy dancer girl – but nothing like he had experienced. His words were so moving, so sincere, that I didn't see how I couldn't forgive him. After all, it was obvious that he did not have much experience communicating with people; he'd never been given the chance. Some of the things that he had alluded to did pose some questions, though. It seemed as though Edward had seen me long before I had seen him. Then there was the whole 'my music is my life' part. If his music meant so much to him, why did he care what I thought?

Throughout the day I found myself reaching to the bottom of my bag to feel the letter there. It was as if I was afraid that it would vanish into thin air. Worse yet – I was afraid that I would lose it and it would fall into the wrong hands. I could only imagine what would happen if Victoria saw it. I also found that it was strangely calming to run my fingers across the ink on the pages; somehow coming in contact with Edward through his words.

I knew I would have to talk to him.

With my day behind me, I left the Joffrey building in a hurry. I walked quickly, partially to avoid Alice, mostly to get home before Victoria. I wanted to find a place to hide the letter so that she couldn't find it, even if she went through my things.

Then the idea hit me that I should probably just dispose of it. After all, I basically had the words memorized by now. I could just throw it away in one of the many city dumpsters and no one would ever know the difference. That way I could never be tortured by Victoria about it.

The thought of losing the paper that he had so carefully written to me on made my heart ache.

_But if I forgive him…talk to him,_ I thought, _that will be so much better than a piece of paper._

I reached down to the bottom of my bag and pulled out the letter. My chest tightened as I crossed the sidewalk toward the large blue trash can. I stood there, debating on whether or not I should go through with this crazy idea. Just as I was about to let it drop into the pile of debris, I heard the one voice I never expected to hear.

"What are you doing?"

I looked up to see Edward, standing before me. His green eyes were bloodshot and swollen, but the intensity that they held in that moment was surreal.

"I-I was just…" I stammered.

"You were what? Discarding it? Removing it from your life? Was I not sincere enough, Bella?"

"No! I just…I thought that…I…"

"Thought what, exactly? That it was a lie? That I must just easily pour my soul onto paper for anyone to see? I'm sorry I wasted the energy on it, then. Have a nice day, Bella."

He moved to walk past me, and the wind kicked up, blowing my hair into my face. He stopped.

The world stopped.

In what seemed like slow motion, his hand raised to brush the unruly strands from my face. I caught my breath and started to speak – tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I didn't know. I believed you. I wanted to talk to you. I didn't want her to see – she would find a way to ruin me with it."

"Her, who?"

"My roommate, Victoria, I knew that if she saw this, she would find a way to hurt me with it. She hates me."

"And you care more about what she thinks than how you feel?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I decided to counter with a question of my own.

"What did you mean, 'from the first time you saw me,' Edward? The first time I ever saw you was in that rehearsal room."

"I think you had just arrived in Chicago." He was smiling now. His hand still rested on my cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears as they fell. "I was walking toward the Joffrey building to pick up some papers for my mother and I saw you step out of a cab. The wind caught you as you emerged from it, and your eyes were so filled with wonder. You were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen."

_From the moment I stepped foot in Chicago? Impossible._

"But in your letter, you said your music was your life. Why would you want to complicate it with something as silly as me?"

"Bella," he sighed, his face becoming softer. His eyes, however, became more intense. "I said my music – my works – were my life up to that point. That point I referred to was when I met you. I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella Swan."

"Then don't," I whispered in reply.

There, in that moment, I knew that my life was never going to be the same. I didn't see myself in a horse drawn carriage, riding toward my happily ever after. What I saw was Edward – and only Edward.

He leaned down, and stopped just inches from my face.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered, his breath warm and sweet against my face.

"Please," I sighed.

His lips touched mine, and the world started revolving again. Only this time, I believe it was in the opposite direction. This kiss was quite unlike our previous kisses. His lips were soft and patient. His hand never left my face, but he reached up the other one to place it on my opposite cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, silently begging him not to stop.

His tongue softly grazed my bottom lip and I opened my mouth in response. He sighed as he softly caressed my tongue with his own, pulling away slowly to kiss my lips once more. Then, he pressed his forehead on mine. I opened my eyes and saw only beautiful green. The corner of his mouth turned up in my favorite crooked smile as he stared at me.

_I'm pretty sure my panties just caught fire._

"Don't be a stranger, Bella."

"I won't," I said.

"I have to go, but may I call you?" he asked.

"Of course," I said. "Do you have your phone? I could put my number in."

"That's okay, beautiful," he said. "I'm in a rush. I have to pick up some paperwork from Joffrey. I'll get it from Alice."

He reached down and took the letter from my hand.

"I'll be glad to take care of this for you," he said. He folded the envelope neatly and slipped it into his jacket pocket.

"Okay," I nodded. I watched as he turned to leave, my head swimming with what had just transpired.

"And Bella?" he said, turning around to look at me once more. "Be safe."

* * *

I'll admit - I LOVED writing that letter from Edward. I might just do a whole damn story about Letters from Edward. Hmmm...

Have you ever gotten a great letter from someone? I have. Once. I still have it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy New Year!**

Happy New Chapter, too!

Enjoy...I hope.

* * *

"Mushroom ravioli, please."

"Make that two."

"Anything else?"

"Privacy – that will be all, thank you."

_Ohmyfreakingsweet babyJesus. I'm on a date with Edward Cullen. For REAL._

My inner eighth-grader was having a field day today. I, Bella inanimate-objects-attack-me-when-I-walk Swan, was having lunch at Petterino's with Edward Cullen. It was not a dream, it was not a fantasy (well, it was, sort of) and I was not having an out-of-body experience. We were both actually in the same restaurant, at the same time, sitting at the same table. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

Ever since Edward and I had encountered each other on the sidewalk Thursday, my brain had been overloaded with new information. First of all, Edward had asked me if he could kiss me. After I said yes (or whatever I said), he actually _did._ Before we parted ways, he had asked my permission to call me. Then, to top it all off, he actually called. Technically, we were texting – but we were communicating without yelling at each other.

I don't think I've ever been so excited to hear the little beep on my phone as I was that Friday.

**Bella?**

The text came from a number that I didn't recognize.

_**Who would like to know?**_

**Edward Cullen. Is this Bella Swan?**

_**Yes, this is Bella. **_

**Wonderful. I was worried that I wouldn't find your number in Alice's phone. She has everyone listed under nicknames.**

_**Really? What was mine?**_

**Blusher.**

_**Appropriate, I suppose.**_

**Lovely is more like it.**

_**Thank you for apologizing. It meant a lot.**_

**I only wish I had done it sooner. **

My heart had swelled in my chest and my breath had caught in my throat. How could someone who had been so rude, so calloused toward me just a few days ago be so charming? The mood swings were giving me whiplash. But, I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't enjoying every minute of it.

My thumbs were sore from all the texting that we had done the past few days. I had been tempted to just call him, but if texting was what he was more comfortable with, I was willing to deal with that. He certainly had a way with words.

I had woken up this morning with no plans except to rehearse. Our auditions were tomorrow, and I was determined to not let my nerves get the best of me. Apparently, I wasn't doing a good job of it, because when my phone beeped a few hours later, I almost jumped out of my skin. I retrieved it from the bedside table and blushed as I read the text.

**Would you care to join me for lunch?**

Edward was asking me to lunch? As in, a lunch _date?_

_**That sounds good. What did you have in mind?**_

**Italian – does that suit you?**

_**Absolutely. Where should I meet you?**_

**I would love to pick you up, if that's okay with you.**

_**Sure, what time?**_

**I'll be at your door in an hour?**

_**Meet me outside the building. Roomie is home.**_

**See you soon, love.**

I had never put so much thought into what I was going to wear. I had no idea where Edward was taking me, but I had a feeling that we weren't heading to Pizza Hut for our Italian feast. The blue dress was calling to me, but I didn't want Edward to think that it was the only thing I owned besides dance gear.

I finally settled on a soft, off-white sweater that Alice had picked out on our shopping trip. I wiggled into the skinny jeans that she approved of, and then slid my feet into my brown boots. I added one of the many necklaces she bought to go with the blue dress. My hair was still damp from the shower, so I ran my fingers through it, separating out the loose waves. I dabbed on a little powder and lip gloss, before I took one last look in the mirror. Not bad.

I walked out of my room to find Victoria lounging on the couch. She was talking on the phone to someone, and she ignored me as I passed her. I grabbed my coat and scarf and headed out, saying a silent prayer of thanks that she had been preoccupied.

On my way out to the street, I tripped twice. My nerves were starting to show, and my equilibrium was being greatly affected by the butterflies in my stomach. I reached the front of the building and stood on the sidewalk, looking for Edward.

I noticed the silver Volvo at the same time I saw his tousled hair emerge from the other side of it.

_He drives the grandma car? _

Any let-down that I had just experienced was immediately rectified when I saw his smiling face. He was breathtaking. He walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door.

"Your chariot awaits, my lady," he said with that crooked smile.

I blushed as I walked toward him.

"Thank you," I said.

"My pleasure; I thought it might be a little too chilly to walk."

He closed the door behind me, and walked around to the driver's side of the car. He slid in beside me, still smiling. As we pulled out into traffic, he began to speak.

"Thank you for agreeing to come with me. I'm going to apologize in advance for the awkwardness. I've never really done this sort of thing before."

_Edward Cullen, god- of –good- looks, has never been on a date? Impossible._

We chatted about the weather and the weekend on the way. When we arrived at the restaurant and Edward once again rushed around the car to open my door, I blushed as he helped me out onto the sidewalk.

We entered the restaurant and the hostess looked at us; obviously ogling Edward while sizing me up. When we reached the table, he helped me out of my jacket and chuckled softly to himself.

"What?" I asked, as I tried to remember whether or not I had put on a bra. I did – thank God.

"We match," he said. He unbuttoned his coat to reveal an off-white sweater that subtly hugged every curve of his surprisingly muscular chest.

"Alice," we both said at the same time, looking at our respective sweaters.

I giggled as we sat down. He recommended a few items from the menu and told me that this was his favorite place in Chicago for Italian food. The conversation seemed to come naturally, and I never felt any of the awkwardness that he had referred to earlier.

I learned that he had been chosen to perform in the Rising Stars show that I was going to be auditioning for tomorrow. I made a mental note to kill Alice for not telling me. Edward explained that each composer's work would be paired by the Board to a dancer that they felt could best convey the feeling of the piece. I was surprised that he felt relieved about that fact.

"It takes the pressure off of us, not having to decide who performs with us," he said.

"Really? I would think that you would want some input on who will be dancing to your music."

"Well, yes and no. While it would be fascinating to see all of the dancers, I feel that it will be much easier for me if I allow someone else to do it for me. I have a very specific inspiration for my composition – anything less than what I have envisioned would be a deterrent for me. This way, the Board takes care of finding the dancer. And I can concentrate solely on my performance that evening."

I was shocked. I wondered what his inspiration was – but I was too chicken to ask. I was afraid of what the answer would be. I wasn't sure what would be worse: the embarrassment if it were me, or the disappointment if it weren't.

"Well, it sounds like you have everything together. I'm still a wreck. I'm so nervous about this audition. In fact, I'll be heading to the Academy to rehearse after we finish here."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes, I have to. I want everything to be perfect."

Our waitress interrupted with our food at that moment, and I was glad for it. Not only was I starving, but I didn't want to talk about the audition anymore. The nerves that I had been fighting all day were starting to resurface, and I didn't want them to ruin my time with Edward.

We ate in amicable silence, relishing in the taste of the food. I think I might have moaned and rolled my eyes at the first bite. It was to die for. Once I was full, I put my fork down and sipped on my Coke.

"Amazing," Edward said, wiping the corner of his mouth with his napkin.

"What?" I asked.

"The pasta, it's amazing."

"Oh," I blushed. Silly girl that I was, I thought maybe he was talking about something else.

"And you," he said, smiling.

I blushed even more. I looked up at him and he was looking at me so intently that I could almost _feel_ his gaze. As our eyes met, we both smiled, and I realized that I was holding my breath. I tried to exhale without being obvious.

"This is right, you know," he whispered.

"I hope so," I replied.

"It has to be, Bella. You have no idea how much you; how much this," he said, motioning at the space between our bodies, "means to me."

He leaned in closer, and I could feel the heat radiating from my face as it reflected off of him and back to me. He ran one finger across my jaw, lifting my chin so that I was looking into the emerald sea of his eyes.

"I don't want this feeling to ever end. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Bella Swan. I wake up in the morning because I want to do something to make you smile. I go through my day thinking of ways to try to make you laugh. I go to bed at night praying that I dream of your face. Even then I'm not satisfied, because my dreams don't do it justice."

_Is this for real?_ I wondered.

"I…I don't know what to say," I replied. _How freaking lame could I get?_

"Say that you feel even a sliver of what I feel. Say that you'll let me take care of you, cherish you…love you." His face was so filled with emotion that it almost looked pained.

My heart was in my throat, rendering me speechless. The butterflies that had been in my stomach at the beginning of this date had somehow morphed into sparrows, flying around inside me, making me feel sick. Tightness gripped my chest and I fought the urge to get up and run away from all of these new sensations. Is this what love felt like? Was it really this painfully sweet? Why was I still talking to myself and not to him?

"Okay," was all I could come up with.

He smiled. "Okay?"

"Yes," I continued. "Okay. I want to know what this can be – what this will be. I don't want these feelings to stop. I want to figure out what they are, and what you do to evoke them in me…and I want to know that you are more than the selfish monster you made yourself out to be last weekend. I want to know that you won't hurt me that way again."

"Deal," that was all that he said. He leaned toward me then, closing the small amount of space that was left between us. I lifted my chin to meet his mouth and he kissed me with the same intensity that he had that night at the apartment. He wasn't as rough, but he was just as intense. I tried my best to pour every insecurity I felt, every doubt I had, and every spark of hope that I could muster into my end of it. I wanted to convey every crazy, screwed-up emotion that I was feeling without using words.

Too soon, Edward pulled away from me. He looked at the table, then back at me and said, "See? I can't focus on anything other than you."

I looked at the table to see that the waitress had come by at some point to clear the dishes, and she had left our check. Edward took the black folder from the table as I reached for my bag.

"Don't even _think_ about reaching for anything other than a piece of gum," he said.

_What? Why is suddenly being mean again? Sure I have garlic breath, but so does he! We ate the same thing for cripes sake!_

"Bella? I didn't mean that you _need _the gum." Did I say that out loud? Could he read minds?

"I wouldn't notice anyway," he continued. "I just meant that I'm paying. Stop reading into things, love."

Edward paid the bill and we headed back to the car. I tried to avoid the waitress on our way out, mortified that she had seen Edward and I necking at our table like two high school kids. We made our way to the car, and Edward was once again the picture of chivalry, opening my door for me.

Once inside, he turned the heat on full blast and fiddled with the radio. He was flipping through CD's in the changer when the car began to warm, and the scent of him began to assault my senses. I breathed in deeply, trying not to be too obvious about it. Caramel, cologne, and cotton – there was no sweeter combination on the planet.

Edward leaned toward me, turning so that his arm was resting on the console.

"Penny for your thoughts," he smiled.

"Nothing, really," I said, blushing.

"You're beautiful when you do that, you know."

I looked up at him, a smile playing on my lips. He reached out to touch my cheek, and the heat that radiated there was instantly cooled by the electricity of his touch.

"I want nothing more than to make you happy. I want to protect you from all the bad things in this world," he said. His gaze was intesnse, and I felt my heart leap from my chest to my throat.

Slowly, he leaned toward me, closing the small space that the console created between his body and mine. I met him somewhere in between, allowing my eyelids to drop; following only the magnetic pull that my mouth felt to his.

As our lips met, the spark of energy burst into flame. My hand sought purchase on the back of his neck, slowly running up until I fisted my fingers in his hair. I didn't mean to seem so needy, but my body was powerless to stop – I craved him. He kissed me long and hard. I drank him in, never wanting the feeling to stop.

Without breaking our kiss, Edward ran his free hand along my back; his fingers exerting just enough pressure to elicit a shiver from my spine. My chest pressed toward him, begging to be closer. As his tongue caressed my own, I could feel a groan rising from his chest. He held me tighter, willing my body to mold to his. It was delicious the way we seemed to fit together this way, in spite of the barrier of the car between us.

The crazed hormonal girl inside of me suddenly burst forth and I was scrambling in my seat, trying to find a way to get even closer to him. Of their own volition, my feet pressed into the seat and I sat up, dragging one leg over the console until it rested in his lap. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me down onto his lap, straddling him. Edward ran his hands through my hair, and the sensation of it made my hips begin to sway against him. My body was desperate for friction, and his was more than willing to give it to me.

We continued to kiss, our mouths waging war with one another, until I felt a tightness deep in my belly that I had only felt once before. I crashed my hips against Edward's lap, frantic for the feeling to subside. His hands held on to my hips, not moving me, but not hindering me in any way. The tightness began to turn into a smoldering heat, traveling far below my stomach, lower…lower…

He broke away, leaving me gasping for air.

"Oh, what you do to me, Bella," he gasped.

I peeked at him with downcast eyes through my lashes. Quickly, I rectified my seating arrangement, placing myself back into the passenger seat. I blushed a fiery shade of red as I tried to catch my breath.

We rode back to my loft, and he offered to walk me upstairs. I reminded him that Victoria was probably still there, and that I really didn't want to give her any more ammunition that she already had. He begrudgingly agreed to let me out at the curb. As I exited the car, he leaned across the seat, oblivious to the traffic that was beginning to line up behind him.

"Bella," he yelled as I went to close the door.

I looked at him, smiling. I leaned back into the passenger side of the car, inhaling deeply the scent of his cologne and caramel, and now, garlic. His eyes locked with mine as he spoke.

"Thank you for coming with me. Will I see again, soon?"

"I'm sure you will, if your sister has anything to do with it," I answered.

He pushed himself up in the seat, leaning over until he could reach me. Quickly, he pressed his lips to mine and pulled away.

"Until then, beautiful," he smiled.

"Yeah, 'til then," I said, dazed once again by the power of his kiss.

I stood up and closed the door, then watched as he swiftly pulled out into traffic.

**

"And one, two, three-and-four, five six-and-seven-eight; do it again – and this time act like you mean it."

To say that Miss Kate was being a bitch today would be the understatement of the year. It was as if you could feel the electricity flowing from her – surrounding her in a barrier of lightening – daring anyone to come near her. No one so much as panted. We took our places and began again.

"And one, two…" she started.

And so it went for the next two hours. First, it was two-by-two that they dismissed the dancers. Like herding animals off of the ark, numbers were called and flippant hand gestures were used to signal the end of the audition for the unlucky ones called.

Finally, it came down to twenty. Among the chosen were Alice, Jake, Victoria, Jane, and me. I thought Alice was going to cry when Jasper was told to leave, but she held herself together. One by one, the numbers began to dwindle. I cringed when Victoria's number was called.

"Number twenty-two," Miss Kate said, waving her hand toward the door.

"What?" barked Victoria.

"Thank you, good-day," Miss Kate said, her eyes narrowing at my hot-headed roommate.

"Thank you, good-day? You're cutting _me_? She," she spat, pointing at me, "can't even walk a straight god-damned line!"

"That will be all, Miss Marks," Miss Kate relpied, coolly.

"I can't believe this bullshit," Victoria seethed. "I guess I need to find myself a Cullen to latch onto if I want to get noticed around here." She ripped her number from her leotard as she picked up her bag and stormed out of the door.

"Now then," Miss Kate began. "If we're done with today's episode of 'the bold and the immature,' let's proceed."

The music began and we began the steps once more. I focused on my reflection in the mirror, concentrating solely on what my feet and arms were supposed to be doing. Jake, Alice, Jane and I all made it to the final cut. It was time to audition separately for the solo spots.

After being ushered out into the hallway, they called us in one at a time. Jane went first. Once the door to the studio had been closed, Alice turned to me, her eyes wide.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she said. "I didn't realize that being your friend was going to cause you so much hardship. I knew that Victoria was upset about us being close, but I had no idea that she would act like such a fucking ass about it."

"It's alright," I assured her. "She's just upset. I'm sure that by the time I get home, she'll have calmed down."

"Yeah, either that or she'll have all your clothes out on the sidewalk. That bitch is scary, Bells," Jake chimed in.

"Shut-up, twinkle toes," Alice said, poking Jake in the ribs. "Don't make her any more nervous than she already is."

"Yeah, like that could happen," I replied, rolling my eyes.

One by one, dancers were called into the studio to perform. When I heard my number called, I sucked in a deep breath and straightened my shoulders, trying to fake the confidence I so desperately lacked at that point.

"Knock 'em dead, baby girl," Jake said, reaching over to hug me with one arm. "And don't break a leg – just do your best."

"Thanks, Jay-Jay," I said.

I stepped into the room and saw four faces staring at me from across the floor. None of them were familiar. A video camera was set up in the center of the table that they sat behind. I assumed that they were taping the auditions so that the Board would be able to pair dancers with composers for the show.

I reached into my bag to grab my CD. When I opened the jewel case to take it out, a post-it note was stuck to the plastic behind the disc. I recognized the handwriting, like calligraphy, as Edward's. The message was simple:

_Dance as if no one is watching. – EAC_

I smiled. How did he know that I would need him at this very moment? He was impossibly perfect.

I started walking across the hardwood floors toward the judge's table to hand off my music. Halfway there, one of feet missed the hard, flat surface beneath me and slid out from under my body. I fell flat on my ass.

The faces behind the table gasped in horror at the clumsy little ballerina in front of them. I quickly got up and straightened my ballet skirt, holding my chin high despite the blush that was racing across my face.

I handed the disc to the judge on the far right, nearest the CD player, and then turned to find my mark in the center of the floor. I hoped that once the music started, they would forget about the spectacle I had just made of myself.

The sad strains of the violin began to permeate the room, and my heart began to race. Slowly, I lifted one arm and then the other. I turned to face my audience, and allowed my feet to move to the music. I began the steps that I knew I could perform in my sleep – and I tried not to think about what was at stake if I messed up.

Before I knew it – the song was coming to a close. I curtsied to the small crowd, ducking my head in appreciation for their light applause.

I left the room after collecting my music from the front of the room, and leapt into Jake's arms as soon as I closed the door behind me.

"I did it! I did it! I fell on my ass at first, but Jake, I did it!"

"I knew you could, sweetie girl, I knew it!" he said as he spun me around.

"Go get 'em tiger," I said to him, as they called his number next. He looked back at me as he entered the room, winking as he pulled the door closed.

After we were all finished with our auditions, all that was left was to wait. Jake suggested we all head over to New Moon to celebrate. Alice wanted to go to the mall and blow off some steam by spending her inheritance in advance. I wanted nothing more than to shower and call Edward.

Alice made the executive decision that I was not going back to my loft after Victoria's little show in the studio.

"She's likely to be waiting behind the door with a crowbar," she said. "She's probably ready to go all Tonya Harding on your ass. I think you should stay with me."

"I have to go up there and get some clothes; at least take a shower, before I go anywhere, Ali," I said. I didn't want to tell her that I was hoping she would invite me over. I wanted to share this day with Edward so badly. More than that, I wanted to thank him for his kind gesture.

"I'll go with you, Bells," offered Jake. "Bitch ought to know better than to mess with you while I'm around."

"Sounds like a plan, then," I said.

We headed to my loft, leaving Alice to walk to her apartment alone. I told her that I would meet back up with her at her place in about an hour. I wanted some time to decompress before heading to see Edward.

As I put my key in the lock, I heard Victoria talking to someone inside the apartment. I cracked the door open, trying to go, unnoticed, to my room.

"Of course, I'll be glad to tell her. Uh-huh. Okay then, goodbye," she said. She placed the cordless handset back in its cradle.

"Who was that?" I asked. I never received phone calls at the loft. Anyone who knew me called on my cell phone. I was immediately worried.

"Oh, that was just Kate," said Victoria. An evil smile played at the corners of her mouth. "She wanted me to let you know that you didn't make it, after all."

"They wouldn't do that with a phone call, you dumb whore," said Jake. He was standing just in front of me, his body blocking mine from my roommate's view.

"Well, they just did, asshole," she said. "If you don't believe me, look at the caller ID."

Jake picked up the handset and pressed the ID button. There, on the little green and black screen, was the number to the Joffrey School.

My hands went to my face and I ran down the hallway, slamming the door to my room. I threw myself onto my bed and sobbed into my pillow. Jake came in behind me and shut the door.

"Bella, I don't know what to say…"

"Don't Jake, just don't," I blubbered.

He sat on the edge of my bed and rubbed my back. Every dream I ever had was crashing down around me. Why did I even bother? I should have known the moment that I slipped and fell that they wouldn't want me. I might as well pack up my things and head back to Washington. Maybe the local community college could still get me into classes. I'd probably make a good secretary. At least that involved a lot of sitting.

"Bella, honey, why don't you pack your stuff?" he said. "We can head over to Alice's. Maybe she can call her mom and figure out what's going on?"

"No, Jake, I don't need to beg the Cullens for a favor."

"I'm not saying you need a favor, Bella; but they could at least provide an explanation."

I looked up at him, my vision blurred by the fountain of tears that was springing from my eyes. He was right, of course. I did need an explanation. I pulled myself up and Jake wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against his chest.

"It's gonna be okay, Bells," he whispered into my hair.

"I don't think so," I sighed.

I got up and grabbed my overnight bag. I knew that Alice would demand I spend the night once she found out. I threw in a pair of pajamas and a few other items before reaching for my toiletry bag. I rubbed the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath. I would go talk to Alice. She would help me figure this out.

We exited my room quietly, only to find that Victoria was no longer on the couch. I was relieved that I didn't have to hear any more of her venomous remarks before I left.

Jake ushered me out the door, and we headed toward the elevator.

I heard a buzzing noise, and saw Jake reach for his phone. It must have been Sam, because his voice became almost a whisper, speaking smoothly and softly into the receiver.

I fished in my bag for my phone, realizing that I had never turned the ringer back on after the auditions. We were walking out the door of the building when I flipped it open.

**3 new text messages**

I began going through them as we walked. Jake was ahead of me, still talking to Sam.

**How did it go today?**

The first message was from Edward.

_Well, it went fine until they called to cut me before they even posted the results. _I replied in my head.

I paged over to the next message.

**Heading to Joffrey now. Are you still there?**

Hmm, I wonder why he went to the Academy? Did he have something to do, or was he coming to see me? I paged over again.

**Sorry I must have missed you. Left my phone in the car. I tried calling. I'll come pick you up if you'd like.**

Tried calling? I looked up to see Jake crossing the street. I looked down at my phone to check my missed calls. I hated that I missed the chance to talk to him, since calling wasn't something he normally did. Strangely, my phone didn't show any missed calls. I stepped out into the street, following behind Jake. I looked down at my phone again to see what time Edward had offered to stop by. I must have just missed him.

I was still looking at the screen when I heard Jake's voice.

"BELLA!" he yelled.

I looked up at him – his face twisted in horror. That's when I heard the screeching of brakes and the blaring of a horn. I quickly looked to my left and was blinded by the setting sun. I looked back to my right and saw a flash of silver.

Then everything went black.

* * *

*hides behind couch*

So...Yeah....

Thanks to ThatPanicGirlE...she knows why. Something about a blind man picking a fight...

*****Shameless Plug Alert!!*****

**I've entered a little contest called "The Kid Contest." It's super cute. Yours truly has written a little ditty for it, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with this story. But, if you love me like I love you, you'll go and read it and VOTE for me! It's my very first contest, so I'd appreciate the boost. **

**Take out the spaces, replace the dots: http:// www (dot) fanfiction (dot)net /u/ 2079954 / The_Kid_Contest The story is titled: THAT SUMMER**

Thank you, my lovlies!

As always, reviews are welcome...or you could just share YOUR resolutions!


	13. Chapter 13

Well, chickies, we're almost caught up with the craziness over on Twilighted. Then I'll be back to my regular posting schedule of whenever my children, husband, and real life allow me to find the time to get the crazies out of my head. It won't be very long, though. Two weeks a chap, tops. Hope I don't lose you.

I entered a contest here on FF called **The Kid Contest**. Check out my submission...it's on my profile page, titled **That Summer**. If you like it (and you will, because it's sweet), then head over to the Kid Contest page and VOTE for me. It's my first time entering anything...I need you!

Here we go...

_

* * *

The music was pulsing through my veins. My life was being sustained not by my blood, but by the sweet harmonies of the music that was being drawn from the piano by expert hands. The audience, enraptured by both my performance and that of the pianist, seemed to be made of marble – there was no movement to be seen. I leapt into the air, the crimson scraps of chiffon that made up the skirt of my costume flowing out behind me like rivulets of blood. I arched my back as I landed, preparing to reverse my steps and cross back over the stage in a series of turns. The music pounded in my ears and through my body, driving me forward. _

_His notes were strings, pulling my body in directions that I never thought possible. We were performing together – not I for him, or him for me. This was a duet in the most sincere sense of the word. My steps could not exist without his music. His music could not continue without me being there to interpret it for all to see. _

_As I completed my routine, the music softened, then stopped; leaving me stilled and panting somewhere near stage left. I reached over to touch the piano, to silently thank him in this moment for giving my steps life. His eyes met mine as I heard the audience burst into applause, and they were chanting my name. _

"_Bell-a! Bell-a! Bell-a!" their cries echoed around me. _

_I looked at them, confused. Why were they not acknowledging the man beside me, the one whose composition had allowed me to become the embodiment of rhythm and grace? I shook my head at them, as if to correct a naughty child. _

"_No," I mouthed toward the crowd. _

_They continued crying my name._

"_No!" I shouted. "Edward!" _

_They had to stop, it wasn't fair that he wasn't sharing in this joy._

"_It's okay, Bella," I heard his velvet voice say. His emerald eyes were sparkling over the top of the massive grand piano. "I'm here, and it's okay."_

"_I know you're here!" I yelled back to him. "Why won't they stop?"_

"_They will, Bella, just relax. Everything is going to be fine. Relax, sweet girl," he said, but his voice was changing. _

_As I looked at him, his hair became shorter, his skin darker. What the hell was going on? What was happening to Edward? His eyes grew darker and voice grew deeper, taking on a familiar resonance._

_I blinked, then looked again. Jake. _

"_What the –" I squeaked._

"_Shh, Bella, sweetie," Jake said, his eyes searching mine. "It's okay, everything's fine. You're going to be fine."_

"_Why does everyone keep saying that? What's going on?" I croaked, my voice weakening with each word._

_I blinked again and looked down at myself. My costume had morphed from a long silk and chiffon confection into my plain jeans, which were now shredded from the thigh down to my ankles. The ribbons that I had seen flying beneath me moments before didn't just resemble blood – they were blood. My hands were fastened at my sides and I couldn't reach them. I bucked my body up against my new-found restraints, trying to make them find purchase on my legs. _

My head snapped back against something hard and flat. I winced from the pain of it. I blinked again. My eyes focused on the light above me. It was so bright that I was sure I was looking straight into the door of heaven. No, the door of heaven wouldn't have a silver circle around it, would it? I strained to look to my left, and was surprised to see Alice and Jasper there. I quickly looked to my right to find Jake, with his arms folded across his body. He was chewing the side of his thumb, and talking softly to someone just out of my line of sight.

"What…What is going on?" I whispered.

"Oh, Bella!" I heard Esme's voice say.

Esme? What was she doing here?

Where was here?

"Bella!" Alice squeaked. "Oh I knew you were fine! Don't worry, doll. Some fuckhead almost ran you over. Thankfully, they slammed on their brakes. Unfortunately, my emo boyfriend was behind them, and was so depressed about his audition that he wasn't paying attention and ran right up their ass; which, in turn, slid them straight into you. But you're going to be fine, Carlisle said so. They're going to take some X-rays, but he doesn't think you broke your legs, which is awesome. Your arm will be fine, too. My dad is the best, you know…"

"Alice dear, kindly shut the hell up," Esme's voice was quiet, but serious.

Wait – I was hit by a car? Audition? Oh, yes, the audition that I had been cut from after the fact. That would be the same audition that had sent me straight to heaven, only to open up the trap door and plummet me to hell an hour later. And now I had been run over by my best friend's boyfriend.

What a great fucking day.

Where the hell was Edward?

"Bella," I heard Carlisle's voice as he approached me. He came to stand directly over me, which was great, because I couldn't move. Someone apparently thought that this would all be even funnier if they strapped me to some sort of medieval torture device.

"Bella, do you know where you are?"

"Hell," I muttered.

"It may seem that way, yes, but do you know what kind of building you're in?"

"A hospital," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Yes, you're in a hospital. Mercy, to be exact. Do you know what day it is?"

"Yes, it's the day that I blew my audition and got hit by a car."

Esme whispered across the room to Alice – "Blew her audition? What is she talking about?"

Alice replied, "I don't know."

Carlisle continued, "Well, you certainly did get hit by a car, Bella. Your injuries are pretty extensive, but simple all the same. Can you tell me your date of birth?"

"September thirteenth," I mumbled.

"You had a birthday and didn't tell me! Bella, I'm going to kick your ass when you're better! I can't believe you didn't let me have a party for you!" Alice shrieked.

"Alice! Now is not the time!" Carlisle reprimanded. "Now, shut the hell up like your mother told you to or I'll ask you leave the room!"

"Sorry, Dad," she said.

"Bella, I've ordered some tests for you. We're going to take you down to X-ray first. We need to make sure that you haven't sustained any neck or back damage before we take you off of this backboard. As soon as we've established that, we'll make you more comfortable and send you for a CT scan. This will rule out any internal injuries. Don't worry – I don't think that either is the case, but we'd rather be safe than sorry."

"Okay," was all I could manage to say.

Carlisle continued, "You'll be brought back here after you're tests are completed. I already have an OR on hold in case we need to surgically repair your arm. You need to go ahead and prepare yourself for the possibility of that, Bella, because, barring a miracle in the X-ray room, I can't see how we'll fix it any other way.

Esme has already contacted your father. He sends his love, and he is trying to see what he can do about getting here as soon as possible."

"Charlie?" I asked. No, I didn't want Charlie to waste his vacation days on this. Truth be known, I just didn't want him to come all the way out here to just sit in my room and watch SportsCenter all day. Charlie was a much better support from afar.

"Carlisle, please tell him not to do anything rash. I mean, I don't…he shouldn't…I don't want him to rush out here just yet," I said.

"Well, Bella, that's your decision, although I will say that you will definitely need a strong support system no matter how minor your injuries are. There will be some adjustments that will have to be made…"

"And we'll take care of all of that for you," Esme chimed in. "We'll talk about the particulars later, but you will not be going back to that loft of yours anytime soon."

"It's time to go, Bella," Carlisle said.

"Smile pretty for the camera!" Alice yelled after us as I was pushed out into the hallway toward the X-ray room.

**

"Alice, can we please watch something other than reruns of House of Style? Please?"

"Bella, this is classic vintage fashion footage. Todd Oldham was a genius before he sold out to that discount department store. Did you see the kick ass grunge sandals he just made out of a pair of Converse? That is style gold."

"You're disturbed, my friend," I said, rolling my eyes. "It's so unfair that I can't change the channels myself. This is going to get really old, fast. I'm going to have to learn to use the remote with my feet so my brain doesn't turn into a doily."

"Fine, party pooper," she said with impish grin. "I'll change it. Do you want anything from the vending machines?"

"No thanks," I replied. Alice skipped over to the door and turned before leaving the room.

"Bella," she said quietly, "I really am sorry this all happened. I'm going to have you so damn spoiled before it's all said and done, just wait!"

"Shut up, Alice," I said, rolling my eyes.

Ever since I had come out of surgery, Alice had only left my side to shower and feed the vending machines change. She said that it was because I was the only real friend she had, and she couldn't bear the thought of my being alone in the hospital for any length of time. I think it's because it was her boyfriend's fault that I ended up in a double cast, unable to do anything for myself.

Both of my arms were immobilized. Carlisle had performed the surgery to place two metal rods in my right arm, which was now pinned uncomfortably to my body with an ugly blue sling. My left wrist was being held stiffly in position by a metal brace contraption so it could heal properly. I looked like a Tim Burton version of Hospital Barbie.

My injuries left me completely helpless and at the mercy of whomever got stuck with the chore of feeding me, bathing me, or helping me to the restroom among other embarrassing things. I was not a happy camper – but what could I do?

Alice had been wonderful to me the past few days. She had made sure that I looked and felt as presentable as possible while dressed in a backless green gown. I laughed until I cried when the aides came in to bathe me the first day. She handed them bottles of my favorite body wash and shampoo, telling them to not come near me with their "cheap old people smelling shit." When they were done, she braided my hair so that it wouldn't bother me. She brought my makeup and put it on for me – twice. The first time I asked the aide to wash it off while Alice was in the bathroom. I looked more like a high-priced call girl than myself because Alice had insisted that I try "a smoky eye." When she came out and found my face bare, she was ready to fight. She insisted that now was a perfect time to try something new. I insisted that I had just been hit by a car, and didn't need to look like I had also been in a bar fight.

I won that argument. She applied it a second time in a more natural way.

Alice was also kind enough to explain to me that I had not, in fact, been cut from the audition. Through the haze of the pain meds and Alice's one-hundred mile-an-hour rant, I realized that Victoria had lied about who was on the phone because she was so upset that she was asked to leave. Edward had been the one calling me, asking if he could pick me up since he had learned from Jasper that we were all going over to the apartment. I went through every stage of acceptance known to man. I was livid that I had allowed myself to give in to my insecurities and believe my conniving roommate, and I happy to know that I had made it into the performance. Of course, that was a moot point now that I was stuck in a hospital bed, letting someone else spoon food into my mouth. I couldn't wipe my own ass without difficulty, much less put on a pair of pointe shoes.

Then came the news that I was given a _solo._ Since the first time that I heard Edward's music, I had fantasized about dancing on stage to it. Granted, I didn't know if that was who I would have been paired with, but I definitely wouldn't be now. Now I would only be able to be an audience to Edward – not a part of his art. My heart was broken yet again.

Edward had been so kind through this whole ordeal. Alice had commandeered my bedside, but Edward was more than willing to patiently stay with me, even if it meant having to deal with his sister. He apologized profusely every chance he got, but I wasn't listening. How could he think that this was his fault? I was so proud of him for reaching out to Jasper. I was thrilled that he had put himself out there and offered to help someone out who was obviously hurting.

I was so ready to get out of the hospital. I was so ready to prove to myself, and to everyone else, that I wasn't going to be a bother or a burden. I wanted more than anything to prove to Edward that he had nothing to be sorry about.

When Carlisle told me this morning that I was going to be discharged, I was ecstatic. When he told me that Esme had spent the last four days moving all of my belongings from my loft to Alice and Edward's apartment, I was horrified. How was I supposed to live under the same roof as him? Our relationship was in its infancy, and I didn't want anything to happen that might ruin it. I could definitely see how being together twenty-four-seven could do just that. However, what were my other options? Go back to live with Victoria? That hardly sounded like a therapeutic environment. She'd probably wax the floor with vegetable oil so I'd break a leg.

Edward and Alice now entered the room together. Alice was smiling from ear to ear, but Edward's face was entirely different. Was it worry? Was it relief? I was going to have to get better at deciphering his countenance if I had to live with him.

"It's time to get your sorry ass into a wheelchair, Swan! We're going home!" Alice giggled, pulling down my sheets.

"Are you sure you don't need to stay another day, Bella? How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

"Edward, I'm fine. I'm on enough pain killers to choke a horse, and it's only my arms. It's not like I can't walk. Alice, why do I have to ride in a wheelchair?"

"Hospital policy," they both said at the same time.

Edward leaned across the bed and slipped his arm behind me to help me sit up. As he shifted me toward the edge of the bed, I tried to lose myself in his scent. Warm, caramel, cologne – it was a pleasant change from the antiseptic sting of the hospital in my nose. Once I was positioned properly to stand, he helped me get stable on my feet by wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I'm glad I've had practice helping you up," he whispered in my ear.

I looked up into his face and saw that he was smiling slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Funny, Mr. Cullen, very funny," I said, as I sat down in the wheelchair.

Alice whirled around the room like a tornado, gathering up all of our things. In less than two minutes, she had everything packed into three bags that she gingerly handed to Edward as she pushed him away from the handles of my chair.

"You carry these, I'll push her," she said.

We exited the room and headed to the nurses' station, where we were met by the discharge planner who gave me a long list of reasons to call the doctor and when to call 911. She also explained that a home health nurse would be at the apartment around the clock for the first three days, and whenever Alice and Edward were in class after that. I was to report to Carlisle's office in the next forty-eight hours to have my operated-on arm set in a cast to protect it.

I looked up at Alice and Edward, hoping that all of this was sinking in. My mind was still in a haze from the drugs, and there was no way that I was going to remember all of this on my own.

"Don't worry," Edward said. It was obvious he saw my confusion to what was going on.

"We have everything written down, and these orders have already been given to our mother. Between her and our dad, you're going to be the most well taken care of patient this hospital has ever discharged."

I smiled up at him and tried to refocus my attention on the woman speaking to us. I whispered a silent prayer of thanks for the Cullens, hoping that one day I could repay them for all they were doing for me.

**

We arrived to Alice and Edward's apartment shortly after dinner time. I still didn't feel like I should call this place "home" yet – I was only planning on staying here until I was healed, then I was going to try to find another apartment for myself away from Victoria. I didn't care if I had to work three jobs to pay for it – there was no way I was going back to live with that insufferable whore.

By the time we made it to the apartment, I was spent. Four days of lying in a hospital bed takes it out of a girl, I suppose. I leaned against Edward for support just as we were walking across the threshold. He bent down and swept my legs out from under me, being careful to not pin my injured wrist between us. He looked down at me and I was lost in the emotion that his eyes held.

"Whatever you need, I'm going to do it. I want to anticipate every need you have, Bella. I want to make the pain stop before it starts. I want to carry you before you get tired," he whispered into my hair.

"Thank you," was all I could muster.

I wish I could blame the meds that I was on for my lack of verboseness, but who am I kidding? I'm always a bumbling idiot when it comes to Edward.

He put me down on the couch, arranging the pillows until I was comfortable. I blushed, remembering the night that I had been on this couch with Edward in a very different situation. He looked down at me and I swore I saw a smirk on his face. It cleared immediately when Alice started yelling from down the hall.

"Jesus in a manger, Edward! You're not going to bring her down to her room? Mom worked so hard trying to get everything just right! Come on, Bella. Your arms are broken, not your legs! Get up, lazy ass!"

"So much for getting comfortable," I mumbled, turning to look down the hallway.

"I could carry you, if you like," Edward said, stepping back over toward me.

"That's okay," I replied. "I think I can make it."

He wrapped his arm around my waist and we headed down the hallway. Alice was standing just inside the doorway of the guest room, which was now my room for all intents and purposes.

I gasped as I took in the room before me. Gone was the sterile white down comforter on the bed. In its place, a deep blue coverlet was folded down to reveal what looked like very expensive paisley sheets. Mounds of pillows were stacked at the head of the bed. On the nightstand were all of my things from my bedside table from my loft. My favorite books were stacked exactly the way I had left them, with my well-worn copy of a teen fiction book opened and lying flat on top of them. I was sure that if I were to pick it up, it would be on the page that I had stopped on five nights ago. I was embarrassed that Esme knew I read such drivel, but I was touched that she had taken such pains to make me feel at home.

On the dresser across from the bed, the frames that had held photos of various Cullen family outings had been replaced with my smaller collection. A photo of my dad and I fishing with Jacob and his dad when I was eight. My mother's wedding photo, with me standing by her side in a hideous, frothy pink gown, was beside it. I blushed again, wondering how many expletives Alice had used when she saw the ignorance that was my mother's idea of fashion.

The closet doors stood open, and I could see all of my sneakers and my new boots lined up neatly beneath the rows of neatly hung shirts and jeans. Tears welled up my eyes. I had never felt so cared for as I did in that moment.

"Alright, sappy, let's get you into bed," Alice declared. "Is everything okay? You're not getting all emotional over me hanging up your clothes, are you?"

"Thank you, Alice," I choked out. The tears were streaming freely down my face now.

Edward reached over to wipe them away.

"Don't cry, love," he said. "Why don't you sit down? You've had a long day."

I nodded and let him steer me toward the bed. As I sat, he knelt down in front of me. Visions of Edward taking off my boots rumbled through my head and various other parts of my body, and I blushed again. I was brought back to reality by the sound of the doorbell.

"That's probably the nurse," said Alice. "Why don't you go get it, Edward? I'll help Bella get comfy. Go, shoo!" She waved her hands in the air to dismiss him, and he shrugged at me as he walked past her toward the hallway.

"I'll be right back," he said.

I nodded and Alice rolled her eyes.

"No shit," she mocked.

I watched as Alice traipsed over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of fleecy pajamas. They looked like they were made of snow – all white and fluffy and pristine.

"I hope you don't mind," she said, unbuttoning the top before she laid it across the bed. "I couldn't find a proper pair of pajamas in all of your stuff. All I saw were flannel pants that looked like they belonged to a twelve year old and t-shirts. So, I had mom do a little shopping while we were at the hospital."

"That's fine, Alice," I said. Of course she wouldn't approve of my sleepwear. "Those look amazing."

"They'll do for now," she said, smiling impishly. "But if you're going to be here for any length of time _after_ you heal up, we're going to have to make another trip to the mall."

"One step at a time, please, Alice," I moaned.

She closed the door to the room just as I heard a female voice introduce herself as Maggie to Edward.

"Let's get you comfy, okay?" Alice asked. She walked over to me and helped me out of the clothes that I had worn home from the hospital. For such a whirling dervish of a girl, she was surprisingly gentle with my injured arms. Somehow, she managed to wrangle me into the fleecy pajamas. They were so soft and warm, and they felt like perfection against my skin.

When she was done helping me dress, Alice assisted me in getting into a comfortable position in the bed. Then she reached into the bedside table and pulled out a jumbo-sized remote control.

"Here you go!" she said. "You should be able to work this one easily enough, despite your wrist. I mean, my grandma has one, and she doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

"Everybody loves a smart-ass, Alice," I retorted.

"Just promise me you won't spend your days watching _lifetime_, please?"

"I won't," I said, wincing as I pressed the button to adjust the volume.

"Are you hurting?" I heard Edward's smooth voice ask from the doorway. I looked up to see his crazy shock of hair and gorgeous face sandwiched between the door and the jamb.

"You didn't knock, you pervert! What if she hadn't been decent?" Alice scolded him.

"Then it would've been my lucky day, I suppose."

"Whatever, peeping Tom…Bella, do you need some medicine?"

"I think so, yes," I replied. The throbbing in my wrist and the burning in my arm was getting worse by the minute.

"I'll go get the nurse, then," she said, turning to go out the door.

I looked up at the ceiling, once again thankful for such wonderful and caring people in my life. I felt like I barely knew the Cullen family, yet here I was, being taken care of by them as if I were one of their own.

The door to the room opened again and there stood who I assumed to be my nurse, her reddish-brown hair pulled back from a face that didn't look that much older than mine.

"Hello, dear," she said to me with a hint of an Irish accent. "How're you feelin'? Do you need some relief?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"No need to be shy about it, dear," she smiled at me. "That's why they're payin' me the big bucks, ya' know."

She reached into the deep pocket of her scrub jacket and pulled out a needle. Gently, she pushed up the sleeve of my top and pinched slightly as she popped the top off the needle with her other hand. Had I not been watching her, I wouldn't have known she had even given me the shot.

"That should take effect soon, dear," she said. I'm going to get a set of stats on you now, and then I'll leave you be for a while. If you need to use the john, I'll be right in the other room, countin' my money."

"Okay, thank you," I replied.

Maggie walked out of the room, only to be quickly replaced by Edward.

"Any better?" he asked.

"Not yet, but it will be," I said. "She gave me a shot."

"Good, that will work faster," he sighed.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"Not at all," I said, smiling up at him. I was already feeling a little light behind my eyes.

Gently, he said down onto the bed beside me, careful to leave his feet planted on the floor.

"This isn't Ozzie and Harriet, you know," I teased. "You can put your feet up on the bed."

"I just don't want to make you uncomfortable, Bella," he replied.

"Edward, stop. Last week I was dry humping you in the front seat of your car. Now you're worried that lying beside me in bed with the door open and your sister and a nurse in the other room is going to make me uncomfortable? Pssshh."

_Note to self: Pain meds in, brain filter out._

He chuckled. It was the first time I had heard any sound that resembled laughter from him in four days.

"You have a point," he said as he kicked off his shoes and swung his long legs onto the bed.

"Much better," I smiled as I laid my head against his shoulder.

"So, what's on the stupid box?"

"Stupid box? Oh, that's right. Genius composers like Edward Cullen don't stoop so low as to watch television."

"No, that's not it. It just never held my interest very long. You, on the other hand, always hold my interest. I'm just curious as to what you'll be watching while I'm watching you."

"Oh," I said sheepishly. "Probably VH1, since they're supposed to have a _Behind the Music_ of this awesome eighties band on later."

"And who would that be? I wouldn't take you for a hair-band kind of girl."

"There's a lot you've yet to discover about me, Cullen," I responded. "Marvar is the name of the band. They're awesome. I've always found their lyrics to be very inspiring."

"Interesting," he responded. "Of course, I wouldn't know if they were any good or not…"

"Sorry," I said, blushing crimson. I felt like a complete ass. I was sure that I had just touched on a sore subject. Edward wouldn't have been able to listen to any music when he was younger. There were probably scads of bands that I loved that he had never even heard of. I decided then and there to introduce him to some of my favorites.

"It's okay, Bella, I'm not made of glass. You don't have to tip-toe around me. In fact, I've become quite the opposite – I'd like to think I'm made of marble, or granite."

"So what you're saying is, you're rock hard and you sparkle in the right light?" Wow. I don't know what Maggie gave me, but that was some good shit. I felt like the queen of the freaking world, and there was no pain anywhere in my body.

"Something like that," he smiled. This time, it reached the corners of his eyes.

His hand was absent-mindedly running up and down my upper arm. The sublime feeling of it, paired with the strength of the pain killers that were coursing through my system, was making me very, very sleepy.

"I like this," he said. "You look like a little lamb – all innocent and white and fluffy."

"Hmpf," I grunted. "Well you look like a lion, with your crazy ass hair all over the place."

He continued running his fingers up and down, up and down. He bent down and softly placed a kiss on my hair as my eyes slipped shut from the weight of the medication. I was so warm, so comfortable, and so high.

The warmth of him next to me was overwhelming, his scent intoxicating. I felt myself pulling away into a dream as his voice slithered into my subconscious.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

The silky sound of his voice was just enough to send me slipping into oblivion.

* * *

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	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Hello, my lovlies!

If you've been living under a rock for the last week, you might not know that there are some people in Haiti that are in dire need of help. Leave it to the most amazing fandom ever to band together and show our support. MsKathy (who, if you're not reading her stories then you're not my friend) is leading the charge, and it only takes a few clicks to help. Donate $5 or more to the charity of your choice (there's a list on her blog if you don't have one), then email MsKathy your receipt. As a thanks for helping out, you will receive a file with stories from every single awesome author in the fandom that you can think of, and then some (including lil' ole me). So...GO! HELP! FEEL GOOD!

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* * *

"Lefty! How's it hanging?"

"Thanks, Alice, that's really cute," I grimaced. Alice was having a blast mocking me as I healed.

Alice turned and chasséd into the other room, humming the music to her performance piece loudly as she went. I sank down into the bed and used my semi-good arm to pull one of the thick pillows over my head. I felt like every day had become a game of "good news/bad news."

Today, the good news was that my X-rays showed, after two weeks of rest, my arm was still healing properly. Carlisle had even gone so far as to say that I may be out of my fiberglass cast and into a molded plastic brace by New Year's.

The bad news was that the Joffrey/DePaul Showcase was tomorrow night, and I had no choice but to go.

Edward had been practicing day in and day out for his performance. Though the schedule was rigorous, he was adamant that he be back at the apartment every night long enough to help me with my dinner.

Despite Carlisle sending me to physical therapy three days a week, I still had a very hard time feeding myself. Trying to pick up a slice of pizza or a sandwich resulted in my wearing it more times than not. Attempting to use a fork to pick up pasta or salad meant that the floor would be wearing more food than ended up in my mouth.

Alice had mocked me, sympathizing in her own way. Esme had wiped away my tears and gone out to find special eating utensils. Edward, on the other hand, had taken a very hands-on approach to aiding in my recovery.

**

At first, I hated it. I was at odds with my invalid status and hated the fact that I was so dependent on anyone – much less the Cullens – for everything. For the first few days after I arrived at the apartment, Maggie was with me. Knowing that she was being paid to take care of me somehow made it less awkward when she spoon-fed me like an infant.

Once I was cleared to shower by myself, Maggie only came in twice a day to check that I was taking my medications and doing all of my homework for physical therapy. Unfortunately, her schedule didn't permit her to stop by at meal time.

One of the Cullens was always nice enough to bring my tray to my room. I'd push everything around on my plate, trying to grab a morsel here and there with my hindered fingers. Once in a while, I'd actually get to taste it, but more often I would become exasperated with myself and give up.

Edward came into my room a few nights later after one his long rehearsals and sat on the edge of my bed.

"You're not eating, Bella," he said. "You know that you can't let yourself become depressed over your injuries. They aren't permanent. You will heal - we will all make sure of that. If you're having trouble dealing with this, I'm sure my father would be more than happy to refer you to someone. There are some wonderful psychiatrists within the hospital."

"I don't need a shrink, Edward," I said, pouting. Just then, my stomach growled loudly.

_Stupid tattle-tell stomach._

"Then what is it, Bella? Is it the food? Do you not like it? I'll order from anywhere you want, just please, eat something."

"No! I mean, it's not that I don't like the food. I just have a really hard time eating, with my injuries and all."

He put his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his copper locks. I would have given anything at that moment to have been able to do that for him. I knew better than to tell him so, though. He was already doing so much for me.

"Well, that can be remedied," he said, standing up with a smile. "I'll be right back."

He turned and left the room, leaving me to wonder what on earth he was doing. My curiosity was quickly quelled by the sound of plates rattling in the kitchen. I knew he was digging around for something for me to eat. I opened my mouth to yell at him – I wanted to tell him that I was fine and wasn't hungry – but remembering the smile that I had seen on his face stopped me. It was so rare to see him happy lately. I was willing to let him take care of me if it meant that he would be in a better mood. The sound of crackling and sizzling began to fill the apartment.

Ten minutes later, I was lost in an infomercial about a swivel sweeper when I saw a shadow cross over my doorway. There, in the dim light from the kitchen that radiated down the hallway, was Edward, carrying a breakfast tray.

His face was lit up from the inside and he looked triumphant. I struggled to boost myself up in the bed with my legs so I could accommodate his handiwork on my lap. He walked toward me, smiling, and placed the tray across my legs. Slowly he sat down on the bed to face me, staying close to the tray.

"Breakfast?" I questioned. It was almost midnight. Perched on the tray were three small plates. One held a variety of cut up fruit; on the second was an egg – over easy with a slice of toast and the third, a cinnamon roll. A glass of milk and a glass of orange juice completed the meal.

"I won't be here to do this in the morning, so I thought I would stay one step ahead of myself," he said as he unfolded the napkin on the tray and placed it in my lap.

"You should probably tie that around my neck," I mumbled. "I'm just going to get this all over myself and the bed."

"I don't plan on letting you get any of this anywhere. Now," he said, picking up my fork and cutting into the white of the egg, "open wide."

"You've lost your damn mind if you think I'm going to let you feed me," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Bella, I assure you, I lost my mind the moment I met you. Now, open up and eat your breakfast."

Slowly he lifted the fork to my lips. I squeezed them tightly together and nodded my head from left to right. He persisted in silence, following my lips with the fork. He quirked an eyebrow at me and brought the fork back down to rest on the plate.

"Well," he said, "if that's the way you're going to be, then. I suppose I'll just have Esme call your father and tell him that you refuse to eat and we're worried about your mental well-being."

"You'll do no…" I managed to get out before he popped the bite of eggs into my mouth with an impish grin on his face.

My face turned twenty shades of pink and red as I chewed.

I was furious.

I was ready to cry.

I was really, really enjoying those eggs.

I opened my mouth for another bite, and Edward quickly obliged.

"See?" he asked, smiling wider now. "It's not so bad to be taken care of, is it? You spend so much time wishing that you could be better so that you could begin to repay us for taking care of you; but you need to let go of that. We all want to take care of you. You mean the world to my whole family, Bella. So this," he said as he put down the fork and took the orange juice from the tray, holding it to my lips, "is how you can repay me. You can let me take care of you. God knows you take care of me every day."

"What do you mean, I take care of you?" I asked, enjoying the coolness of the juice against my throat. "I can offer you nothing. You have all of this…this." I motioned around the room with my eyes and head, "And I…I have two bum arms and a scholarship to a dance school that I'll be lucky to be a part of when I get better! I don't have anything to give you!"

"You give me everything, Bella, just by breathing."

The air in the room seemed to stand still. I looked up through the traitor tears that were forming in my eyes to see him. His eyes were calm and steady. I had no trouble believing that he was sincere – even though I still had trouble believing that I could ever give him anything.

"Now, eat," he said, shoving the fork back into my face.

I alternated between bites of fruit and toast until the only thing left on my tray was the pastry and the milk. I leaned back onto my pillows and put my casted arm over my stomach.

"Ugh," I groaned. "I can't eat another bite. That was so delicious, Edward, thank you."

"My pleasure, but you're not done yet," he motioned toward the cinnamon roll.

"I can't eat that! I'll weigh five hundred pounds in no time if I start eating danishes late at night!"

"One little sweet roll will not cause morbid obesity. Besides, this is the best part," he said, smiling.

With his long slender fingers, he picked up the roll and tore off a piece, holding it up in front of my lips.

"Just taste," he whispered.

I parted my lips and he placed the sugary bread on my tongue. A small moan rose up from my throat – my sweet tooth was not in the habit of being spoiled. I blushed at myself. Edward's crooked smile let me know that he had heard me.

Silently, but still smiling, he turned and tore off another piece of the pastry. This time when he turned back toward me, his eyes were different. Darker. He placed the second, larger bite in my mouth and I closed my lips around his fingers. He looked at me, his face suddenly devoid of all humor, and took in a ragged breath. I swirled my tongue around the top of his thumb just as he pulled it out of my mouth, leaving only his index finger. I suckled on it for a split second, then I feathered my tongue across the top before pulling away.

I smiled as I leaned back, taking in Edward's face as he recomposed himself. Truth be known, I had no idea if what I was doing was sexy just then; I just loved the taste of cinnamon and Edward. I tucked that little morsel of information into the back of my head and smiled at him.

"Sorry," I said, sheepishly.

"Don't be," he responded, milliseconds before he crashed his lips to mine. It was the first time that he had kissed me since I had been moved into his apartment. As his tongue found purchase on mine, I reveled in the taste of him.

_So much better than a cinnamon roll._

He pulled my bottom lip between his and nibbled on it, making my whole body come alive. I wanted so badly to throw my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair – but I couldn't. My breath caught in my throat as he deepened the kiss. The tears that I thought were gone began running down my cheeks. As he brought his hand from the nape of my neck to my cheek, he felt the wetness there and pulled away. As soon as we lost contact, I felt empty.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Oh, god, I've screwed it all up again."

"No," I whined, the tears falling freely now. "It's not you. I just...I can't even kiss you the way I want to. I'm useless."

"You're far from useless, Bella. Now, do you want any more of this cinnamon roll, or are you just going to simulate lewd acts on my fingers if I feed more to you?"

I smiled. Edward was trying to make a joke.

"Is that a trick question?" I asked, feigning innocence.

**

"Earth to Bella! Come in, Bella!" Alice yelled.

I had become so caught up in the memory of that night that I'd drifted off into my own mind, and had no idea what was going on around me. I blinked and shook my head, trying to shake the images of Edward's lips on mine away. I didn't want to have to explain myself to anyone in the room.

Alice had returned, along with Esme and Jasper.

"Bella, dear," Esme began, "we were wondering if you feel like getting out today. Your dress is ready down at Mira if you'd like to go pick it up."

"Um, sure, that would be great. I guess I do need to get out a little today."

"Wonderful! I'll leave you with Alice to get ready. I'll meet you downstairs in, let's say, twenty minutes?"

"Sure," I nodded.

Jasper and Esme left the room and Alice scurried to the closet where she began putting together an outfit for me.

"Alice, why is Jasper here if we're going out with your mom?" I asked.

"Don't be silly, Bella. I don't need a dress for tomorrow night, you know that. I was just telling Mom how Jazz and I haven't had a lot of time together recently, so she suggested that we stay here while the two of you go out."

"Oh, Alice!" I began apologizing immediately. "I'm so sorry that I've been such a burden on you! You know I don't care if Jasper is here. It's not like he _meant_ to almost inadvertently kill me! Besides, I'm still so knocked out on pain killers at night, it's not like I…"

"Don't be stupid," Alice retorted. "This isn't about you being here! Sure, Jasper is still being a little douche about causing your accident, but he's not going to avoid _me_ because of it. It's been a crazy few weeks, Bella. My rehearsals alone have taken a huge chunk of time away from me. I just wanted to spend a little Q-T with my man before tomorrow night, that's all."

My shoulders relaxed from the relief of what Alice had just said. In fact, a little light bulb came on in my head, and I felt as if I was on the verge of realizing something, I just couldn't figure out what.

"Now," Alice continued, "let's get you dressed so you can get out of here. I need a little pre-performance stress relief." She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled, making me more embarrassed than I already was for my outburst.

I met Esme downstairs exactly twenty minutes later. She was chattering away on her cell phone as I approached her.

"Of course, I understand," she said into the receiver, not realizing I was there. "Certainly there are other ways to handle this, but I'm done being gracious."

She paused and began rifling through her purse. Pulling out her lipstick, she began applying it as she listened to the other side of the conversation.

I stood silently, not wanting to bother her. I turned my attention to the windows of the lobby, watching the mid-day crowds of people bustle along the sidewalk.

"I have been more than patient with her," Esme blurted out suddenly.

I tried with all my might to not listen to her, but her voice carried across the marble surfaces in the lobby.

"Have you ever heard of overstaying your welcome? You have? Then you understand where I'm coming from. We have done all we can do for her, and still no progress. I refuse to have someone leeching off what my family has built. Let her enjoy watching the performance gratis tomorrow, but after that, she's out. Do I make myself clear? I'll take care of it myself if I must, but I think I'm a far too personally involved to do so without it reflecting poorly on the Academy."

Tears began to prick at my eyes.

"_Overstaying your welcome…leeching off my family…personally involved…"_

Oh god – this is it. I knew then that Esme wasn't taking me out to lunch to let Alice and Jasper have time together. She was taking me out one last time before she revoked my scholarship and sent me home to Washington to teach four year olds how to curtsy.

My dancing career was over.

My time with Edward was over.

My life was over.

I turned to walk toward the main entrance, needing the brisk wind of the city to clear my head before I spent the next few hours pretending that I didn't just hear Esme's tirade.

"Bella! Oh good, you're ready to go," she called out behind me.

I watched as Esme stood and walked toward me. I knew she could see the fear and sadness in my eyes, and to be honest, I wasn't trying to hide it. Not that I could if I wanted to.

"What's wrong dear?" she asked as we stepped out onto the sidewalk toward the car she had waiting for us.

"Oh, nothing," I lied. "I'm just a little tired, that's all, but I'll be fine."

"Are you hurting? Is physical therapy becoming too much for you? I asked Carlisle if three days a week was too much, but he seemed so pleased with how you're progressing. If it's too much, dear, let him know. We can't help you unless you communicate with us."

My stomach twisted in knots. How could she lie to me like this? How could she feign her concern when I knew that in less than forty-eight hours I would be back on a plane to my father's house? I shook my head and lied again, telling her that I was physically fine. I told her that the excitement in the house from the upcoming performance must be rubbing off on me.

After we picked up my gown from Mira, we headed over to a small café for lunch. I couldn't help but smile when Esme reached into her bag and pulled out my wide-handle utensils. Then, I felt a tightening in my throat, knowing that this was all a show.

My day with Esme went by in a blur. I was too distraught to really pay attention to our conversation, and she was so busy talking about the DePaul-Joffrey night that there really wasn't much for me to say. When we arrived back at the apartment building, she leaned over the seat to put her arm around me.

"Bella, I thank you so much for spending time with me today. My apologies for talking your ear off, but it's not every day that a mother prepares to see both of her children perform in such an important recital. I only wish that you were going to be up there with them."

"I do too, Esme. Thank you for lunch, and thank you again for the dress," I said, unable to meet her eyes.

"You're welcome, my dear. I'm so glad we had the opportunity to help you."

Her use of the past-tense wasn't lost on me.

"Thanks again," I whispered as the driver opened my door. I climbed out of the car and took my dress from the chauffeur, draping it over my casted arm.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, dear," Esme called out from the backseat. "Carlisle and I will send someone up to get you at six!"

I nodded and turned to go inside, willing my insides to stop churning.

As I rode up the elevator, I felt myself becoming numb. So much had happened to me in such a short time, and I knew that my mind had simply given up. It felt as if I was shutting down to avoid further damage. The doors to the lift slid open, and I headed down the hallway. I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep until I had to get up the next day. I hoped that Alice and Jasper were either gone or otherwise occupied so that I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I knew that Edward wouldn't be home until late tonight. He was a perfectionist, and felt as if he couldn't practice enough.

A perfectionist – he was a perfect man in his perfect world with his perfect family, with nothing to stop him from developing his perfect art. In that moment I realized just how much I – with my laundry list of imperfections - didn't fit into Edward's life.

**

I barely slept that night. I considered taking an extra pain pill, just to knock myself out, but decided against it. The last thing I needed was to become a washed up dancer hooked on prescription medication. Instead, I started planning out my life back in Forks. My alarm sounded just as I came to terms with the idea of teaching tap lessons to third graders.

I sat up in bed and stared at the closet for a few minutes, debating on whether or not I should get dressed or just stay in my pajamas all day until it was time to get ready for tonight's festivities.

I was just about to crawl back between the sheets when Alice came bounding into my room, a sleepy-eyed Jasper behind her.

"Get up, lazy ass!" she screeched.

"Mornin', Bella," Jasper said, rolling his eyes in Alice's direction.

"Hope you slept well, lefty! Now get up! I've got to get you dressed before I leave. I'll be gone all day, so I need to do something with that head of hair of yours before I go. Otherwise, you'll be going to my performance with bed head and B-O. Now up!"

She wrapped her tiny arm around my waist and tugged until I was standing. With a heavy sigh, I let her lead me to the bathroom. She floated around the marble-tiled room, assembling a large group of styling products on the vanity shelf. When she was satisfied with the small army of gels, sprays, and creams, she turned her attention back to me.

"I'm going to help Jasper start the coffee," she said, as she held out the sleeve of my pajama shirt so I could pull my somewhat workable arm out of the hole.

"You get undressed and put this around yourself," she continued, placing a terrycloth bath wrap across the sink. "Shout when you're ready and I'll come wrap up your arm so you can wash yourself, okay?"

Mindlessly, I nodded in response as Alice slipped out of the door. I disrobed as quickly as I could, still trying to hold back the emotions that were raging inside me. I wondered if Alice knew of Esme's plan to have me out of here soon.

_Of course she does,_ I told myself. _This family is perfect; they don't keep secrets from one another._

After a few deep breaths, I called for Alice to come back into the room. I wanted this part of the day to be over with as quickly as possible, so that she and Jasper could leave me to wallow in my self-pity.

**

I made it through my hair appointment with Alice, trying my best to smile and nod at the appropriate times as she prattled on about her night with Jasper and her excitement for tonight's event. When she was satisfied that my hair would stay in place until later in the day, she released me back into the comforts of my room.

I wanted horribly to lie down, but my hair wouldn't allow for such activities. Even if I wasn't afraid to face the wrath of Alice if the intricate updo fell out, I knew that I'd never get any rest with all of the twists and pins she had put in my head to hold it in place.

Once Alice popped her head in my room to tell me good-bye, I settled on going into the living room to zone out in front of the television.

I puttered down the hall, and was shocked to see Jasper sitting in a recliner, looking completely enthralled with something on the History channel.

"Hi," I meekly said, as I sat down on the sofa.

"Hey, Bella," he replied, training his gaze on me as a commercial took over the screen.

"I thought you left with Alice?" It was more of a question than a statement.

"Well, I was gonna do that, but then I figured you might want some company. I mean, I can go if you want me to. I was fixin' to watch this Grant biography, but I don't have to."

"No, no, that's fine if you want to stay. I just wasn't expecting you to be here, that's all. But now that you are, I'm glad I don't have to stay here all alone today."

It wasn't a total lie. I was glad to have the company. It would be a nice distraction from my thoughts for a while.

The conversation between Jasper and I was easy, for the most part. We started off commiserating about Alice to one another – swapping stories about how she'd turned each of us into a three-dimensional paper doll. From there, the conversation fluidly moved to the Academy. We swapped war stories of our auditions and the awful productions we had both been a part of in our home studios.

Talking to Jasper had quite the calming effect on me. I'm not sure if it was his smooth southern accent, or his way of making me feel like everything I said was important, but I felt relaxed by lunchtime. Jasper made us both a turkey sandwich, and was kind enough to cut mine into four little triangles so I could pick it up easily.

"I'll help you, if you want me to, Bell," he said as he took another large bite of his sandwich.

"No, I've got it, really, its fine," I responded.

Jasper smiled and looked down at the floor.

"Yeah, I've seen him do that; the whole feedin' you thing. I don't know if you realize what a big ol' step that is for him. From what Alice told me, he's never been much for helpin' other people."

I swallowed loudly, struggling to get the last bite down my now-dry throat.

"Really?" I replied. I suppose that I had taken for granted the fact that Edward wanted to help me.

"Well, yeah. Alice doesn't talk much about her twin at all, Bella, but before you came along, nothin' she had to say was real nice. I mean, I'm sure you know that they've never really gotten along that well. She feels closer to Emmett than she does to Edward, and that's always bothered her. Maybe I shouldn't be tellin' you all this. I mean, it's their business."

"Well, I mean…did I…have I done something…wrong?" I asked, not wanting to let the subject go. It was selfish of me, surely, to want to hear it. I suppose I hoped that I would learn that I had done something wrong other than being injured and helpless to warrant Esme's plan to send me home.

"No, darlin', that's just it. You haven't done anything wrong. You and Edward, well, you're good for each other. From the outside, it looks like he thrives off of your unbiased opinion of the person that he is; in turn, you somehow pick up all that anger that he's puttin' out. From what I've seen, you allow Alice to have her way with you when it comes to dressin' up, and you let Esme have her way with settin' you up in this apartment, even though we can all tell you're still not comfortable with it. Hell, Bella, 'scuse my French there, but you even let Victoria walk all over you, believin' every word she said. With Edward, though, you're different. You don't take his junk. You stand up to him, and you tell him how it is."

I was stunned. How did Jasper know all of this? Was I that transparent?

"Now, Bella," he continued, "I'm pretty new to dealin' with this family and how close they all are. It's a world apart from my own upbringin'. I do know this, though. Alice and Edward _never _got along 'til you came around. They never had to, and they probably never would have made an effort to do so. If you think for one second that either one of 'em doesn't love you like Peter loved the Lord, then you're wrong, little missy."

I felt my head spinning at the weight of his words. _Loved?_

Sure, Alice enjoyed my company when Jasper wasn't around. She knew that I didn't want to be her friend just because of her last name.

Edward certainly didn't seem to mind having me around. He'd told me numerous times that I inspired him, and that he relished in taking care of me.

But to say that either one of them _loved_ me – despite how I felt for them – was presumptuous, at best.

I opened my mouth to say just that, but then snapped it shut. I could see that Jasper fully believed what he had said to me, and I wasn't about to debate him on the issue. After all, it would be clear in a short while that I was right, anyway.

We finished our meal in semi-amicable silence. When I was done, Jasper took my plate to the kitchen for me. When he came back into the living room, he gave me a look that said, 'I know you think I'm full of it, but I know what I'm talking about.' Instead of continuing the conversation, I asked him about the program on television.

We stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon – while I tried to focus on putting on my happy face for tonight's performance for Alice and Edward, Jasper would go off on tangents about whatever was happening on television between getting me Cokes from the kitchen. My lack of sleep was requiring massive amounts of caffeine. Unfortunately, I was still tired. Now I was shaky and light-headed on top of it.

At four-thirty, Jasper said goodbye, saying that he would see me at the Roosevelt Theater soon. I made my way to my room and began the slow process of changing clothes. As I pulled the strapless gown that Alice had chosen for me up with one arm, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I had to laugh a little at the sight before me. Dressed in deep blue silk, with my hair up in shiny curls and twists, I looked refined – elegant, even. My casted arm and braced wrist were a stark contrast to the beauty. I looked like a walking contradiction – grace and clumsiness all rolled into one.

I smiled at my reflection, but it didn't reach my eyes. Sitting down on the corner of the bed to create resistance, I reached across myself and fumbled with the small zipper on the side of the gown. I grunted as I pulled upward on it, wincing a little at the pain that it caused to grip something so tiny. Once I had it completely zipped, I stood up and walked to the bathroom to make up my face before Carlisle and Esme arrived.

The act of putting on my makeup was soothing. As I brushed powder over the bridge of my nose, I thought about Edward, and how hard it would be to say goodbye to him. Jasper's words rang out in my head, and I contemplated them carefully.

"_If you think for one second that either one of 'em doesn't love you…"_

My thoughts focused on that one magical word: _love_. Did Edward love me? He certainly seemed to care for me. He always anticipated my needs, and took care of me as if I were precious to him. A random, dream-like memory crossed my mind, fuzzy and weak. I pictured myself, in cozy fleece pajamas, resting my head on Edward's shoulder. He was so quiet, stroking my arm to soothe me to sleep. A feeling of warmth settled over me, and I struggled to remember what he had said to me in those moments before I drifted off into a drug-induced slumber.

I shook my head and scoffed at myself for daydreaming like this. None of that mattered now, anyway. I turned my attention back to my face, grabbing my lip gloss and running it over my bottom lip.

I jumped as I heard the knock at the door.

"Coming!" I called out.

Taking one last glance in the mirror, I switched off the bathroom light and headed toward the door.

When I opened it, I saw Carlisle, standing in the hallway looking like a page from a men's catalogue.

_What is it with these Cullen men? Perfection must be dominant gene._ I thought to myself.

"Bella," he said quietly, "you look stunning, dear. Are you ready to go?"

"Thank you," I blushed. "Yes, I'm ready," I continued, looking around for my jacket.

"Esme asked me to bring this up for you," Carlisle said, holding out his arm. Something black and furry was draped across it.

"Oh?" I questioned.

"It's a wrap dear. Chicago in October is hardly the time or place for bare shoulders," he said, unfolding it from his arm and holding it out for me.

"Wow…um, thank you."

Carlisle placed the heavy stole around my shoulders and clasped it together in the front, then smiled at me, offering his crooked arm.

"Shall we?" he said.

"We shall, I suppose," I answered.

He reached out and pulled the door closed, then led me to the elevator – toward what was sure to be one of the most unbearably memorable nights of my life.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Have you donated yet? Well, what are you waiting for????**

**Thanks, as always, to TPGE for nurturing my love for pretty sentences. I'm going collabo on y'all with her...the link is now on my profile, or look for dayandnight under my fave authors. MUAH!!!**


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you all, once again, for taking the time to read this story and to tell me what you think about it. You rock my world.

* * *

The excitement in the air was palpable. Parents, friends, instructors, contributors, alumni…they were all here to see tonight's performance. As I walked into the foyer of the theatre, I was greeted by two little girls, probably around twelve years old, their eyes sparkling as they handed out programs for the night's event. Carlisle took mine from the tiny greeter and smiled at her, making her giggle. He placed his hand on my back and guided me toward the stairway that led to the boxes on the second level.

As we walked through the lobby, several people stopped to speak to Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, congratulating them on both of their children being a part of tonight's festivities.

"Thank you, James," Carlisle said to the blonde gentleman that had just grabbed his attention. "We are quite honored that Edward and Alice were chosen. It seems that their hard work has not been in vain. This is Bella Swan," he said, nodding in my direction.

I looked up and smiled at the man, quickly making eye contact and then turning my eyes back to the floor.

"Bella is a dear friend. She attends the Academy with Alice, and has quickly become a part of the family," Esme offered.

"Well, Bella, I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance," James said smoothly, offering his hand to me. I reached out to take it with my braced wrist.

"Well, dear, looks like the Academy has been quite hard on you!" he laughed.

I blushed and nodded. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Bella is going to be taking some time off due to her injuries," answered Carlisle, his voice noticeably harder. "My wife tells me that she is an amazing talent, though. I'm sure this won't be the last that you'll see of her, Mr. Hunter."

"I certainly hope not," replied James.

"Well, it was so nice to see you again," Esme said, smiling tightly. "We really must get to our seats. Thank you for your kind words, James; and for all you've done to support the program. We really must discuss next year when you get a chance."

"Of course," he replied. "Dr. Cullen, Esme, a pleasure as always. Bella, it was wonderful to have met you."

"Thank you," I responded quietly.

"I've never thought much of that one," Esme whispered, leaning closer to me as we began to ascend the stairs. "He's so full of himself."

I smiled and nodded, letting a little giggle escape my lips.

As we reached the top of the staircase, Carlisle led us down a small hallway, lit softly by golden sconces. I felt as if I was being led to the electric chair. I wondered if this was where Esme would tell me that I would be going home soon.

Carlisle reached out and opened one of the doors with a small card from his pocket. From the hallway, it was impossible to see anything, but once we were through the door, I could tell that we were situated in what were considered to be the best seats in the house. There were three rows of five chairs, each padded with thick green velveteen. They were arranged so that they sat almost diagonally from the back wall, facing stage left. The highly polished wood of the balcony railing hid the audience below, and I knew that once we were seated, we wouldn't be able to see any of the orchestra lights. The sounds and voices of the people below echoed all around us as we found our seats. Carlisle sat closest to the wall, Esme sat beside him. I was directed to the seat next to Esme, in the center of the row.

Esme opened her purse, rummaging around in the small jeweled bag until she retrieved her cell phone. She checked the display before turning it off, turning to nudge her husband to do the same. I wanted to ask if we were the only ones who would be seated here this evening, but just as I was about to ask, my question was answered.

"Ma! Pops! How's life in the Rockefeller box?" I heard a loud voice boom from behind me. I turned to see Emmett, standing in the light of the hallway, taking up most of the door frame.

"Shh!" Esme scolded, as she stood up to greet him.

Emmett took a step back to allow his wife to come through the door before him. If the emotion of the night or the amazing seats hadn't taken my breath away already – then the sight of Rosalie certainly would have. She was the picture of old Hollywood beauty, dressed in a floor length gown with a slit in the side that went up to the top of her knee. Around her shoulders was a fur stole, twice the size of the one that Esme had lent to me. She looked toward the floor bashfully as Esme reached out to embrace her.

"Rose, darling, you look phenomenal! It's no wonder my son is so in love!"

"Thank you," Rosalie said in a shy voice.

"Cleans up nice, doesn't she?" Emmett chuckled, leaning over to peck his bride on the cheek.

I was stunned that she seemed so self-conscious. If I looked like that, I would own it.

"Hi Bella," she said quietly.

"Swan song! How goes it?" Emmett asked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into his chest. I winced at the pressure on my broken arm and squeaked. "Fine!"

"Emmett," Carlisle said, his tone a warning.

"Oh, sorry Bells, I forgot you're damaged goods," Emmett grinned.

We all settled into our seats, the Cullens all making small talk as we waited for the performance to begin. Rose was looking at her program, squinting in the dim light to read. I wanted terribly to turn and read it too, but decided that it would be rude. Carlisle had an extra program for me, and I would look at it later. It's not like I didn't know who was performing tonight.

I sat in my chair, trying to look like I belonged – hoping that if I looked like I did that I would feel like I did - but scared to feel anything. I could feel myself slipping into a very dark place, knowing that soon this dream that I was living would soon be over.

I thought back to that first day, when I stepped out of the cab in front of the Joffrey building. All I had then was a suitcase full of leotards and shoes and a head full of dreams. This was the life that I was sure I was destined to live – the life of a dancer. I had so many wishes back then, and now they all seemed to be so far away. I remembered that first night that I went out to meet Jake, the music that I heard and the way it made me feel. Then my mind drifted to that night in Alice and Edward's apartment. That night, when Edward had said so much to me without speaking a word, played through my head as I watched the patrons below take their seats. It was if I could feel his breath on my skin, and hear his soft whispers as he touched me. I felt my heart begin to race, and my breathing accelerated.

"Bella, are you feeling well?" Esme leaned over and whispered in my ear.

I sat up straight, embarrassed that I had been thinking about such a thing with Edward's mother sitting right beside me. I nodded and focused my attention on her.

"Oh good," she said. "Listen dear; I wanted to talk to you tonight about your future with the Academy and Joffrey. I know that you've been through so much, and I don't want to worry you with all of this too soon…"

My heart stopped cold. This was it – she was going to tell me that it was all over.

Just then, the lights in the theater went dim, and then brightened again. It was time for the show to begin.

"Oh, my timing is terrible," she said. "We'll talk about all of this later tonight, if that suits you."

"Sure," I replied, "that's fine."

The lights in the audience went down and a blanket of silence covered us. A spotlight was directed at stage left as a small, rounded man approached the podium set up there.

"Ladies and gentleman, it is my pleasure to welcome you to tonight's performance, 'A Season to Remember.' As you all know, this is the first joint venture between the student of the DePaul School and the students of the Academy of Dance…"

His voice droned on with the introduction as my mind spun out of control.

_Focus, Bella, focus_, I repeated to myself. _You're not here for yourself. You are here to support the three people who mean the most to you in this world. Put on your happy face and focus._

My inner dialogue was interrupted by the first few notes of music being played on a cello. The curtain on the stage parted slowly. When it was completely open, I could see the source of the music – a young man dressed in a tuxedo – seated at down stage right.

The tune was haunting and slow, but soon his notes were being matched by a violin, then harmonized by the clear sound of a flute. I couldn't see any of the other performers, and I assumed that they were seated in the orchestra pit. As the music grew stronger, the stage lights began to brighten. A group of three dancers cast a shadow on the backdrop of the stage. I watched intently, curious to see who they were.

I recognized Jane, and watched her as she gracefully executed her routine. She really was an excellent dancer, as her technique was flawless. She moved with effortless grace across the stage, never outshining the others, but never being lost in the company, either.

When the piece was finished, the audience politely applauded, and a loud wolf-whistle could be heard coming from the back of the auditorium.

"Yeah, Jane!" I heard a voice yell across the crowd. I'd know that voice anywhere – Victoria.

"Well! Of all the…!" Esme gasped. "You would think she was raised on a farm, yelling like she's calling pigs to slop! How rude!"

I looked at her, wide-eyed, taken aback by her words. I'd never seen Esme quite so put out by something.

The room grew silent once more, and the stage lights came back up. The violin began again, played this time by a girl standing in the same place on the stage as the last musician. The tempo was quicker this time, and I leaned forward, anxious to see what choreography had been set to it.

The dancers emerged from stage left, leaping onto the stage and twirling around each other. This was the partner performance – the pas de deux. I gasped when I realized that Alice was dancing. She looked gorgeous in her flowing white costume, with gossamer strips of fabric hanging from her arms and sticking out wildly from her hair. Her partner, one of the Laurent twins, was elegantly masculine as he carried her on one arm across the stage and then dropped her down, catching her just before she hit the floor.

Esme gasped, and I beamed, knowing that this was a move that required so much trust and practice. It was something that Jake and I had been working on just days before my accident, and I knew how much Alice had wanted to nail it for tonight's showcase. The piece itself was more modern than classical, and Alice couldn't have done a better job of conveying the emotion and intensity that it required. I glanced down at the audience knowing that Jasper was somewhere near the front, watching her from his seat. The Cullens had invited him to sit with all of us, but he had declined, saying that he wanted to be as close to the stage as possible.

When the routine was over, Alice sat atop her partner's shoulder, her face almost exploding with the pride and satisfaction of what she knew was job well done. The audience responded with a round of applause, minus the whistles and yelling this time, as they walked back into the wings.

"Little sis isn't half bad!" Emmett exclaimed, reaching down to clap a hand down on his father's shoulder. "She should look into doing this professionally or something," he said grinning, offering a wink in my direction.

The next piece was a group effort again, this time a more classical ballet piece set to piano and strings. I sat mesmerized as I watched the movements on the stage. I was critiquing their every move as I shifted in my seat. It was a habit that I had gotten into years ago when I started dancing, and a very hard one to break.

I knew that there were only two pieces left in tonight's program, and that Jake and Edward were a part of them. There were only two dances left –the solo pieces, and with them two musician's performances. I was nervous and excited to see my two favorite men on stage, but I was dreading the night to be over. I knew that it wouldn't be long before this night would be over, and I would be forced to wake up from the dream that I had lived in for so long.

The orchestra began playing, heavily led by the percussionists. The auditorium was completely black, there were no stage lights, and the sound of the curtain opening was the only cue that a dance was about to begin. Suddenly, a burst of light flashed on the stage, and I could see Jake standing there, clad only in black rehearsal pants, his chest bare.

His feet were shoulder width apart and his chest was heaving as the light continued to pulsate over his form. He began walking toward center stage, but it was timed so perfectly with the flash of the strobe that he seemed to be floating toward us. When he reached down center the flashing stopped, as did the music. Suddenly, a cacophony of drum beats filled the air and Jake appeared in the flashing light of the strobe, leaping into the air. The sight of him took my breath away, and it occurred to me that this was my _best friend_, and I was getting to watch him live out his dream.

The level of passion in his movements was so moving that I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat. He moved violently across the stage, leaping and turning, throwing his body through the air. The postures that he created were beautiful. At one point, the flashes of light and the rhythm of his steps were so rapid that he seemed to be suspended in midair for eternity. Then, as quickly as it had begun, the dance ended; the final strike of the drums echoed through the air and hung in the darkness for the briefest of moments. The stage lights came up, and Jake stood at center stage again, beaming. He lowered his torso in a deep bow and then glanced up to the balcony where I stood, wishing that I could clap for him. He winked, and then turned to exit stage left.

When the applause died down, I took my seat. I was trying to steel myself for Edward's performance, which was obviously coming up next. It didn't surprise me in the least that they had saved him for last; they would want his ingenuity to be what everyone here remembered tonight. Through my marvelous powers of deduction, I had also figured out that he would be playing for a solo dancer. I wondered who had been given my place, since I couldn't perform. My eyes began to well with tears as I realized that I would have been able to dance to Edward's composition.

Obviously, the dancer wasn't going to be anyone that I was familiar with. I settled back into my seat and closed my eyes, trying to imagine myself backstage, preparing for the routine.

"Time for baby bro to show his stuff," I heard Emmett whisper behind me.

With my eyes closed, I could hear the sound of the piano being rolled onto the stage. I heard Esme shift in her seat beside me, taking in a long cleansing breath as she primed herself to see her son's performance.

I imagined Edward, nervously waiting in the wings for his cue to walk onto the stage. I hadn't seen him in his tuxedo, but I didn't have to in order to know that he would be breathtaking. I joined Esme in taking a deep breath as I heard the first note being played.

I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes.

The notes were deep and full, wafting through the air slowly and methodically. My mind was bombarded with images, all melding together, and for an instant I was sure that I had gone insane. My heart ached as the sadness of the composition continued. It reminded me of all that I had been feeling for the last twenty-four hours. With my eyes still clenched shut I envisioned myself dancing beside him on stage, while my mind superimposed the voices of the past few weeks over Edward's music.

"_You spend so much time wishing that you could be better so that you could begin to repay us for taking care of you…"_

"…_But I'm done being gracious… I have been more than patient with her…"_

Edward began playing the chords with more force, matching the rhythm of my heart as my head began fitting all the pieces together.

_This family is perfect; they don't keep secrets from one another. _I remembered thinking to myself.

"_My compositions are friends that I can mold to be whatever I choose. If I am sad – they comfort me…" _

"_The music…It was you." _

I felt the tears rise up, hot and heavy as they spilled down my cheeks. My chest heaved and my stomach churned – I knew I was going to be sick. Through the haze of water in my eyes, I could see Edward's hands moving swiftly across the keys, his head bowed in concentration. If there was a dancer on the stage with him, I never saw her.

My chest tightened and I knew I had to get away from here - away from the Cullens and their perfection, away from Joffery and the reminder of my broken arms and dreams. Most importantly, I had to get away from Edward. I couldn't bear the sound of his genius anymore; it was too much a mirror to the turmoil in my heart.

I stood up, eliciting a small squeak from Rosalie behind me, and walked toward the door of the box. Thankful for push-bar doors, I quickly fled the darkness of the seating area, blinking at the light in the hallway. Whimpering, with tears streaming down my face, I walked down the stairs as quickly as I could without falling. Halfway down, I heard Rosalie's voice calling after me but I didn't stop to see what she wanted. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I spotted the ladies' room and ducked inside. I quickly closed myself in a stall and began unrolling tissue, wiping my eyes as I gulped down air and tried to calm myself.

"Bella?" I heard Rosalie call again.

I sniffed, and then answered, "Yeah?"

"I'm going to give you some privacy, but I'm right outside, okay? I know this is a lot to take in – did he even tell you before tonight?"

"No," I sighed through my now stuffy nose. My eyes were now brimming with a fresh round of tears.

"Selfish bastard," she muttered. "I'll be out in the hallway. Take your time, but know that you only have about ten minutes before it's over and everyone starts rushing to get in here."

"Thank you," I replied, though it sounded more like "tankew."

I sniffled for a minute longer then began dabbing at the corners of my eyes with a fresh tissue. I was practicing every breathing technique I had ever learned and willing myself not to empty my stomach all over the place. I was ready to step out of the stall and survey the damage I had done to my face and dress when I heard the squeak of the bathroom door opening.

"I can't believe that shit!" I heard an all-too-familiar voice say.

"Nothing! She's nothing! It's preposterous! I'm going to the board about it, whether his mother likes it or not! It's blatant nepotism, first of all….no, she's not a sister…she's just a pitiful little skank from the wrong side of the tracks who got lucky! Yeah, I know I did! …But that doesn't make the two of us alike!" I heard Victoria yelling to no one in particular.

I peeked through the crack in the stall wall to see her standing at the sink, talking on her cell phone.

I froze, scared to move…or even blink…or breathe. The last thing I needed was my loathsome ex-roommate cranking up the rumor mill about me crying in the bathroom. After all, there would be enough for her to rejoice over and talk about once I was gone. I watched her feet pacing back and forth across the shiny linoleum, her voice "um-hmm'ing" and "uh-huh'ing." She turned abruptly on her heel and headed for the stall beside mine, telling her caller that she would have to call them back. As soon as I heard the lock slide into place, I flushed the toilet and raced out of the bathroom. Rose was standing just outside the door, waiting for me just as she had promised.

"Are you sure that you're feeling well, Bella? You were in there for quite a while. I know this has to be a lot to take in, but it's best to have it out in the open, don't you think? I mean, now you don't have to wonder. Of course, the entire upper-crust of Chicago doesn't really have to wonder, either. Unfortunately, the Cullen family seems to be big on grand gestures," she said, rolling her eyes.

_Grand gestures?_ _How do you send someone away in a grand fashion? Were they going to make Edward do it? Is that why she asked about him earlier? Are they keen on public humiliation? _

"I'm fine. I mean, I'll be okay," I replied. Through the heavy doors of the theater, I could hear the emcee's voice, and I was sure that the program was coming to a close. The last thing I wanted was to see Esme, or worse yet, Alice or Edward. I knew I had to get out of there, and fast.

"Rose?" I questioned, looking toward her, but not meeting her eyes. "I think I need to go back to the apartment. Maybe this was too much, too fast. I'm going to get a cab and head back?" My statement had somehow turned into a question.

"Bella, are you sure? There's still the after-party, and Edward is going to be so disappointed if you're not there."

"I know," I said, looking down at the floor. "I don't want to be a party-pooper, I just don't feel well at all. I would only ruin their night. Please? Just tell Edward and Alice to go enjoy themselves with all of their friends and family, and I'll see them when they get back."

"Bella…" she trailed off, as the doors swung open and people began to pour out into the lobby.

"Please?" I pleaded.

"Alright, but they're not going to be happy. Don't take a cab, though. Take the car. You can tell Garrett what's going on and he'll take you and come back for Esme and Carlisle."

"Okay," I answered.

"Here," Rose said, placing her program in my hand. "I saw that you didn't have a copy, so you can have mine."

"Thank you, Rose," I said, taking it from her.

"We'll see you soon," she said, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugging me lightly.

I turned from her then, making my way to the front entrance. The cold night air stung my skin as I exited the building. I looked around and saw the Cullens' driver, Garrett, standing next to the towncar on the opposite side of the circular drive. I walked briskly toward him, trying to put on my best "I'm-sick-but-I'm smiling" face.

"Garrett, could you take me back to the apartment building, please? I'm not feeling well."

"Certainly, Miss Swan," he said with a kind smile as he opened the rear door of the car and helped me in. "Are Dr. and Mrs. Cullen joining you?"

"Not right now," I responded. "They'll be going to the party. I didn't think I was up for it."

"Well then," he said, helping me into the backseat, "let's get you home."

_Home._

I'm not sure why that word caused my world to start spinning. It was probably because I wasn't sure where home was anymore. Was it with Edward and Alice in a high-rise apartment in Chicago? Was it in a loft with a girl who would probably rather see me destitute than doing well? Or was it back in Forks, with my father, starting over and moving on from chasing my dreams? Only the latter made any sense, because I didn't seem to belong anywhere else. Esme was preparing to send me there anyway, so why not go ahead and leave? At least this way, no one could say that I was dismissed from the program. I had a perfectly good excuse – I needed to go home to lick my wounds. No one needed to know that the deepest cuts I had were in no way related to the accident I had been in over a month ago.

I knew what I had to do.

With salty wetness running down my face, I opened the tiny bag that Alice had picked out for tonight. The program that I had been gripping between the fingers of my left hand fell onto the seat beside me. I couldn't make out the print in the darkness of the car, so I folded it in half and shoved it into my purse. I extricated my cell phone and turned it on.

Logically, I knew that I was about to change my life forever. My heart told me to stay, to hear what Esme had to say. My mind told me that the damage was done, and that hearing the words come out of her mouth would crush me. My heart broke for leaving Edward, but my mind was furious that he probably knew all along that this was going to happen. Instead of telling me, he had chosen to go along with the masquerade and hurt me.

It was that realization – that Edward had intentionally hurt me – that sealed my decision.

Garrett pulled the car over to the curb in front of the Cullens' apartment as I contemplated my next move. As he opened the door my phone beeped, signaling a text message. It was from Alice.

_**Where the hell are you, crip? Ur in so much trouble! Get your ass here before Edward goes all emo on us!!!**_

I shook my head at the screen and reached out for Garrett's hand to steady myself as I stood. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, I thanked him for doing me the favor and headed toward the golden doors of the building.

On the elevator, I began pecking out my reply to Alice.

**Got sick, sorry. Will c u soon. It was time 2 go home. Have fun, k?**

Her reply was almost instantaneous.

_**U better b up when we get home. Mom's not going to let us get away b4 she shows us off 2 all of Chicago. E's already begging 2 go. Call if u need NEthing. C u soon.**_

I stepped into the hallway and fished around in my bag for my keys. Finding them, I let myself into the apartment and locked the door behind me. I kicked off my heels and went straight to my room, unzipping my dress as swiftly as I could and letting it fall to the floor around my ankles. I grabbed a sweat suit from its hanger in my closet, and then snatched my beat up weekender bag from the back of the space.

I redressed in my sweats as quickly as I could, slipping my feet into a cushy pair sneakers before heading to my dresser. I packed my bag as if I were only going away for a few days. When it was packed, I sat on the bed and looked around. My eyes stung as if they would well up again, but no tears came. Instead, I took a long breath and leaned over to open the drawer of my nightstand.

An envelope was wedged between my important papers and the side of the drawer. I opened it, pulling out the credit card that Renee had given me a few years back 'for emergencies only.' I slid it into my evening bag, then placed the tiny purse into my weekender, grabbing my phone while I was on that end of the bed. I stood there for a moment, arguing with myself that this was the best and most selfish thing I had ever done in my life. Without a further thought, I pressed the speed dial number two, and waited for an answer.

"Hello?" I heard the voice say on the other end of the line.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Bella, is that you baby? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um, sort of, I mean…Daddy? I'm coming home."

* * *

Oh Bella, why must you DO this to me. This is not what I wanted her to do, but she wouldn't shut up and she's so damn whiny that I let her have her way so I wouldn't have to listen to her anymore... "They don't like me...Nobody likes me!" Urg.

Quick things:

1. Thanks to all of you who read, commented and voted for That Summer.

2. ThatPanicGirlE makes me write this. If you don't like it, blame her and her damn inspirational music. Nick makes me squee with joy, and tells me it's okay to be the way I am. KennedyMommy03 tracks me down like a badass nomad vamp, and I love her for it. You ladies rock my fake Uggs.


	16. Chapter 16

I really needed to wash my hair.

I'd spent the last two days moping around my father's house, eating cold pizza for breakfast and Cheerios for dinner. When I'd called him Friday night and told him that I was coming home, he didn't ask why or what for; he only asked how I was getting there and how long I would be staying.

**

I left a note to Alice at the apartment, telling her that I hadn't been abducted and that I had to get back to Washington as quickly as possible. I tried to assure her with my words that nothing life-threatening was wrong, and asked her to give me a few days of space before contacting me. I sat the paper under flowers that had been delivered from her grandparents, and then went downstairs to wait on the cab I'd called.

On the way to the airport, I dialed information and was connected through them to American Airlines. The next flight to Seattle departed in three hours. I winced as I paid for the ticket, because I had to use the entire credit line on my emergency card and my debit card for the rest. I prayed I wouldn't get hungry in the airport -I was now flat broke. When I arrived at O'Hare, I went to the ticket desk to check in, before being faced with every security measure possible. I suppose a twenty year old girl with a weekender bag and a broken arm suddenly becomes a terrorist threat when she buys a one-way ticket less than a day before her flight. I sighed and put up with all the searching and patting-down and scanning of my belongings – and I lied and said there was a death in the family.

The truth was that there was a death of sorts. I was dealing with the passing away of all my childhood ambitions, as well as a broken heart.

I sat in the terminal, curled up into a little ball, resting my casted arm on my knees and ducking my head in the crook of it. I focused on breathing in and out and tried not to let my thoughts consume me. I boarded the plane and turned off my cell phone before storing my bag under the seat. I had a text message from Alice, but I chose not to read it. I was sure it wasn't nice.

The flight was uneventful, and for that I was glad. The movie they were showing was _Hope Floats_, so I declined the headphones and requested a pillow. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a fitful slumber. When we touched down in Seattle, Charlie was there waiting for me just past the security gates. He smiled, his eyes full of worry as he took in the sight of me.

"Bells," he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he took my bag from me. "It's good to have you here. You feeling okay?"

I told him that I was fine, that I was just tired from the flight and ready to get home. He nodded and led me to the car, filling me in along the way about his latest fishing trip that he had taken with Jake's dad, Billy. He never asked about why I had decided to come home, though he did ask me several times if I was sure if I was alright. I assured him that I would be fine and he dropped the subject. We rode in silence toward home, allowing me to sleep in short spells during the three hour ride.

I woke up as Charlie pulled into the gravel driveway of my childhood home. Blinking rapidly, I focused my vision to the clock on the car radio: 5:45. I'd made it home, and it was already the next day. I'd officially made it through the worst day of my life.

The air outside of the car was cool but humid, and I welcomed the light mist of water that covered my face as I climbed the steps to the door. Charlie unlocked it and stepped aside, holding it open for me. I walked past him, and felt like I was stepping back in time as the sights and smells of the house assaulted my senses. My eyes pricked with tears and I swallowed them back, determined not to cry in front of Charlie.

"So…" he began, heading up the stairs with my bag, "you know where everything is. There's still some of your bathroom stuff in the hall closet, but I can run into town and get you more if you need it. I didn't have time to wash your sheets or anything, but it's not like anyone's been in there since you left." He paused long enough to kick a small overnight bag out the hallway and into his room.

"Yeah, so…" he shrugged, placing my bag on the floor just inside my door.

"Thanks, Dad," I said quietly, my voice a little scratchy from exhaustion.

"You're welcome," he said, rubbing his eyes. "You can sleep if you want. I'm going to put on a pot of coffee and stay up. I've got to call Billy in a little bit. We had a fishing trip planned, but I'm not going to go, you know, since you're here and you might need me."

"Dad!" I exclaimed, suddenly remorseful for barging in like this. "You don't have to stay home. I'm capable of taking care of myself, remember? Besides, what would we do if you stayed? Order pizza and watch ESPN? I can do that even if you're not here, besides the watching sports part."

"Are you sure, Bella? I have Monday off and we're planning on making it a long weekend…"

"No, you're not changing your plans just because of me. I'm fine, and I won't be good company, anyway. You go and have fun, or whatever it is you do on fishing trips and I'll see you when you get back."

"Alright then, but I have my cell phone in case you need me; and you will call if you need me, right?"

"Yes, Dad," I said, rolling my eyes and suddenly feeling like a little kid.

"Okay then," he said. "Well, I'm going to start the coffee. Billy should be here shortly after sunrise. I'll make sure that he leaves his van here so you can have something with an automatic if you need it. You won't be able to drive your truck like that."

"I don't plan on going anywhere, Dad."

"Yep. Well, you get some rest. You look like you've been through it, kiddo. I'm here if you need me, you know?"

"I know," I replied softly.

Charlie ducked into his room to grab the bag that had been in the hall, smiling at me as he made his way down the stairs. I shut the door to my room and walked over to my bed, sitting down so I could kick off my shoes. I pulled down the covers and curled up under them, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping that sleep would come quickly. I heard Charlie's heavy footsteps downstairs in the kitchen, and the last thing I remembered was the smell of strong coffee, wafting up the stairs.

**

_Ring-ring. _

_Ring-ring._

The phone was driving me crazy. I wished like hell that I could take it off the hook, but that had always been strictly forbidden in the Swan house. Charlie was the Chief of police in Forks, and the office had to be able to leave him messages as needed. If he was fishing, they left them on the home machine and he would call to check every few hours. They never called his cell phone while he was on a fishing trip – they knew better.

I had to erase the answering machine three times in the last two days. Between Jake, Alice, and Esme, it was full. I wasn't answering my cell phone; not for them, at least. I _would've_ answered it, but the one person I wanted to talk to wasn't calling me.

I'd called Edward in a moment of weakness when I woke up late Saturday afternoon. I wanted to explain to him that I was sorry for being so childish, and beg him to forgive me. Instead, I was sent directly to voicemail. I left a brief message just as his voice requested, asking him to call me back when he got a chance.

The messages started out politely enough…

"_Bella, this is Alice. I hope everything's okay. Call me when you get in so we'll know you made it. I hope you're alright. Edward's pretty upset right now, because he really wanted to see you last night; but he understands that family comes first. Anyway, call me."_

"_Hello, this message is for Bella Swan. Bella, dear, this is Esme Cullen. I hope everything is alright, you left in such a hurry. Is there anything we can do to help? Please let someone know that you made it home safely. We'll do anything we can, Bella, just let us know. Take care of yourself, and we'll talk soon."_

"_Bella-boo, it's Jake. What's going on, babe? Why'd you bolt? Was my performance that bad? (chuckle) Nah, I'm kidding. I know I was awesome. Anyway, I talked to Dad and he says everything's cool up there, so I'm not sure why you lied to the Cullens; but I know you have a reason, so I'll cover for you. I'm not sure why you're running, Bells, because if someone like sex-god Cullen wanted me, the only place I'd be running is Vegas. Take care, babe. I'll talk to you soon."_

They became more insistent as the day went on…

"_Swan! What the fuck? Call me back! I only know that you didn't die in a plane crash because there were no plane crashes last night! I'm making Mom call your Dad, because I'm starting to get worried. You didn't take much out of your room, so I'm assuming that you won't be gone long, but you could at least call and tell me what's going on. I'm worried, Bella! Call me, damnit!"_

"_Bella, this is Esme Cullen again. I'm calling to let you know that I spoke with your father, and he has informed me that you are safe in Forks. We're glad to hear that, dear. He wasn't very willing to talk about why you had to come home, and he said that he was out on a fishing excursion? I know you'll call when you can. Take care of yourself, Bella."_

There were many more messages from Alice, all laced with profanity and over the phone eye-rolling. It was the last message, though, the one Charlie relayed across the machine from Esme, that made me sink to the floor in a puddle of tears.

"_Bells, hey, it's Dad. Yeah, Ms. Cullen called and left a message. Actually, she called twice. The first time, I answered but I didn't know what you'd want me to say, so I didn't say much. The second time she left a message, I must've been in a dead spot. But yeah, she said she needed to talk to you about the Academy? Something about living arrangements? I thought they were letting you stay with them 'til your arm was better. Speaking of that, do you need a doctor while you're here? Billy said he knows-" _

The machine cut Charlie off, but I didn't care. We'd figure out what to do about my recovery later. I wasn't scheduled to have my cast off for another three weeks, and I could basically do all of my physical therapy on my own.

Saturday crawled on, eventually turning into Sunday. I unplugged every phone in the house except for the one attached to the answering machine that I had figured out how to mute. I turned the ringer off on that one. I called Charlie and told him if he needed me, to call my cell. He asked if I needed him to come home, and I told him no, to have fun and I would see him the next day. I spent most of Sunday in my room listening to old CD's, looking at my yearbooks, and trying not to cry.

Monday dawned and I trudged downstairs to see if there was anything other than pizza that I could eat for breakfast. The only thing that looked remotely appealing was an apple and a Diet Coke. I ate while staring blankly out of the window.

It was an atypical sunny day in Forks. The dew on the grass and the leaves shimmered in the morning light. For the first time in forty-eight hours I was motivated to do something other than wallow in self pity. I suddenly wanted to go for a walk.

I headed upstairs and grabbed a pair of jeans, not bothering to shower. I wasn't going far. I found my hiking boots in the bottom of my closet, as well as an old Forks High athletic shirt, and wrestled to get it on over my cast. Walking across the hall, I went into Charlie's room and grabbed a jacket and a ball cap to put over my greasy hair.

I walked back down the stairs and headed out the door. It was a mild morning for late fall, the air was humid and soft on my skin. I headed down the steps and toward the side yard, in the direction of the path that Jake and I had carved out in the woods during high school. The trail was now overgrown with ferns and vines, which made me a little more than nervous. I walked until I was just out of sight of the house, in a spot where the sun was shining brightly through the trees. Sitting down on a log, I began thinking about Edward, wishing that I could show him this place. I wondered if it would be inspiring to him. I wondered if I had ever really been an inspiration to him, or if I had simply been the embodiment of the dream woman in his painting. Silent tears trickled down my cheeks and I brushed them away. I sat for a long time, remembering the lines of his face, the way he would softly touch my arm or my neck when he spoke to me. My stomach tightened as I remembered the way his eyes smoldered when he looked at me.

When the sun was directly above me, I shrugged out of Charlie's jacket and stood, draping it over my bad arm. Time had slipped by quickly this morning. I stretched up onto my tip-toes, feeling the blood move through my legs. I took a step, and then another quick one, and before I was cognizant of what I was doing, I twirled around. My head swished a little from the sudden movement, and I giggled in spite of myself. How silly I must have looked, standing in the middle of the woods dancing.

I reached up with my one good arm and swept it down across my body, feeling my muscles tighten into the form they were accustomed to. I bent my knees into a demi plie' and shot one leg out behind me, sweeping it back to the front of my body as I pivoted to the other side of where I stood. I smiled for the first time in days. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack and a rustling. I froze. I knew that there were animals of all sizes in these woods, but I no longer felt alone. I scurried back over to the path and began briskly walking back to the house.

Once inside, I stopped through the kitchen and took the roll of plastic wrap from under the sink. I needed to take a shower, and I knew that I would have to cover my arm. I marched up the stairs and turned on the radio in my room, letting the sounds of the pop station fill my head with asinine lyrics as I undressed.

With my arm wrapped up like a leftover, I turned on the hot water full force and climbed into the shower. The heat of the spray relaxed me, washing away the grime and tears of the last three days. I carefully washed my hair and body, and even considered shaving my legs. I decided against it, telling myself that standing in the shower like a flamingo while home alone was not the safest idea.

The water began to run cool, so I turned it off and wrapped myself in a towel then headed to my room to dress. I picked my bag up for the first time since I'd arrived, placing it on my bed. From it I removed the little evening bag I'd carried Friday and the few pairs of jeans I'd thrown in, finally reaching my favorite hoodie. I found a tank in one of my dresser drawers and slid it over my body, not even bothering with a bra since I had nowhere to go.

I dressed and combed out my hair then put on some powder and lip gloss, determined to look half-alive when Charlie came home. When I felt I looked presentable, I headed downstairs to the kitchen to see if I could find a menu for the Chinese restaurant.

I had just decided on the pork lo mein when I heard the sound of car doors slamming outside. I looked up at the clock – it was already four in the afternoon. Charlie and Billy came through the back door, greeting me with smiles and hugs.

"Bella! Good to see you, girl!" Billy said as I bent down to squeeze him. "Looks like you started a fad, little lady. Jake called this afternoon and said that he was heading into town, too. I was just telling your old man that you guys should come out and see us tomorrow."

I was shocked. I hoped that Jake wasn't coming home to check on me, but I knew that he was. He wouldn't be able to stand not knowing what was going on.

"Really? That's great," I replied, forcing a smile. "We could do that, right Dad?"

"Well, Bells, I've got to work tomorrow. You can go, though."

"Oh," I grimaced. "I don't know how I'd get there, though," I said, pointing to my arm.

"Well, Jake said that he'd be here by nine," Billy answered. "He was taking an early flight and renting a car. If you want, you can ride home with me and Jake can bring you home, or you can just stay over. We'd love to have you."

"Really?" I asked. As much as I had been shocked to hear that Jake was coming home, I was suddenly desperate to get to him. I needed my best friend.

"Sure, Bells," Charlie piped in. "You've been cooped up in the house all weekend. Why don't you order us all something for dinner? We can eat and then you can head out the Res with Billy. Sound good?"

"Sounds great," I replied, suddenly smiling genuinely. "So, what'll it be, boys? Shrimp fried rice or Kung-Pow chicken?"

**

Once we were finished with dinner, I went to grab my bag, making sure that I had a change of clothes just in case I decided to stay. I clomped back down the stairs and kissed Charlie on the cheek, reminding him to plug all of the phones back in before he went to bed.

"Speaking of phone calls, did you ever call Ms. Cullen back?" he asked.

"No," I answered, biting the inside of my cheek. "I'll call her in the morning, Dad, okay?"

"Alright, Bella, be careful and tell Jake I said hi."

I headed outside where Billy was waiting for me in the van. We made small talk about the differences in Chicago and Forks weather during the fifteen minute ride to the Black's house. Billy was the opposite of Charlie, he wasn't much for long periods of silence. He'd rather talk about nothing than to not talk at all.

When we arrived, the driveway was empty. I helped Billy get out of the van and we made our way into the house. It was warm and cozy inside the little bungalow, and I smiled as I remembered all of the times Jake and I had gotten in trouble practicing our dance routines in the middle of the living room. Billy didn't mind our dancing, but too much jumping always led to one of his many Native American collectibles falling onto the floor. Luckily, only two had ever been broken beyond repair.

Billy turned the television on and found a football game while I went out to the garage to grab us both a soda. We sat watching the Sea Hawks until I saw headlights through the front windows.

In a matter of seconds, Jake was through the door, scooping me up out of my seat in a giant bear hug.

"Oh my god! You're alive!" he said, beaming.

"Yeah, physically," I said, looking up at him sheepishly. I prayed that he wouldn't be angry with me for not returning his calls.

"Dad! You're looking good, old man!" Jake turned as he spoke to his father. The two exchanged a brief hug before Jake turned his attention back to me.

"I'm not the only person who cares about you, you know that? I can't believe you would just up and leave without telling anyone!"

"Jake," I started, "it's complicated. I couldn't stay and let them tear me down! I didn't want to be humiliated, so I ran. And I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do, or the most mature, but…" I gasped. Somehow, I had contracted the worse case of diarrhea of the mouth known to man. I had hoped to have this conversation later, in private, but here I was pouring out my soul in front of Billy, God, and anyone else who could hear. Tears threatened to choke out my words, but I had to get it all out before I lost the nerve. "They were going to send me home anyway, Jake! I heard Esme say it! It never made sense that I was there, or that they would like me, or that Edward-"

"What about me?" I heard the most beautiful voice say from the doorway. I looked up to see him, standing there with his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on me, worried. How did he get here?

"You…" I whispered, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. I was incapable of answering as I took in a ragged breath. He was beautiful, he was perfect, and he was _here_.

I heard Billy whistle quietly as he left the room. Jake stepped out of my line of vision, and I tentatively took a step toward the door.

"No," Edward said, his brow furrowed. "No, don't. Don't run to me and throw yourself in my arms. I'm not sure that's what I want anymore, Bella. How could you leave without telling me? Do my feelings not mean anything to you? Do you not know how much I need you? Did you ever stop thinking of yourself long enough to wonder what affect your actions would have on anyone else? My sister is worried sick about you, thinking that you hate her and that you're never coming back. My mother is in the same state. They're both berating me for trying to do something I considered to be a romantic gesture at the performance Friday night! Is that what you were going to say? That Edward what, Bella? Embarassed you? Made a fool of you? Trust me, the only one here who has been made a fool is me. I am the fool for thinking that I could trust anyone. I'm double the fool for thinking I could trust you with my heart."

He stopped then, taking heavy breaths as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

I looked toward Jake, who was standing there, his mouth agape at what had just happened.

"I think I need to go back to Charlie's," I whimpered in his direction. I was silently pleading him not to question me.

"Yeah," he whispered, looking over his shoulder. Edward was on the porch – I could hear him pacing through the open doorway.

I followed Jake outside, my head hanging low and my hair creating a curtain around my face. As badly as I wanted to look at Edward, I couldn't bear to see his face. Instead, I stared at my shoes as I walked. Jake unlocked the car and I slid into the passenger seat, not bothering with my seat belt as I sat there, waiting to leave.

When we reached the end of the drive, Jake finally spoke.

"Wow. That was…wow."

"What was that, Jake? Why did he come here? So he could humiliate me?"

"Bella, honestly sweetie, do you think I'd let him fly all the way here just to do that? No, baby doll, he was worried sick about you. It was his idea to come out here. I wasn't the one who paid for the tickets or the car. Esme even took care of me missing classes. Hell, Bella, he even drove in from Seattle, so we'd get here faster."

"Then _why_? Why would he say such a thing? How can this be my fault? I'm not the one who kept a secret, Jake. He had to know that I was getting dismissed. He had to know that Friday was going to be my final experience with Joffery. Why would he try to turn this around on me?"

"Bella, why would you think you're getting kicked out?"

"I heard Esme say it."

I recapped the conversation that I'd overheard, as well as what Esme had said to me the night of the performance and the message she'd left with Charlie.

"I don't know what to say, Bella. Edward never mentioned anything about it. Are you sure?"

"I don't know what else it could be, Jake."

We rode in silence for the last few minutes. Neither of us really knew what to say. When we reached my house, Jake leaned over and pecked me on the cheek.

"Hey," he said, looking me square in the eye. "We're going to figure this out. I don't think that the Cullens would kick you out of the Academy just because you were in an accident; but I will ask Edward and I will get to the bottom of it all. I'm on team Bella, okay?"

"Okay," I shrugged, climbing out of the car.

"And Bells?" Jake called out before I shut the door. "Do me a favor? Don't stay mad at him. Boys in love do crazy things."

I sighed and nodded and walked up the drive.

**

Charlie was fast asleep on the couch. I tip-toed up the stairs and went straight to my room, practically throwing myself across my bed as I began sobbing. I had seen Edward, and I had somehow managed to ruin that moment right along with everything else in my life. I groaned at my stupidity and my utter failure at life. The shaking of my body caused something on the bed to dig into my side, and I sat up, wiping my face on my sleeve to see what the offending object could be.

The beaded evening bag that I had carried the night of the performance – the night that everything had gone to hell – was sitting there, staring at me from my rumpled sheets. I picked it up and threw it, sort of, across the room, its contents spilling out as it hit the floor beside my closet. I took a deep breath and stood up. I needed to put on some pajamas, though I doubted that I would rest at all.

I stripped off my clothes and grabbed my old gym shorts and a sweatshirt. Pulling them on, I bent down to see if my old slippers were still in the closet. As I did, I noticed the program from the recital peeking out from inside the purse. It was the only thing that hadn't fallen out. I took it out and unfolded it, running my hand across the heavy paper as I read.

_A Season to Remember:_

_A showcase of new talent _

_Presented by_

_The Academy of Dance_

_and_

_The DePaul School of Music_

I flipped the pages open and began reading the biographies of the directors of each school. Each was a laundry list of accomplishments and accolades. On the opposite side, a list of the night's participants was printed. I turned the page again to find the evening's order of performances. Each one listed the musician and the name of their composition, along with any accompanying musical performers. Opposite the musicians were the dancers' names along with their year in the Academy.

I read through the names, only a few sounding familiar and was shocked when I reached the final entry.

_Edward Cullen…. Seraphim Lullaby_

_Isabella Swan*… First Year Student_

_*Due to circumstances beyond her control, Ms. Swan is not performing in tonight's recital. Mr. Cullen has chosen to not be accompanied by another dancer, and will play the piece as a solo endeavor._

_The painting displayed is "Gazing into Her Eyes," a piece by local artist, Louise Howard, and is from Mr. Cullen's private collection._

I was floored. Edward has chosen to not have anyone dance to his song, and instead displayed the painting that had, in some strange way, brought us together. I felt a quiet moan escape my lips as my burning eyes welled up once more. I flipped the page, snuffling as I made out the words. These were dedications from the dancers and the musicians. My eyes flew to find Edward's, curious to see who he had chosen to acknowledge.

_Edward Cullen: Tonight's performance, and every performance for the rest of my existence, is dedicated to the woman who has taught my heart to love. You have given me a world that is new and beautiful, you have given me a reason to compose, and you have given me the family I never knew I could have. My life has meaning now that you are in it, because you are my life now. I love you, Bella._

The sounds coming from my body were indescribable. I clutched the program to my chest and wailed into my room, unable to form a coherent thought. My breath caught in my chest as I realized what Edward was talking about at Jake's. He thought I knew about this! Did he think that I had run because of it?

Edward Cullen – Edward mother freaking Cullen – had professed his love for me for all the world to see and I had reciprocated by hopping on a plane to fly halfway across the country.

This was what Rose meant when she spoke of the Cullens and their grand gestures. This is what Jake was talking about when he said he'd run to Vegas. 

_This is what Edward meant when he said he'd made a mistake in trusting me with his heart._

I ran down the stairs, stopping to grab the keys to my truck from the hook beside the door. Bad arm be damned, I needed to get back to Jake's and I needed to get there _now. _ I had to see Edward. I had to make this right. I had to tell him that I felt the same way, and that I had let my insecurities get the best of me and that I was scared and stupid. I had to hold him, to hear him, to breathe him.

He was beautiful, he was perfect, and he was only fifteen minutes away.

And _he loved me_.

* * *

Love is good!


	17. Chapter 17

The truck was easier to drive than I remembered, but that could have been due to the adrenaline that was pulsing through my body. I also didn't feel the usual pinch of pain as I turned the key in the ignition with my braced hand. I steered with my broken arm, thankful that there weren't too many turns between Jake's house and mine. In my rush to get there, I hadn't bothered to change my clothes and now I was trembling from the chill in the air – or maybe it was the flood of emotions – I couldn't be sure.

I grunted as the truck bobbed over the hump that was the beginning of the Black's driveway. My headlights bounced up and down, trailing light across the house, the shiny rental car, and finally the porch.

The door slipped open and Jacob's profile came into view. He glanced back at the house, the turned his attention to the truck. Squinting into the flood of light, he began to descend the steps. I took a shaky breath and cut the ignition, trying to not let my nerves get the best of me.

Before I could blink, Jake threw open the driver's side of the truck and stood there, his breath making faint smoke patterns in the air between us. I shivered and leaned toward him, afraid to say anything for fear of losing control of my emotions. His warm arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me toward himself, not bothering to release me when my feet softly hit the ground.

"He's pretty pissed."

That was all he had to say to open the floodgates. I turned my face into his chest and let out a heavy sigh. As warm tears trickled from my eyes and onto his shirt, he hugged me tighter. Sniffling, I looked up at him.

"Do you think," I started, "that he'll talk to me? I was so wrong, Jacob, I know that now. I didn't know about the dedication. I didn't know that he felt that way."

"How could you not know, Bells?" he asked, incredulous. "He's been nuts over you since the first day you walked into that apartment; any fool could see that."

"I guess I'm not just any fool," I replied, taking a step back and wiping my face with my sleeve.

"Well, you're some kind of stupid, then. Don't get me wrong, Bella, you know I love you, but you can be so…dense sometimes!" he paused, laughing at himself. He looked back down at me and his face grew serious again. "Sweetie, have you ever seen the way Sam looks at me? The way I look at him?"

"Yeah, it's obvious that you love each other," I said, wondering where this was going.

"Exactly," he said as he began to lead me up toward the porch. "Even from the outside looking in, anyone can see that we adore one another. Most people, with the exception of you of course, don't even have to ask if we're in a relationship. They see the way we interact with one another and they just _know_.

"Don't you see, Bell? That's how everyone else sees you and Edward. The way you look at him with such adoration; the way he looks at you, like he's ready to die for you at any given moment? Bella, you love him and he loves you. Do you have any idea how precious that is? Do you have any idea what you've done?"

My knees felt weak and I shivered. Unable to speak, I stood there, staring blankly at Jake.

"Let's get you inside, baby doll," he said as he stepped past me to open the front door.

I walked past him into the warmth of the house, looking around for any sign of Edward. The living room and kitchen were empty, so I assumed Edward was in the back of the house. I was about to ask when the phone in the kitchen began ringing.

"Sit down and grab a blanket," Jacob instructed as he walked toward the phone. Picking it up, he glanced at me as he began responding to the person on the other line.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, she's here… No, you don't have to…yeah, she's fine… I don't know…Sure, sure… I'll tell him." Jake rolled his eyes as he placed the handset back into the cradle.

"That was Charlie," he explained as he walked across the room and headed toward the hall. "He's beyond pissed that you drove down here in the truck. I told him you were here and you're fine, but he's still on his way down."

_Great,_ I thought,_ of all the times to audition for Dad of the Year. _

"Where are you going?" I asked before he could disappear.

"To let my dad know that you're here," he called out.

I sank back into the couch, pulling the blanket up around my shoulder as best I could with one hand. The house was eerily quiet, with the exception of Jake and Billy's muffled voices coming from the back room. I wondered again where Edward was, and was about to ask Jake when the thought was interrupted.

"Bella?" I heard a gruff voice that I immediately recognized as Billy's call from down the hallway.

"You better get in there," Jake said, reappearing from the blackness of the hallway. "He doesn't rise from the dead for just anyone, you know."

I stood up and headed down the hall, feeling a bit of relief as Jake swept his hand across my cheek in passing. I ducked into Billy's room, the dim light from his bedside lamp making him appear years older than I knew he was.

"Bella," he started, his voice gruff. "Bella, I don't know what all this is about. Your dad is on the way, so I won't bother getting myself in the middle of it, but you're all adults. Whatever happened between you and that boy, well, that's between the two of you. I just want you to know that you're loved here, no matter what. I have a sneaking suspicion that you're loved by all _three_ of the men in this house right now."

I smiled; looking down at the floor, not willing to meet Billy's eyes for fear that I might start crying again. Billy had always been such a wonderful father to Jake, and to me. Even though I had Charlie, Billy was better at the whole heartfelt part of being a dad.

"I know what a young man in love looks like, Bella," he continued. "Believe it or not, I was one not so many years ago. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need to tonight, but you have to make this right with him."

"Bella?" I knew he wanted me to look at him. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was about to say something that I might not want to hear. I lifted my eyes to look at his face. His expression was soft, but his eyes were stern.

"The good things in life don't come easily. Don't run away from something good just because you're scared of the bad that might come with it."

"Okay," I whispered, my voice cracking a bit.

"Now go find that boy and work it out," he said, as he reclined back onto his pillow. "Charlie will be here soon, I'm sure. If you need me, let me know. Otherwise, I need my beauty rest."

I chuckled and assured him I would as I stepped out of the room, pulling the door closed behind me.

I turned toward the living room and took a step in that direction. A strong arm reached out of Jake's room and pulled me in, shutting the door quickly behind us.

"Here," Jake's voice whispered to me in the darkness. A soft…something, was thrown in my direction and landed at my feet. I couldn't see what or where it was in the pitch black.

"What are you doing, Jake?" I loudly whispered back to him.

He switched on his desk lamp and pointed to floor at my feet, where a pair of black sweatpants lay at my feet.

"Put those on, you hairy wildebeest!" he hissed. "I'm just looking out for you, unless you want to lure Senor Sex-Hair with cricket noises. You'll thank me later, trust me," he said, winking.

I laughed as I turned to sit on the bed so I could pull the pants on.

"You're right, Jake. Thanks," I said.

"He's down at the beach," he told me. "He said that he needed some time to think without any distractions. To be honest, I'm glad he did – he was being a total prick to my dad. Luckily, Billy seems to be pretty understanding about it."

"Well, he has always prided himself of being 'down with the kids' you know," I smirked.

"I told Edward what you said," Jake blurted out, his eyes staring blankly out of the window.

"Told who what…You WHAT?" I croaked.

"I told him that you think you're getting kicked out. He didn't seem to know anything about it, Bella."

"He's been gone for a good bit, so he should be back soon. Of course, Charlie will be here soon, too." Jake walked over and pulled the drawstring on the pants tight, then tied them into a little slipknot. "Don't need you dropping your pants while your dad's here. Now chin up, sweets. Figure this out so we can get back to Chicago, okay?"

"Aren't you coming with me?" I asked.

"For what?" he asked. "You'll be fine, Bells. Just say what you need to say, and then let him speak his piece. I'm gonna jump in the shower, but I'll keep an ear out, okay? If you really need me, I'll be right here."

I nodded in agreement as I stepped out into the hallway and headed toward the light of the living room. As I turned the corner, a flicker of bronze caught the corner of my eye near the front door. I froze, suddenly unable to run to him the way I had envisioned myself doing just moments ago.

He looked at me – his face a mask of indifference and pain – and my heart stopped cold. Had I done this to him? I stepped toward him slowly. His body tensed, as if he were afraid that I was going to strike him.

"Hi," I whispered, begging my eyes to convey my apology.

"Hello," Edward nodded, his tone tense and formal. Hanging his jacket beside the door, he walked past me into the kitchen, where he proceeded to open the fridge and stare at what seemed like nothing at all.

I stood there for a moment, trying to find the words to say. Where was verbal diarrhea when you needed it? He shut the door of the refrigerator and turned so lean against it, still avoiding eye contact. I let out a heavy sigh and began to speak.

"I'm not good at this."

He turned his head toward me, but still didn't meet my eyes. Instead, he huffed at me and studied a spot on the floor.

"Obviously," he replied.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I should've said something to you, but I was scared. What I did was wrong – in so many ways. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He grunted again and shifted his weight, still looking past me. My mind felt empty, I didn't know what to say or do. Part of me wanted to run to him, to hug him and shower him in kisses and beg for his forgiveness. Another part wanted to run away from him again, because the hostility in the room was beginning to suffocate me.

"Can we at least sit down?" I asked.

Edward walked past me into the living room, slumping down into the recliner as I took a seat on the couch. I opened my mouth to speak, but my thought was interrupted by heavy footfalls on the steps. Edward's eyes narrowed and mine rolled. I knew that Charlie would probably do more embarrassing than parenting and I really, really didn't want to deal with him right now.

Charlie flung the door open and glared at Edward briefly before turning his attention to me.

"Jesus, Bella!" he blurted out. "What on earth's gotten into you?"

"Sorry, Daddy, you were asleep! I didn't want to bother you. Everything's fine, though, don't worry."

"Don't worry?" he asked incredulously. "Don't worry she says!" he directed to Edward. "Who are you?"

Edward stood and stretched out a hand to my father. "Edward Cullen, sir. I apologize that we're meeting under these circumstances."

"Cullen, huh?" Charlie huffed, briefly grasping Edward's hand before releasing it and turning back to me.

"So, let me make sure I've got this right," he started. "You use up all your emergency money to get home, never bothering to tell me what's going on or why you ran from Chicago. You spend the entire weekend sulking around the house, not answering the phone for anyone other than me, and then you run out in the middle of the night and drive, in your condition, out to the Res for God knows what – and I'm not supposed to be worried?"

"Well…" I muttered. He had a point.

"Well? Well what, Bella? You might be an adult by the standard of the law, but you're still _my child_. To see you the way you were a few days ago… I've never been so scared for you. Now you go pull a crazy stunt like this and I'm just supposed to roll over on the couch and go back to sleep? Jesus! _You're acting like your mother!_"

I recoiled from his words, a small part of me knowing that he was right.

"Charlie! Long time no see!" Jake called from down the hallway.

I breathed a sigh of relief and laughed inwardly as he sauntered toward us, wearing only his pajama bottoms and socks.

"Jake," Charlie acknowledged him tersely. If there was one thing Charlie wasn't comfortable with, it was shirtless men. He was a conservative in every sense of the word, and had often scolded Jake about his penchant for walking around half-naked.

In spite of that, Jake walked right over to Charlie and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a bear hug. My dad stood there, arms dangling at his sides, until Jake was finished.

"Good to see you, Charlie!" he smiled. "See? Told you she was fine," he said, nodding in my direction. "I can't help it she just can't stay away from me," Jake continued to goad. "Sorry you wasted the gas, man. Hey, did you meet Edward? His mom is the one who awarded the scholarship to me and Bella."

"So, you're one of _the_ Cullens?" Charlie said to Edward, turning away from Jake.

"Yes, sir."

"So," Charlie asked, "you live in Chicago, too?"

"Yes, I attend the DePaul School. I'm studying to be a composer."

"Hmpf," Charlie breathed. I knew he was probably thinking something along the lines of "_Rich kids and their useless degrees,"_ and I was thankful that he didn't say it out loud.

"I suppose I owe you my thanks then, for your family taking care of Bella. Although, after the way she looked when she got off that plane Saturday morning, I'm not so sure about how _well_ she was taken care of."

"I understand how you feel, sir," Edward said, his voice become quiet. "I assure you that my family has been happy to take care of Bella. Apparently there was a misunderstanding, which led to her taking an abrupt leave."

"Charlie, why don't you let me take your jacket if you're going to stay a while?" Jake asked, putting one hand on Charlie's shoulder. My dad glanced up at Jake and shrugged a little, effectively shaking Jake's hand away. Jake peeked up at me and winked.

"Yeah, uh," Charlie said, looking back and forth between Edward and me as he started to stand. "I guess I'll just go back to the house." He turned to me and the expression on his face was concerned but no longer angry. "I guess I've got to let you go at some point, Bells. When you figure whatever this is out, come on home. Just do me a favor and have someone bring you, okay? I don't want you driving that monster with your arm all messed up. Hell, I can barely steer the thing with the two good arms I have."

"Jake, good to see you," he nodded, making it clear that he wasn't interested in any more contact with Jake's bare torso.

"Nice meeting you, Edward," he said, nodding in Edward's direction.

"You too, sir," Edward replied, standing. "Someone will make sure Bella gets home safely."

"Yep, good," Charlie replied, looking at me with tired eyes once more before turning to walk out the door. "See you in the morning, Bells."

After my father was gone and I had thanked Jake for helping to get rid of him, I took my seat on the sofa again. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Edward's voice.

"You really shouldn't have- I mean, _I_ should have…or maybe I shouldn't have, or… said something first."

"No," I replied, as I watched him rake his hands through his hair in frustration. "You don't…I mean…that wasn't- I didn't come here because..." My voice trailed off, trying to catch up with my thoughts.

"Do you two need a judge for the stuttering contest, or is it alright if I go to bed?" Jake asked as he walked from the kitchen toward the hall.

"We're fine, thank you," Edward replied. I smiled at Jake and nodded, letting him know that I was okay.

Jake disappeared down the hallway and I looked up at Edward.

"Please, can I just say what I need to say?" I questioned.

"Fine," he said. "Let me say this, though," he turned his body toward me, looking me in the eyes for the first time. "I have never been one to trust easily, Bella. When I met you my whole world turned upside down. There was an inexplicable connection that I felt with you, and I acted outside of my comfort zone because of the way I felt. When you left…" he paused, running his hands back through his hair and down his face.

"When you left, Bella, it hurt in a way that I've never experienced before. This is not what I do. I don't chase people halfway across the country. But you…you're…" he cut himself off, and I longed for him to finish his statement. I was what?

"Tell me, Bella. Tell me why," he asked.

"I ran because I thought that you didn't want me," I confessed.

"Didn't want you?" he asked, his voice full of confusion and pain. "Didn't you see-?"

"No. Well, yes," I stumbled over my words. I had to focus, to get this entire justification on the table before I lost the nerve. It would be so easy to get wrapped up in the emotion of this moment, but that would do me no good.

"I came here because I felt like leaving on my own would be easier to deal with than being told I wasn't welcome anymore." Saying words aloud pained me. It was one thing to have the idea running thorough my head, but it was another thing entirely to admit the defeat to someone else.

"Bella, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Esme was talking on the phone with someone the day that we went to pick up my dress for the recital," I explained.

Finally! My verbal run-off had kicked in! I seized the moment and continued, in spite of the tears that were welling up in my swollen eyes.

"Then, the night of the performance, she told me that she wanted to talk to me about my future with the Academy, and I just couldn't bear the thought being told to leave - of not being with you.

"It never seemed feasible, you and me. I don't fit, Edward! I'm a mess, a klutz, a simple girl from a very simple place. I understood it made sense that I would be sent home. So I ran, Edward, and even then I couldn't get away from you."

This was the point where I wanted our lives to be a Lifetime movie. _Girl cries. Cue boy wrapping her in his arms and telling her he understands._ Sadly, we weren't in a movie and he wasn't budging. I continued.

"I saw the program from the performance… I saw it just before I got here. I was so busy worrying about myself that night that I didn't take the time to look at it. I saw those beautiful words and your beautiful heart and suddenly… suddenly I didn't care if I was dancing at Joffrey or not dancing at all!

I furiously wiped my nose down my sleeve, not caring how disgusting I was. The tears were flowing freely now. Edward sat there, staring at me in disbelief.

I'd never felt more exposed as I sat there sniffling and shivering on the couch. I'd hurt him – just like everyone else in his life had – and now I would have to earn back his trust. I wondered briefly if that was even possible.

He reached his hand toward my face, but then pulled back before making contact with my cheek. Sliding his arms across one another, he began to speak.

"Why would you ever think that Esme was talking about you?" he asked, his voice stern. I stared at him, not comprehending what he was saying.

"It killed her when she found out that you had taken off Friday night. She's still reeling because you won't return her calls. In fact, she's the one who told me that I had to come here. My instructions were to bring you back."

"But she…" I started.

"That's her story to tell," he interrupted. "As far as my involvement in all this, I'm not sure what to make of your excuses. Running is easier than dealing with things? Really, Bella, what are you, thirteen?"

I blushed, shaking my head. "No…I mean, I didn't know. Please believe me when I say that I would never run because of what you did."

"But you _did_ run. What was I supposed to think?" he asked as his eyes lowered. "I was told that you left in the middle of my piece. Why?"

When he looked back at me, his face was full of sorrow and hurt, as if I had physically harmed him by not listening to his music. I swallowed thickly, instantly remorseful for having caused him any type of pain. I knew I had to say something, but I was so afraid that I wouldn't say that it wouldn't be the right thing.

"What I did hear was absolutely breathtaking," I admitted. "It was so rich and complex… Please, Edward, please believe me when I say that nothing you did that night was a catalyst for my actions."

"Not everyone sees it that way," he said. "In fact, my sister-in-law had a few choice words with me after the performance. After Rosalie told me that you had gone home early and that you had been crying, she scolded me for not saying anything to you beforehand. She assumed that you were embarrassed by the dedication. I think there's still a knot on my head where she cracked me for it."

I giggled in spite of the serious moment, imagining Rose using her purse to smack Edward. I quickly stifled it, knowing that this was no time to seem distracted.

"I hope you'll believe me when I say this, Edward. Every moment I've ever had with you is special. The way I feel when I'm with you or even thinking of you – it's like I'm a complete person."

"I want to believe that, Bella. In fact, before you left, I desired it more than water or air. Your presence in my life awakened the human in me. I was thrilled because I wasn't just surviving day to day – I was living. When you left I remembered why I had closed off for so long. I'd forgotten what it was like to be hurt by someone other than myself."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, reaching for his hand. He pulled away, so that he was just barely out of my reach.

"These last few days have been hell," Edward continued. "Every single one of us was worried sick about you. Alice has been locked in her room crying, forbidding Jasper or me to come within ten feet of the door. Carlisle's beside himself, worried about your recovery. Esme has been a basket case, calling everyone she knows trying to get information.

"By Sunday she was ready to burst. She even called your old dance teacher, and Mimi was the one who suggested sending Jake to come after you. So, Esme booked the flight, called the Academy, and told me to pack a bag. For some reason, she thought that I would be the one to convince you to come back. To be honest, I don't think I was the right person for such a duty."

"I wish you didn't feel that way," I said, mindlessly twirling a strand of hair around my fingers.

"Bella, doesn't that hurt?" Edward asked, his expression confused.

I looked down at my hand, surprised that the action actually caused me little discomfort.

"Not really," I answered, amazed.

"Looks like Carlisle was right. What about your other arm?"

"It's getting there. I'm so ready for this cast to come off… to go back to the way things used to be."

"The way they used to be? You mean before you came to Chicago and got tangled up in the wild world of Cullens?" His tone went from very concerned to venomous in two seconds flat.

"No!" I back-tracked. "I didn't mean that at all! I meant before I was injured, before I ran, before I hurt you."

"Right." he stated, an edge still cutting through his tone.

"Do you think that you could ever forgive me?" I asked.

Would he forgive me? Could he? Could his family? I knew that I had hurt much more than Edward. I'd hurt my friends and the people that had gone out on a limb to help me when I was down. I suddenly felt like an unbearably bad person.

"Forgive you?" he responded. "Forgiveness isn't an answer to a question, Bella. Forgiveness isn't something that's granted like a favor. For me to forgive you would mean that you would have to understand what you've done – not how awful you feel because you've done it."

I sat there, silently wishing that I could erase what he'd just said from my memory. I felt helpless in that moment, clinging to how I felt about Edward while knowing that I may never be able to tell him how I felt. How could I bring that up now? It would look like just another cop-out. I was sure that he would see it as a desperate move, and not a reflection of what was going on in my heart.

"What you did for me was the single most wonderful, beautiful thing anyone has ever done. I know that I owe you an apology for being so wrapped up in myself that I didn't take the time to even glance at the damn program. Had I been able to see past all of the drama I'd created in my head, we probably wouldn't be sitting here right now. I don't deserve your forgiveness, much less your understanding."

As I looked at him, looking for any sign that the wall that he had put up around himself was starting to recede. He stared back at me stoically.

"I know I've hurt you," I continued, hoping to say something, anything, to make him see how serious I was about this. "Since that first night in the apartment, when we met in the living room, I have hoped and prayed that you would see me that way… that you would feel the same way. I would give anything to tell you exactly how I feel right now, but I know I want to make that special for you, too, Edward. I don't want it tainted with all of the bad things that have happened in the last few days.

"And I swear - I swear on my life, Edward – if you never want to hear it, I'll never say it. I just want you to know that I do feel it, and I do want this, and I don't want to lose you."

"You should probably be getting home," he said as he stood. "I suppose I could take you since everyone else is sleeping – unless you would be more comfortable with Jake…"

"No, that's fine. I mean, if you don't mind."

"I did promise your father," he replied.

**

The drive back to Charlie's in the rental car was silent for the most part. I only spoke to navigate the trip. Fifteen minutes later, we were pulling into the drive. I was relieved that the only light in the house was coming from my room. That meant that Charlie wasn't waiting up for me.

"Thank you," I said, turning to face Edward.

"Stay there," he said as he exited the driver's seat. He walked around the car and opened my door, taking my hand to help me up out of the seat.

As I straightened my legs to stand, his arms wrapped around me and pulled me to him gently. Every muscle in my body contracted, then released so quickly that I felt as if my entire form was made of dough. I pressed my face into his chest, allowing the sobs and cries of regret and joy to course through me freely.

"Shh," he breathed against my hair. "No more tears."

"I'm sorry," I sputtered. For a brief moment, I felt hope – hope that he had let his guard down and that maybe the Edward that I loved was back. As soon as I felt it, he was gone again.

"I think we've had enough apologies for one night" he whispered as he pulled away from me.

"But –"I started.

"No – no buts," he spoke firmly. "I'm leaving in the morning. I called the airline while I was out earlier, but Jacob will be staying a few more days."

"You're leaving?" I asked, my voice sounding a bit whinier than I would have liked.

"Yes, Bella, I need to get back. I think it's for the best that I give you some time to think about things."

I didn't want time to think! I wanted him to stay. I wanted to go with him. I wanted any outcome that didn't involve being without him.

Taking in a deep breath, I vainly attempted to steel my nerves before walking up the path to the house.

"I'll see you when…if…you get back," he said.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," I replied. "Thanks for the ride, and for listening to me. I hope you know that I meant everything I said."

"I should say the same, Bella. Goodnight."

With that, he walked back toward the driver's side of the car and climbed in, firing up the ignition and pulling away from the curb to leave me standing there, dumbly staring after him.

I climbed the steps to the front door and let myself in, thankful to hear Charlie's snores coming from his room above my head. As I ascended the staircase, my body felt heavy and strangely limp. The door to my room stood open and I threw myself onto my bed without even taking off my shoes, not caring about comfort at that point.

As soon as my lids fluttered shut the image of Edward was there, looking back at me with the same pained expression that he had worn most of the night. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, saying a silent prayer to rid myself of his face, just long enough to get some rest. Unfortunately, heaven wasn't answering prayers from immature, whiny girls who never take other people's feelings into consideration tonight. I tried in vain to close my eyes again, but his face was still there.

Pulling myself up from the bed, I slid my shoes off and walked to my window. With the light shining brightly behind me, all I could really see was my reflection in the glass. The face staring back at me was both puffy and sunken, a stark contrast to the pretty girl I'd seen in the mirror at the apartment only a few days ago. With a heavy sigh I turned away from the framed night sky and switched on my ancient CD player, hoping the music would provide a distraction.

After the tray stopped clicking, the soft strains of Michael Roberts filled the room. My shoulders released slightly as my hand found the back of my chair, my feet moving into first position. Seemingly, on their own volition, my knees began to bend, and I found myself in the calming routine of my old barre warm up. With the first grand plie, I felt the tightness in my muscles, and I regretted being so stagnant the last few weeks. As I stretched I focused on the pain, because this physical ache was a pleasant distraction from the emotional torment I felt – and that I knew I had caused.

Each time my feet changed position, my resolve became clearer; I needed to go back to Chicago to finish what I had started. I knew that my cast was due off in a few weeks, and I hoped that the Academy would let me complete this semester without making me wait until after the winter break. Esme would probably want me to move out of the apartment, so I made a mental note to see if I could stay with Jake until I could find a place of my own. Of course, my scholarship may still be revoked due to my rash behavior, so I would have to find a job to pay my tuition and rent. Maybe Charlie would be able to help me out a little…or even Renee.

My thoughts wandered on as I extended and retracted my legs to the steady beats of the music. Too soon, the last notes of the adage faded away and the sound of the CD tray turning around broke my concentration. I pressed the power button and walked back toward my bed, feeling completely worn out, but resolved.

I pulled down my quilt and switched off my lamp, deciding to lie in the darkness until I fell asleep. As I snuggled into the covers, I heard the tree outside my window tapping on the glass. I glanced toward it and saw that the stars had been obscured by a thin veil of clouds. The wind continued to pick up, and somewhere between the first drops of rain on the windowsill and the first inkling of sunlight behind the clouds, I fell asleep.

**

"Oh Sleeping Beauty...it's time for you to wake up, princess…" I heard a mocking voice coo.

"Sleeping Beauty can only be awakened by true love's kiss, you asshole," I mumbled.

"Unlucky for you, Charming left on the first plane out of Seattle this morning; and I love you and all, but you're not my idea of happily ever after," he chuckled.

"Jakey," I whined, "why'd you let him leave?"

"Let him? Oh yeah, as if there was any stopping him," he said.

I opened my eyes to look at Jake and was not all surprised to find that my field of vision had been narrowed down to two slim lines. My eyes were so dry and swollen it felt like someone had taken them out in the night and replaced them with tennis balls.

"Here, lie back down and put these over your eyes," Jake said, taking two tea bags out of a tall paper cup.

"Do you really think of everything?" I asked.

"Yes, except how to get you back into Mr. Cullen's good graces – I'm still lost on that one."

"I've decided to go back," I said as the warm little baggies began to soothe my inflamed lids.

"Well, that's a start. Here – this came for you."

I felt the thud of paper on my stomach as I sat up in bed and peeled the teabags from my eyes. Blinking to adjust to the light, I looked down to see a heavy-weight ivory envelope lying there on top of my quilt. My hand was suddenly unsteady as I reached for it.

As I turned it over, my stomach twisted in knots as the elegant script that spelled out my name and address glared back at me from the envelope. It wasn't the exact same writing as Edward's, but more feminine and precise. Esme's.

Taking a deep breath, I slid my finger under the flap and tore it open. I retrieved the letter from inside and unfolded it carefully, bracing myself for what it might say.

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope that this letter finds you well. I assure you that I am not feeling the same as I write this. I'm not sure as to why you chose to leave without so much as an explanation, but I trust that your reasons were sound. _

_I feel that I owe you an apology for my actions on Friday night. So caught up in the emotion and pride of seeing my children perform, I completely disregarded your feelings that evening. For that, I am truly sorry. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to be a spectator instead of a participant that night. _

_I also feel that you deserve to know how your leaving has affected my family. Alice blames herself – her reasons for feeling that way are a mystery to me, but she is steadfast in her thinking. Rosalie has taken to blaming herself as well. She feels as if she could have stopped you from leaving the theatre Friday if she'd only known the right thing to say. Carlisle is extremely concerned for your well-being. Always the good doctor, my husband has offered to recommend a physician and a physical therapist for you is you choose to relocate to Washington permanently. _

_My own personal betrayal is dim compared to the pain I see in my son's eyes. Bella, I'm not sure you realize the profound effect you had on Edward in the short time that the two of you were together. He basked in your affection. I have never been more proud of him than I was the night of his performance. You see, Edward has always had a gift for music, but never a gift for conveying emotion. When I read the dedication he made to you in the program that night, I knew that my son had turned a corner in his life. The worries that I'd once harbored for him were transformed into hope, all because he'd finally seen himself through your eyes the way we all had seen him for years. _

_When you left, Bella, you took away that happy and bold man that had been born through your compassion. Left in the wake of your decision was the shell of a boy that was once again hurt by those closest to him. _

_Bella, it is no secret that I chose you to receive my family's scholarship and arranged for you to come to Chicago because I was astounded by your talent. What you may not know is that, from the first time I viewed your audition tape, I saw not only you, but the angelic face of Edward's painted muse. I cannot explain why I knew that you would be a part of our lives before we ever met you; I can only count it as mother's intuition. To say that I am disappointed in your abrupt departure would be a gross understatement. _

_All of that aside, I am writing this letter to inform you of a meeting being held on October 30 at the Joffery School. One of the topics of discussion will be the extension of scholarships through the winter term. If you are unable, or unwilling, to attend this meeting then I will be forced to assume you no longer have an interest in dancing with Joffrey._

_As I write this, I am still trying to reach you by phone to relay this information. Please dear, call us and let us know that you're safe. _

_I hope to see you on October 30__th__. _

_With Love,_

_Esme Cullen_

I dropped the letter onto my lap, focusing only on the measured breaths I was taking and trying not to lose my mind. I glanced up at the calendar – today was October 26th. I only had three days to get myself together and get back to Chicago to defend myself. My eyes began to sting with unshed tears, but I blinked them back, not willing to let them take me over again.

I stood and mindlessly walked around my room, collecting clothes so I could shower. I called out to Jake, who had apparently gone downstairs at some point while I was reading, and asked him to bring me a trash bag from the kitchen.

After my arm was secure in its little plastic bubble, I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and climbed into the shower. The steam soothed my swollen face as I gathered my thoughts, and by the time I stepped out onto the threadbare rug, my decision was made.

First, I would go to Chicago and defend myself to Joffrey, to Esme, and to the Board. I would do everything I could to make them see that they would be making a huge mistake by revoking my scholarship.

Second, I would apologize to each and every member of the Cullen family. I would grovel if I had to, but I would not rest until I had earned their forgiveness and the right to try to regain their trust.

Finally, I would make Edward Cullen see that I was desperately, unequivocally, and irrevocably in love with him – and I would make sure he knew that no matter what he said or did, that fact would never change.

* * *

So here we are, all caught up with what's going on over at Twilighted.

Yes, I am really behind in updating, and for that I apologize. I could give you a million reasons why, but I won't. I only hope that you'll be patient with me, and that you'll stick around to see the rest of this story - because it _will_ happen.

Love to you all!

PS - if you enjoy hearing people rant incessantly and want to know the inside scoop, follow me on Twitter! I'm poochi_mama over there....because JenniP was taken a long time ago.


	18. Chapter 18

Thank you to all of you who've recently added this story to your favorites. I appreciate it more than you know. Let me know what you think!

SM owns.

* * *

"Isabella Swan?"

Rising from my seat, I quickly took the few steps from waiting area of Dr. Kiker's office toward the back hallway where the nurse stood waiting for me. With a quick hello she ushered me toward a small exam room where the smell of plaster and disinfectant made my nose crinkle in distaste.

As I sat on the small table anticipating the doctor's arrival, I swung my feet back and forth in a vain attempt to release the nervous energy running through my body.

Charlie had been kind enough to call his insurance company and secure an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon in Port Angeles. Tomorrow, I would board a plane back to Chicago and face the Board and Esme. I prayed that I could go back sans cast, proving to them that I was ready to begin my studies at the Academy as soon as possible.

My head jerked toward the door as it opened, another nurse standing there telling me that I should follow her back to the X-ray room. As I shuffled along behind her, she looked through my thick chart that had been faxed from Chicago, muttering to herself about impatient teenagers. The nurse directed me toward a chair beside the stainless table in the room and fastened a heavy lead bib across my chest before disappearing behind a small wall in the corner of the room. As the machinery buzzed, I silently hoped that Edward had been correct when he'd mentioned that I seemed to be healing ahead of schedule.

Three buzzes of the machine later, I headed back to the exam room where I waited nervously for the doctor. After what seemed like hours, he entered the room, shuffling papers in his arm until he pulled out the slick black pages that would seal my fate.

"Miss Swan," he said curtly as he affixed the films to the backlight.

"Hi," I whispered.

"Let's see what we have here, shall we?"

He studied the x-rays carefully, but even my untrained eye could see that the bones had managed to meet each other in the middle. It was scary, seeing the pins and the plate that held them together. I suddenly felt like a science experiment – more of a freak than I already had been. I shifted on the table, hoping against hope that he would have good news.

"Well, Miss Swan, it seems that you are healing at a nice pace. I see no reason to keep you in the fiberglass cast any longer. At this point it's not doing much else than bothering you, since the bone has finally begun fusing.

"The good news is that you can walk out of here today with a protective cast. You'll be able to take this one off when you shower, which I'm sure you'll enjoy. You'll need to wear it at all other times to protect your arm, though. The bad news is that I'm also going to give you a sling to wear. In my experience, young folks tend to forget that their arms are still healing once we get these restrictive casts off of them. I'd like to see you still baby that arm for at least another two weeks until that bone has had time to really set together a bit more."

"Can I dance?" I asked, my voice trembling with anticipation and excitement.

"I can't say that dancing would be bad for you," he replied. "However, you'll have some strict limitations. I don't want you bearing any weight on that arm, do you understand? That means no lifting, no pulling, no 'catching yourself' if you go to fall. I'd rather see you fall face first than to try to stop yourself with that arm."

I chuckled inwardly, wondering if this man had any idea how easy it would be for me to fall face first regardless of trying to protect my arm.

"I understand, Dr. Kiker," I agreed. "So pretty much no partner work, but I'm okay for floor exercises and barre work?"

"Barre? Is that where you stand still and hold on to the pole on the wall?" he questioned.

"Yes, but I wouldn't lean into the barre with my bad arm, of course."

"Well, then, that sounds fine. I'll send Susan in to take off that cast, and then we'll get you fitted for your other one. We'll have you home in no time."

"Thanks," I managed as he exited the room, leaving me to wait for the nurse.

As I waited, his last words to me circled around in my head, doing little pique' turns around my heart.

"_We'll have you home in no time."_

I was going home. Not home to Charlie or home to Jake at the Res, but home to Chicago. I was going back to the place where I'd left my dreams, my hope, my new friends, and my heart.

**

"Jake, I can carry that, you know," I whined as I watched him balance my overnight bag on top of his wheeled carry-on.

"You could, Bella, but then what if you pull your arm apart doing it? I'm not risking it. You have a very important meeting in a few hours and I won't have you missing it for a trip to the ED."

"Well I do have another arm, you know."

"Yeah, but you'll be using that to get some money out of your purse to buy me a smoothie," he grinned.

Jake and I had taken the earliest flight out of Seattle that we could book, which put us getting into Chicago just before lunchtime. The way Jake figured it, we had just enough time for me to drop my bags off at his apartment and take a quick shower before I was due to be at the Academy for my meeting with the Board.

The ride to Jake's apartment in the cab was quiet for the most part. Jake called Sam to make sure that he'd gotten everything on the list that we'd emailed the night before. My best friend had once again come in clutch, making sure that when I arrived I'd have my own brand of shampoo and body wash so I wouldn't walk into the meeting smelling like a high school boy.

"Everything's there, Bells," he assured me. "You go straight up when we get there, Sam's home, so he'll let you in. I'll worry about the bags, you worry about getting yourself ready."

"Thanks, Jake," I sighed, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and lying my head against his chest.

As we drove through the streets of the city, my insides clenched as we passed the golden-doored building that had been my home just a week prior. I stole a glance out of the window up toward the apartment. Of course, in the daylight it was impossible to see anything except the reflection of the clouds off the glass, but I imagined Edward standing there.

"You should call him, sweetie," Jake whispered into my hair.

"I don't think he's ready to talk," I replied.

"You might be surprised, Bells. Hell, he might be surprised. I think it would mean the world if he didn't have to hear from his mother that you were back in town. Even if you just text him, let him know that you're here and you're safe. He'd at least want to know that much."

"I suppose," I said, reaching into my pocket for my cell. I flipped it open and quickly pecked out a message to Edward.

**Have a mtg with the board 2day. Hope ur well. **

I pressed send.

"What the hell, Bella?" Jake snapped, snatching the phone from my hand.

He flipped it back open and began furiously moving his thumbs across the keys.

"Jake! Stop!" I yelped, grabbing at the phone. When I finally got it back he'd already hit the send button.

"What did you say?"

"What you should've said the first time," he smiled.

I looked at my sent messages, my face burning as I read:

**Staying Jakes Ur welcome 2 stop by NEtime.**

"Jakey!" I moaned as I slumped down into the seat.

Jake didn't say a word. He only ran his hand across my shoulders and smirked as we drove the last few blocks to his apartment building.

**

"Isabella Swan?"

I looked up from my well-chewed fingernails at the pretty blonde standing at the conference room door. Her smile was kind and welcoming. I searched her face for a sign – anything that may remotely say 'run for the hills, girlfriend.' There was nothing there but warmth.

I slowly walked toward the heavy wooden doors, my pulse a dirge in my ears. As I passed through the doorway, I was surprised to see a small group of men and women, all relatively the same age as Esme. Scanning their faces, they all seemed to be welcoming me into the room as warmly as the secretary had moments ago. Esme stood from her chair and motioned toward an empty seat in the corner of the room.

"Miss Swan," she said cooly, her eyes kind but cautious, "have a seat, won't you?"

Obediently I sat, suddenly hyperaware of every noise that my body made as it moved.

"Miss Swan, thank you for joining us this afternoon," one of the men at the table said in a cordial way. "We are delighted that you chose to meet with the Board concerning your place with Joffrey."

"Thank you for having me," I replied, my voice strained with anxiety.

"Bella," Esme spoke, "Your cast?"

"I had it taken off by a doctor in Seattle while I was home. He said that I could wear this plastic brace until my arm was healed."

My words began running together, a sure sign that my nerves were not going to let up. I knew that I needed to let these people know that I was ready to work hard again, and that I wasn't going to run in the face of adversity anymore.

"I know it's ahead of Car-, Dr. Cullen's schedule, but the x-rays showed a definite improvement, and Dr. Kiker said that I would be able to dance as long as I didn't bear any weight on my arm. I know that it will cause some problems with my partnering class, but I was hoping maybe I could double up on my classes with some summer intensives?"

Pausing to take a breath, my train of thought was interrupted by a frail white-haired woman sitting to my left.

"Miss Swan, we're not asking you to rejoin the Academy."

My quickened pulse came to a halt. My eyes pricked with tears and my throat closed off, unable to swallow or take in air. I'm pretty sure I made some sort of squeaking sound.

"Bella, dear, are you alright?" Esme said from what seemed like a place that was far, far away.

My eyes managed to catch a glimpse of my shoes, and then the cuff of the large man's pants, and then everything was gone.

**

"Good heavens, someone call an ambulance!" a voice exclaimed, from what sounded like the inside of a large trash can.

"No, don't do that, she'll be fine," a deeper voice said. "She's already coming around, see?"

My eyes fluttered open to see eight very concerned middle-aged people and one confused elderly woman staring back at me.

"Sorry," I whispered as I made a move to get up. "Long flight, I guess."

Someone reached a hand to my elbow and helped me return to an upright position. I found my seat and waited for everyone to calm down so that they could return to telling me how and when they were sending me packing back to Washington.

"Bella, dear, would you care for some water?" Esme asked.

"No thank you, I'm really sorry. Please, continue," I said, nodding my head toward the cotton-haired woman.

"As I was saying, Miss Swan," she began, "we are not here to discuss you rejoining the Academy."

I managed something between a response and a groan as she continued.

"As the Board of Trustees, it is our desire to see that all of the dancers training with our facility are physically able to meet the demands placed on them. Not ensuring your health above all else would no doubt lead to injuries and losses of unimaginable costs to you and our foundation."

The white-haired woman prattled on about responsibilities of those in charge, and I tried to listen to what she was really saying as she spoke.

"Dear, what Mrs. Weltmyre is trying to say is that we simply can't afford to risk your well-being by allowing you re-enroll in the Academy next term."

Esme had the floor now and her voice was soothing as she went on…

"However, we also don't feel that Joffrey can afford to lose a dancer of your ability. Your talent is a rare one, Bella. Dancers with your technique and passion are few and far between. What we've come up with is a plan to keep you in the Joffrey family until the time comes that your body had recuperated enough to handle training again."

Immediately I sat at attention. Had she really just said she wanted to keep me _in the family_?

"That sounds…wonderful," I said. "How would I do that, though?"

"Effective immediately, you will be assisting Miss Masen with taking over classes for Mrs. Kebi's junior company. Mrs. Kebi will be going out on maternity leave, and has requested that she be given all of her family medical leave for the delivery and subsequent adjustment."

"I'll be…teaching?" I questioned. My mind struggled with the concept. They wanted me to be an instructor?

"Yes, you will be an apprentice of sorts," Esme replied, her smile creeping across her face.

"Your technique is flawless, Miss Swan," one of the other women on the Board stated from across the table. "When you auditioned for the recital, the judges were amazed that a first-term student was as polished technically as you were. This is quite an honor, to be chosen. I hope that you realize we did not make this decision – nor are we making this offer – lightly."

"Oh, certainly not, of course," I stammered.

An instructor? I was floored by the thought.

"You will be responsible for the technique and creative movement sections of the junior program at the Academy. You will teach three days a week, and be held accountable by Miss Masen for any creative decisions regarding showcases for your group. Are you willing to accept this position now, Miss Swan, or would you prefer time to think about it?"

"This isn't permanent, though? What will I do once the instructor returns from her leave?"

Esme sat up toward the table, leaning her arms on its glossy surface as she looked at me.

"The Board hopes that, by the time Mrs. Kebi is ready to resume her full-time employment status with Joffrey , your physical restrictions will be lifted. At that point, we will re-evaluate your status and progress and decide where within the organization you would fit best."

"Oh," I nodded. "Um, I hate to sound, well, ignorant, but will I be eligible for a scholarship again after working for the company?"

"No need to worry about that," smiled the larger man beside me. "Because of your contracted status, we will be able to provide you with adequate housing while you teach. You will receive a monthly stipend for your living necessities, such as food, clothing, et cetera. You will not be considered a full-time employee of the Joffrey, so you will remain eligible for any financial assistance thereafter."

The sound of my pulse, pounding a staccato rhythm in my ears, had returned. This time, it was a frenzy of emotion as what I was being offered sank in to my brain.

"Bella, would you like some time to think about this? We understand that you may not be ready to make such a decision right away."

"No!" I quickly shouted. "I mean, yes! Yes! I'll do it!"

"Wonderful," Esme said from across the table. "We'll have Gianna take care of all the paperwork. Where should we have her mail everything?"

Plummenting from cloud nine to the earth had never happened so quickly for me as when Esme asked for my address. Obviously it wasn't the same one as her son and daughter's anymore.

"Jacob Black. His address, please," I responded, my voice dropping lower.

"Well, then," Esme continued, not missing a beat. "Thank you, Bella, for your time. I'm glad that we were able to come to a mutually beneficial solution. We'll be in touch very soon. Until then, why don't you go home and get some rest? It's been quite a week for you, has it not?"

"Yes, thank you so much for the opportunity," I said with tear-glazed eyes.

She walked toward me and enveloped me in her arms, whispering into my ear as she did so.

"We'll talk more later. For now, get some rest."

Back at Jake's I shrugged out of my coat and flopped onto the worn out sofa, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Esme Cullen had just offered me a job. Not just any job, but an assistant teaching job at one of the most prestigious dance institutions in the country. My head was having a difficult time wrapping around that.

The apartment door flew open and Jake clamored in, followed closely by Sam, who was lugging three large grocery bags.

"Hey sweetie, how'd it go?" he asked.

"You won't believe me if I tell you," I replied.

"Try me," he replied as he sat down beside me.

Sam busied himself in the small kitchen, putting the food away as I began giving Jake the Cliff Notes of what had just occurred.

"So let me get this straight," he said. "You're going to be teaching eight and nine year olds technique for the entire winter? Bella, that's awesome!"

"I suppose," was my only thought.

"Suppose? They're not kicking you out! Do you have any idea how unbelievably good this is going to look on a resume'?

"I guess, but I just don't see how it's real, Jake. How can they even get away with this? Won't the parent's be upset once they find out that I've never even danced with the company?"

"I don't see how they would," Jake answered. "Bella, Esme Cullen runs the damn place. She can do whatever she wants."

He was right. By all accounts, she had every right to send me packing back to Washington, but she hadn't. Instead, she'd given me a way to save not only my dancing career, but my pride.

"So what are you going to do about Edward?" Sam asked from behind the pantry door.

I looked over at Jacob, his face alight with curiosity.

I winced a little at the mention of his name, but knew that I would have to have a plan in mind to win back his trust.

"I'm not sure yet," I responded. "I was hoping that maybe you guys could help me out with that."

"Well if you ask me," Sam said, making his way to the recliner in the living room, "you need to let him come to you. Men love the chase. We're hunters by nature, you know."

"Sam, don't throw your 'Men are from Mars' shit on her right now," Jake chided.

"No, wait," I cut in, "he might be right. I mean, remember what I told you about, well…that first time we met? Maybe he does like thinking that he's the one in control of the situation. Why not just let him, you know, seek me out?"

"Then you might be waiting a really long time, sister," Jake said.

"I don't know, Jake. I think maybe if I just wait…I mean, I don't want to look desperate."

"Exactly," Sam agreed.

"Bella, there's a fine line between those two vibes. You might think you're not acting desperate by playing hard to get, and he might think you've lost all interest. You're not dealing with the average dude here. From what you've told me, Eddie boy has baggage."

"That may be true," Same interjected, "but Bella needs to let Edward do the seeking out. That doesn't mean that she needs to hide from him, though."

"I'm sorry, I don't get what you're saying," I admitted.

Sam and Jake shared a knowing glance at one another. I looked between their faces, trying to decipher what sort of unspoken exchange had just occurred.

"Bella baby, just let ol' Jakey take care of you, okay?"

I nodded, feeling in the pit of my stomach that this wasn't going to be comfortable.

Sam went back to the kitchen, silently putting away the rest of the groceries while Jake began scheming.

"You've already sent him a text letting him know that you're back in town," he stated.

"Two texts, Jake – you sent him one too, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that. No big deal, though. I think I might need to do a little research for a musical piece that I've been thinking about performing to tomorrow. Maybe I'll head down to DePaul in the morning."

"Jake, what are you thinking? You're not going to run into him accidentally on purpose and drop a bug in his ear for me, are you? I can't think of anything lamer than that."

"No, Bells. I mean, I might mention that you're staying at my place and that you've just been offered an awesome position with the Academy, but I won't say anything about your relationship. I'm not an idiot."

"Can't we at least wait to see if he texts me back? I mean, after all, it's only been a few hours."

"I suppose, we'll come up with something, though, if he doesn't get back in touch with you. Tell you what – let's relax tonight and we'll think about it. We won't decide anything tonight, okay?"

"Sounds good, Jake. Now what's for dinner? I'm starving."

Jake, Sam, and I kept the conversation light as I cooked a few chicken breasts on the electric grill for our dinner. Sam made a salad and Jake even pitched in by slicing up some fruit for dessert. By the time the sun set over the city, we were all full and exhausted.

We'd just sat down in the living room to unwind in front of the television when the bell rang from downstairs. Jake walked to the door and answered it.

"Yeah?" he asked into the speaker.

"Delivery for Miss Swan," a deep voice said from the other side.

I looked at Jake quizzically, wondering what on earth could possibly be delivered at this time of the evening.

Sam buzzed the courier through and we waited to see what on earth was coming up the stairs.

Although it was expected, the knock at the door startled me, and I turned on the couch to see two large men, each carrying large brown boxes, come through the door.

"Where d'ya want 'em?" the first one through the door asked.

"Right over there," Jake answered, pointing toward the far wall of the room.

After the boxes were stacked neatly in the corner, the men turned back toward the door.

"Hope you don't mind," Mr. Sweaty Delivery-guy said, "we propped the door open downstairs. There's about six more of these."

Jake's brow crinkled in confusion as he nodded an affirmative answer toward them.

The men disappeared and I walked hesitantly toward the wall, curious to see what was inside the corrugated brown packages.

I opened the flap on one of the boxes to see my books stacked neatly in a pile.

"It's my stuff," I said, my eyes suddenly welling with tears.

It made sense, really, to have all of my things delivered here to Jake's. I suppose I hadn't imagined that Esme would have it done quite so soon.

"Don't be upset, Bells," Jake said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his side. "The probably started packing it up when you left for Washington. No one knew if you were coming back or not. It's not like you gave anyone any idea of your intentions."

"I know," I shuddered. "I just…it just all seems so final."

I stood there for a minute, silently weeping into Jake's arms as I heard the delivery men coming back up the stairs.

"Why don't you go hang out in the bedroom, babe?" Jake asked. "We'll handle this."

I willingly obliged, stalking off to the bedroom in hopes that I wouldn't make a fool of myself in front of perfect strangers.

I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my legs up to my chest. Rocking steadily back and forth seemed to soothe me somehow, so I focused on the movement of my body rather than all of the thoughts that were running through my brain.

Soon enough, I heard the couriers bringing up the fourth load of boxes. This would be the last of my things from the Cullen's apartment. I wiped my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror, willing myself to put on a brave face and go out into the living area. I heard the men request a signature, and then the door clicked behind them as the exited the apartment.

Dragging in a deep breath, I let myself out of my self-imposed prison and walked somberly into the next room. Jake was immediately at my side, rubbing small circles on my back and offering me something to drink.

Sam just looked up from over the kitchen counter, measuring his words before he spoke.

"So, Bella, do you want to pick out a movie or something?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied, shrugging off Jake's soothing touch as I headed toward the entertainment center.

As I knelt down to read the titles that were lined up along the bottom row of the shelf, another knock sounded at the door.

"What the hell?" Sam asked to no one in particular as he crossed the short space to answer the door.

The locks disengaged and the hinges creaked as Sam pulled the door toward him to open it. I focused on the sideways letters in front of me, determined not to look up at what I was sure would be more of my earthly possessions being hauled into the apartment.

_The Crow. Friday. Rush Hour._

"What are you…?"

_Saving Private Ryan._

"Yeah, she's right…"

_When Harry Met Sally. _Really? _When Harry Met Sally?_

"Bella?"

"What?" I snapped, refusing to look toward Sam.

"Someone's here for you," he said, his voice quiet and concerned.

My head jerked up toward him, and my eyes widened as I saw who was standing in the doorway.

"Bella," he said, his voice washing over me and soothing and infuriating every raw nerve in my body and psyche.

Our eyes met, and in that moment forgiveness and repentance were the only two desires my brain could process.

His face was drawn and his eyes were rimmed with dark circles. His hair, always disheveled perfection, was standing up straight from constant pulling. With his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, his shoulders hunched forward in a posture that was so different from any I'd ever seen him take. He looked broken – just like me – but he was _here._

I opened my mouth to tell him to leave, that tonight was not the night for this. My lips parted and my heart took over, the only thing I could whisper was the only word in the world that mattered in that moment.

"Edward."

* * *

So this is where I tell you to give to The Fandom Gives Back because it's the right thing to do and if you don't you are a heartless person. OK, maybe not heartless - I mean, I know some of you are like, "But I don't have any money!" So to you I say: Are you crafty? Do you write? Do you podcast? Do you make banners? Do you cook? Do you drink? If you fit into ANY of those categories, there is a way to give. Try it...you'll like it.

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	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Um...hi? Is anyone there? If you are, thanks for sticking with me. More at the end...**

* * *

"Hey Ed, my man, what's up?" Jake said, breaking the awkward silence in the room.

Edward nodded tersely in Jacob's direction, his eyes never straying from my own. I was holding my breath, waiting for him to make a move toward me. He never did. Slowly I stood from my crouched position on the floor beside the entertainment center. With my hands twitching nervously at my sides, I kept perfectly still - afraid to exhale, afraid to blink, afraid to feel.

"Bella," Edward spoke softly, his honey-coated voice seeping through my pores and filling every space inside me that I didn't even know was empty.

"Hi," I responded in the lamest way possible.

We stood there, staring at each other, and for once my mind wasn't racing – it was totally blank. I didn't know what to say. Where should I begin? Should I apologize?

"Bella, I…" Edward started, his voice trailing off into silence again.

Somewhere off to the side of the room, Jake began to whistle. I glanced to toward the kitchen and saw him, his hands shoved into his pockets. He was actually pacing and whistling, and I suddenly felt as if I was caught in some awful 1940's B-movie.

Sam cleared his throat and leaned into Jake, whispering something in his ear. Throwing his arm around Jake's shoulder, he nodded in my direction as the two of them headed toward the bedroom, granting Edward and I the privacy we needed.

We stood there for a moment, staring at each other and nothing at the same time. I wasn't sure who was going to start this uncomfortable conversation, but I was hoping that it wouldn't hurt too much. I was sure that whatever he'd come here to say wasn't the same as what I wanted to hear. I decided to just get it over with – to rip the Band-aid off, so to speak.

"Um, do you want to sit down?" I asked sheepishly.

The side of his mouth lifted ever so slightly, and he nodded in response, moving his lithe body toward the couch in what seemed to be one graceful movement. His hands were still in his pockets as he sat down on the couch, tucking his chin to his chest and breathing out a long sigh.

I sat on the ottoman, far enough away from him that touching would take effort, but still close enough to feel the slight tingle of nervousness that shot through my body anytime he was near.

Our eyes met and he quickly looked behind me at the boxes that held all my earthly possessions stacked against the wall.

"Hardest thing I've ever had to do," he muttered.

"What?"

"It was hard, watching Alice and Mom pack up all of your things. Alice cried the whole time, you know. Mom thought it was best, though. She's always been able to look at things objectively. I couldn't…they asked me to help, but…"

His voice trailed off just before he heaved another sigh. I opened my mouth to speak, but he started again.

"I just wanted you to know – we didn't do this because we don't want you with us. We just thought that you might be staying in Washington, or that you wouldn't want to come back, so it was better to have everything ready so that you wouldn't have to take the time to pack everything yourself. We – I mean, I – understand that you probably don't want to talk to me, and I'm really sorry for barging in on you like this. I just felt like you needed to know that this was done out of…Mom did this because she cares about you. She just wanted you to be comfortable. And I…" he huffed, taking in a shaky breath and swallowing thickly, "I just want you to be happy. I wanted you to know that as well."

My chest constricted as I looked at him – so different from the stoic face that had said goodbye to me in Washington. I didn't know what to say to him, but I had a thousand questions.

He looked up at me from beneath his lashes and gave a slight crook of his lips in what I assumed was a half-hearted, sheepish, please-say-something smile. Taking in a deep breath, I began to speak.

"Thank you for telling me. I wasn't sure what the motive was behind all this. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful to have all of my things here, I just expected to be able to come get them myself. When Esme said today that they would provide me with room and board, I guess I just assumed that my things would be sent to the new apartment, or where ever they're going to put me."

"Well, that's part of the reason that she decided to send them here first. She wasn't sure if you would want to stay at the loft that the Academy is willing to supply for you. She thought you might want to stay here with Jacob, since you two have such a history."

"Why wouldn't I want to stay in the loft that Joffery provides? Is it a shared loft?" I was confused by this point, because I assumed that I wouldn't be given much of a choice. Then again, I'd also hoped beyond hope that I would be welcomed back to the Cullen's apartment, but that certainly wasn't the case.

"It was a shared apartment, but you'll be staying there alone until a new roommate can be found."

"Was a shared apartment?" I repeated, trying to drag the information out of him.

"Yes. It's actually the apartment that you shared with Victoria. Miss Marks, however, is no longer a student of the Academy, so you would be living there by yourself."

"What…what do you mean that she is no longer with the Academy?" I was even more confused, but now I was rejoicing as well.

"That's Esme's story to tell. Suffice to say that the Board had enough of her and she was sent home while you were gone."

"If she's gone, I really don't mind staying there. Are you sure she's not coming back?"

"She is most certainly not coming back, Bella," he replied. My body involuntarily shuddered when he spoke my name.

As I looked into his face, I willed the thoughts and emotions that were coursing through my body to enter his head via osmosis. That would be so much easier than trying to verbalize what I was feeling at that moment. I knew that wouldn't happen, though, so I continued to speak.

"So, Alice is pretty mad at me?" I asked.

"I wouldn't say that she's mad so much as hurt. She really thought of you as her closest friend, and she felt betrayed that you would leave without talking to her."

"I know, it was an awful thing to do, I know that now. I just – there was so much that I didn't know when I boarded that plane. I realize now how much I let my insecurities get the best of me, and I hope that there is some way I can make it up to her."

"I'm sure Alice will find it in her heart to forgive you; if you can find it in yours to forgive her."

"Forgive her? Forgive her for what? She never did anything wrong!"

"Well, she doesn't see it that way, I'm sure. She wasn't there to listen to your fears, she was so caught up in making the performance night a success that she didn't stop to think that maybe it wouldn't be what you wanted. She should have made more time to talk to you rather than taking for granted that you would always be there. She probably shouldn't have put you in situations where you had to…shop…if that's not what you really wanted to do. I'm sure that she feels horrible for that, because she feels as if perhaps you…shopped only because you thought that was what she wanted."

I struggled to process what Edward had just told me. Alice was sorry for making me shop?

_Oh….he's not talking about Alice._

I briefly considered calling him out on his lame attempt at an apology, but then decided against it. Edward had shut himself off to me before when I'd attempted to make him express himself in a different way than he was comfortable with, and closed-off Edward was not what I wanted right now. In fact, I'd take 'talking-in-another-person' Edward over no Edward any day of the week.

"So," I started, "what can I do to show her that this isn't her fault, Edward?"

"Isn't it?" he asked, his eyes cautiously seeking me out.

"No," I answered. "It was never her fault. It was mine. I was the one who ran in the first place. I was the one who believed that stupid roommate of mine. I was the one who thought that things would be easier if it was as if I never existed."

"Bella, can I be honest with you? Brutally honest?"

I nodded my reply, hoping that this wasn't the part of the conversation where he told me that I was right about all of that. What else could I expect?

"I don't care what caused it, Bella. I don't care how we got here, or who or what is at the root of all of this. I only care about you – and how much I want you. I want to start over, Bella, not go back. I've had a great deal of time to think since I returned home, and I realize that we started this without giving ourselves much of a chance to succeed. I went about things in an entirely abrupt and ungentlemanly manner, and you deserved so much better than that. I don't want to fix it, Bella. I want to erase it and replace all of those awful things that I did, and assumed, and said with new, wonderful memories. I want to give you everything you want and more – and try not to let my selfish ego get in the way.

"The things that we never cherished are the things that I crave, Bella. I want to hold your hand. I want to play music for you and have you listen and enjoy it without the burden of trying to decipher the meaning behind each note; because you'll already know how I feel. I want to send you flowers, not because I'm sorry for something, but because I know they'll make you smile. I want to see you dance, Bella. I want to see you joyful and free, and I want to be able to think that, maybe, I had something to do with that."

I was at a loss for words. Who was this man, sitting in front of me, communicating so clearly? Surely this was not the same Edward that I'd met months ago who hid himself behind an ivory keyboard or pen and paper. Here he was, across from me, the words that I thought only the Edward of my dreams was capable of saying pouring out of his mouth. Could this be real? Surely I didn't deserve this – there had to be a catch. Could this perfectly imperfect man really want to try to have a relationship with mousy little me?

"Stop that," he whispered. "Stop second-guessing everything I say. Stop putting a self-deprecating spin on every compliment that someone gives you. I know that's what you're doing. Your perspective is skewed, Bella. If this," he said, motioning to the space between our bodies with his hands, "is going to work, you have to believe that you're worth it, too."

My shoulders hunched at the weight of his words. He was right, after all. It had been my insecurities that had caused this entire mess in the first place, and I was the only one who could mend my broken way of thinking. I shrugged, trying to displace the weight that had seemed to creep over my body at the thought of being worth something to someone, and Edward began to speak again.

"You are everything I want, you know. Somehow, in the span of only a few months, you managed to open a door into my mind – my soul, even – that my family couldn't even scratch the surface of for years. I can't let you just cast aside the fact that you have shown me that I am capable of loving – and possibly even worthy of being loved. You have given me purpose where there was once only anger."

"I didn't do that, Edward. You found that inside yourself. I just happened to be around when you finally did. Please, don't make this about me."

"But it IS about you, Bella! My God, why can't you see? I understand that you have no reason to trust me, but please, just believe this one thing! You are a beautiful, compassionate, intelligent woman. You deserve everything good that the world has to offer.

"Do you deserve me in all my dysfunctional glory? No, you deserve better than me, Bella. I know this, though – if I can do something, anything, to make you happy then you do deserve that. I only hope that I can do it often enough to deserve you one day."

For once in my life, I was speechless. Moving of its own volition, my body closed the gap between us and my head pressed into the space between his chin and chest. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping that I could somehow freeze this moment in time. His arms snaked around me to the back of my shoulders, pulling me in closer and causing our chests to lean into each other. I could feel our heartbeats in that moment, both nervously crashing against our ribs, afraid to let go but wanting to pull away at the prospect of more.

He looked down at me and I was lost in an emerald whirlwind, so much hope and wonder alight in his eyes. It was as if I'd never truly seen him before this moment. A smile crept over his lips, one side just slightly higher than the other, but both eyes touched by it and I couldn't help but smile back. I sighed as I lay my head back on his chest. For the first time since I was a small child, I felt like I was home.

"Bella?" he asked, his breath warm and soft against my hair.

"Yes?" I questioned back, hoping he wasn't uncomfortable because I certainly didn't want to move.

"Will you allow me to take you to dinner this week?"

I smiled. He was so cute, asking if he could take me out for dinner. He could've asked me in that moment to move to Romania, or cut off all my hair, or have his seventeen children, and I would have said yes. Yet, he hadn't asked for any of those things; he had asked me out on a date.

"You may," I replied. "We've gone out to dinner before, though."

"I know, but I'd like it if this could be our new first date, if that's alright with you."

"It's more than alright," I said, smiling shyly at him and leaning back onto the couch. "So, when do you want us to have this first date?"

"How about Sunday? My parents host a Halloween party every year and my attendance is mandatory. I would say that you should come, but I wouldn't want you to feel awkward around them, since…well, I'm sure I don't need to explain any further."

"No, you don't," I answered. "Besides, I don't have a costume, and I have a feeling going as a ballerina wouldn't be original enough for Alice. Do we have to wait for Sunday? That's three days away!"

"Well, we could try for Friday, but I have a tutoring session at the school that will last until almost nine o'clock that night. I would like our first date to be an entire evening, not just a thrown-together outing for the sake of saying we did something."

The thought of an entire evening with Edward sounded marvelous, and I knew that he would make it worth my wait. I agreed, but under one condition.

"You have to pick me up from my new apartment," I said.

"Of course I'll pick you up," he said. "Will Jake be at the door waiting for me?"

"No, not here Edward; my new old apartment," I grinned, proud of myself for sliding in the acceptance of Esme's offer with the acceptance of his invitation. He smiled at me again, then softly ran one hand down the back of my head and neck, stopping when he reached my arm. I was pretty sure that I heard the muffled sound of a "Whoop!" coming from behind the bedroom door, and I made a mental note to pummel Jake for eavesdropping. Then I made a second mental note to not punch him too hard, because I needed him to help me move all of those boxes.

"My mother will be so happy to hear that, Bella. She cares for you very much, you know."

"I'm trying to understand why, but yes, I do believe you," I answered, trying out this new, positive approach to Edward and life in general.

"Wonderful," he said, pulling away from me and standing up from the couch.

I grimaced at his absence, and he smiled down at me.

"Now Bella," he said, "I told you we were going to do this the right way, and I meant that. I'm going home now, but I'll be in touch with you throughout the week. Would you like to choose where we have dinner, or would you like it to be a surprise?"

"Surprise me," I said. I knew that anything Edward planned would be worlds away from even the best idea I could come up with.

Leaning down toward me, Edward pressed his lips to the top of my head. Both of us inhaled deeply, as if trying to remember the scent of each other to get us through the next few days. He pulled away and began walking toward the door.

"Goodnight, sweet girl," he said, turning back to glance at me over his shoulder.

"'Night," I responded. "Be safe."

The door clicked shut and I spun around in the living room, grinning like a fool. I sat down and sighed contently; happy that our conversation had gone better than I had ever imagined. I was home – I knew that now. All that was left was to move into my new apartment and begin my new job at the academy.

"Jake!" I yelled out suddenly, "get your eavesdropping ass in here right now!"

* * *

**AN: Thanks to all of you who have stuck around through my horrible update fails. I promise that I will be better this time, as RL has slowed down enough for me to focus more on the things I enjoy doing.**

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**Much love and thanks to the ones who inspire and make me feel oh-so-speshul. Love you, h00rs.  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**Welcome back, lovahs!**

**Thanks to all of you who have been so wonderful in adding me a favorite author or this story as one of your favorites. It means the world to me.**

**I really, really, really hope you like this chapter enough to tell me what you think...**

* * *

Sam stopped me from junk-punching Jacob.

It wasn't like I was going to hurt him or anything, but in the end, I agreed that his eavesdropping didn't warrant a fist to the crotch. Besides, I needed his help and there was no way he'd agree to lug boxes down all the stairs in his apartment building with an injured groin.

After I relayed the pieces of the conversation that Jake hadn't overheard, both Jake and Sam hugged me and agreed that they would assist me in moving back into my old apartment. The mood in the apartment had gone from grim to peaceful in such a short time that I was left feeling slightly lightheaded. The three of us settled into the couch to watch a movie and relax; and I relished in the fact that tomorrow wouldn't be so hard to face. Of course, Jake had to ruin my moment by reminding me that I would have to call Esme in the morning to officially accept the position with the Academy.

My stomach roped itself back into a large knot just thinking about it. The few minutes of respite that my mind had gained after Edward's visit had passed; when the movie was over I tossed and turned on the couch, slipping in and out of sleep as the next day approached.

"Esme Cullen," her cool professional voice answered.

"Go ahead," Jake urged in a whisper, "it's not like she's going to bite you through the phone."

"Esme, this is Bella Swan," I blurted.

"Bella, dear! So wonderful to hear from you! Are you feeling better? Did you receive your things last night? You weren't upset, were you? I thought you may need a few of your personal effects."

"Yes, and thank you. I do feel better and the movers brought my things over yesterday evening. Thank you, Esme."

"You're quite welcome, Bella. Now, have you made a decision? I don't mean to rush you, but I would really like to have all of this worked out before the start of next week. The board would like you to begin as soon as possible."

"Really? I mean, yes. Yes, I would like to accept the Board's offer. I'm also interested in the housing that you spoke of last night? It's not that I couldn't stay here, but Jake…"

"Of course!" Esme interjected. "How wonderful; I was hoping that loft wouldn't go to waste until the Spring term. Are you opposed to living alone, Bella? If you are, we may have to wait until an appropriate roommate could be found, but otherwise you could move in straight away. I could even have the movers come back over and take your things there if you'd like."

"That won't be necessary," I said, turning to poke Jake in the ribs. I smiled at him as I continued, "Jacob and his friend Sam have already volunteered to help me. I don't want to be a bother."

"How lovely, dear. Now, you don't have any problem with moving back into your old loft. It is currently unoccupied, seeing as how the Academy is finally rid of that horrid Marks girl."

My eyebrows shot up as I quickly debated asking Esme why Victoria was gone. I decided to play dumb, not knowing if she would appreciate being questioned about such a thing.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. The academy has no place for those like Miss Marks, and her leaving was long overdue. After all, her sloppy footwork was the least of her problems, considering her foul and sassy mouth. But that's really beside the point, isn't it? The important thing is that you are going to be joining our team and moving on with your career. I'm very pleased with your decision, Bella."

"Thank you," I replied, embarrassed by her obvious faith in me, and a little disappointed that she didn't want to elaborate on why Victoria had been kicked out.

"Now, when would you like to move in dear? The family is hosting a party this weekend, and afterward Carlisle and I are going away for a week for one of his medical conferences. I could leave the keys with my assistant if you would like to pick them up this evening. She is usually in the building until four or so. Otherwise, you would have to wait until next week, which would put you a week behind in starting your new schedule."

"I can pick them up today," I told her, eager to begin moving. I knew that the process would keep me busy enough to not pine over Edward every waking moment.

"Wonderful. I will leave the keys with Heidi and you can pick them up any time today before four. If you don't mind, I'll also take the liberty of having her draft a formal acceptance letter for you to sign while you're there. I'm sure you'll be too busy with all of your other responsibilities, and the Board expects the decorum, regardless of how outdated it may seem. Because you'll be moving over the weekend, you will be expected to begin on Monday. That won't be a problem, will it?"

I took in a breath to answer, but she gave me no time to do so.

"Now – while you're there, make sure that Heidi gives you a copy of your schedule for the remainder of the term. I'll also have her cut a check for uniform allowance. There's no strict uniform policy, but we do ask that you look professional at all times since you will be representing the Academy. You can also use the money for any moving supplies that you may need. Let's see, is there anything else?" she asked herself.

When Esme was satisfied that she had relayed enough information to me, she paused to ask if I had any other concerns.

"No, Esme, thank you again, so much," I said. "I really don't have the words…"

"Of course you do, Bella," she interrupted. "You just have to find them. Make sure that you clear an afternoon for us to have lunch when I return. Heidi will set up the appointment for you. Good luck with the move, dear. Send my regards to Jacob. I'll be in touch." And with that, the line popped, and she was gone.

Sunday came faster than I thought possible. Halloween in Chicago had proven to be not as exciting as I'd hoped it would be, but that was due to the fact that I'd spent the entire day and night unpacking my things and arranging my new old apartment. The main reason that the past three days had gone by so quickly was because of Edward's phone calls.

True to his word, he called every day, but only once, later in the evenings. He explained that he was extremely busy at school – he had entered into the last phase of his program and was beginning to mentor younger composers as part of his coursework. We talked about the banal things mostly – our favorite movies, ice cream flavors, colors, and weather. It was odd, talking about trivial things with someone that I'd professed myself to no so long ago; but it was also very nice.

Edward had been right about starting over and doing things the proper way. It was nice to finally get to know the man that I had handed my heart to months ago. With his newfound confidence, he was so easy to talk to, and I never felt as if I had to struggle to get him to talk to me. In fact, the only unnerving part of our conversations was Edward's reluctance to tell me where we were going on our date.

Sunday found me flittering around my apartment, trying to make sure everything looked just right for Edward's appearance. He'd said that he would pick me up at three, and that I should dress comfortably. I wasn't sure what sort of comfortable he meant, since he'd given me no clue as to what the day held for me. I knew that his taste was a bit more upscale than what I was used to, but I couldn't see wearing him wearing black tie at three in the afternoon.

It was then that I wished that I had made amends with Alice. Her insight would be invaluable right now, but I still hadn't spoken to her since I'd arrived in Chicago. I settled on a pair of black leggings and boots, and paired them with a soft charcoal striped sweater. The neckline seemed odd - it was very wide and had a huge fold-down part that confused me. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to fold it all the way down so that it draped off my shoulders or if I was supposed to let it hang down the center of my chest. Again, I longed for Alice, but my fussing over the fabric was cut short by the light tapping at my door.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to find Edward standing there, in all his supermodel glory. I was instantly relieved to see that he was wearing dark jeans and a tee with a grey military looking jacket, because that meant that I wasn't underdressed. I smiled at him silently as I opened the door wider, motioning for him to come in.

"Hi," I said softly, trying not to blush.

"Hi," he replied, his hand coming from behind his back to hand me a single pink rose, surrounded by prickly greenery and tissue paper.

I took the flower from him, bringing it to my nose and inhaling, and laughed when the greens pricked at the skin of my nose.

"Sorry," he said, reaching out take the bud from me and place it on the counter. "Um, Rosalie said that pink roses mean "please believe me" and that cedar greens mean "I live for you." So I guess you can gather what I was trying to say with that."

"It's beautiful, Edward. No one has ever put that much thought into buying me flowers before. Of course, the only time I've ever received flowers has been after a performance. I'm pretty sure Charlie just picked up whatever was at the end of the check-out line at SafeWay."

"You look…nice," he said, his cheeks turning just the slightest pink as he looked me over.

"Thank you. I wasn't sure what we were doing, but since you're not dressed up, I guess this is fine. Should we go?"

"After you, Miss Swan," he responded as he placed his hand on the small of my back and steered my back toward the door. "Don't forget your coat."

I leaned over to the coat rack and lifted my pea coat from the hook, not wanting to break the contact with him. Throwing it and my purse on my arm, I led the way as we walked out into the hallway.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, looking up at him as we walked toward the stairwell.

"You'll see," he smiled down at me, his impish grin causing my insides to swirl around.

Edward double parked just outside the front door of the building, and he hurried to open my door for me before sliding into his seat. The car was warm, and I inhaled deeply, trying to play it off like a sigh of contentment when I was really just basking in the scent of leather and caramel and boy that was Edward. He clicked his seatbelt in place and I watched as his nimble fingers began fiddling with the dials on the radio and thermostat.

We pulled out into traffic as the strains of piano began to filter through the speakers. I listened closely, the melody seemed familiar but I couldn't place it. Looking over at Edward, my lips had just parted when he answered my unspoken question.

"It's what I wrote for you. Jesus, I probably seem like the most conceited prick on the planet right now, huh?"

Nothing could be further from the truth. Not five minutes into the date and Edward had already astounded me with his thoughtfulness.

Edward, two; Bella – zero.

"Not at all," I said, my cheeks flushing again. "Now, shh!" I smiled as I settled in for out drive, closing my eyes to listen closely to the music.

Every note was perfect. Each chord struck with impeccable timing. My body swayed of its own volition. My toes pointed and flexed, and in my mind, I began to see myself, moving across a stage in time to the harmonies. When the song finally came to a close, the notes high pitched and almost ethereal, I opened my eyes. Stealing a glance at Edward, his mouth was drawn into a tight line.

"That was…breathtaking," I said, my voice almost raspy with emotion.

"I'm sorry," he started, but I didn't let him finish. I reached over the gear shift and placed my hand on top of his.

"No apologies. That certainly tops the flowers as far as thoughtfulness goes; and as for your being conceited, well, forget that. You're talented and you have every right to be proud of that."

His shoulders relaxed and he wrapped his thumb up around my hand, stroking my pinkie mindlessly. I felt the swirl in my belly once more, and felt like a high school freshman, out on her first date. The music continued to pour out of the speakers, apparently Edward had compiled some kind of mix CD or something, and we rode toward our mystery destination in comfortable silence – neither of us quite sure what the right words were to express ourselves in that moment.

"You're kidding, right?" I said as Edward leaned out of the window to pay the parking attendant.

"I don't kid, Bella," he smirked. "Unless you have a fear of these sorts of things, in which case I'm sure I could find something else to do."

"I don't have a fear, per se, it's just…"

"Not what you expected?" he asked, finishing my sentence.

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's go," he said as he stepped out of the car and rushed around to the passenger side to open the door for me. Reaching out his hand, he helped me out of my seat and into my coat.

"Will I get a prize?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"If you're a good girl," he grinned. Linking his hand with mine, he pulled us closer together as we headed toward the entrance.

The smell of hay and grease and popcorn assaulted my nose as Edward paid the very hirsute ticket-booth woman for our entry to the Harvest Festival Carnival. It was a small fair, there were only a handful of rides and no roller coasters, but there were plenty of agricultural exhibits and carnival games to keep us busy.

The night air was crisp, and Edward told me that it was unseasonably warm for the first of November in Illinois. We walked, hand in hand, through the cool barn that had been corralled off into sections for the horses, cows, and alpacas. I watched Edwards face light up with childlike joy as we stopped to view a team of baby ducks waddle up a ramp and race down a little waterslide into the tiny pool below. We chatted about what we'd once dreamed of being as we huddled next to the generator of the cotton candy stand, stuffing our faces with the feathery strands of sweetness. He laughed when I told him I wanted to be a police chief, just like my father. I giggled when he told me that he had once dreamed of becoming a window-washer, because he wouldn't have to talk to anyone.

As the sun set, we rode the Farris wheel, Edward pulling me closer as the wind ripped through my hair when we got to the top. I snuggled into the crook of his arm and was quite comfortable until I felt his cool fingers under my chin. He tipped my face up toward his and our eyes locked as we both took in a breath. Slowly, he lowered his lips to mine, brushing them softly against me. He repeated the motion as his arm pulled me closer to him, the tub that we were riding in rocking slightly with the movement. My lips parted, and there was an exchange of breath, but no more. Sweet and brief, his kiss left me in a quiet haze, wanting more.

The night was winding down as we ambled through the main walkway of the fair, and a heckling carnie worker began yelling his annoying spiel at us.

"Come on there, folks! Toss a Frisbee into the slot and win a big prize for the little lady! You know you want to show her you've got skills! What do you have to lose? Only one dollar! One dollar there, sir! Do you have what it takes?"

I looked up at Edward, smiling coyly. "I have been a good girl tonight, haven't I?"

He grinned down at me and shook his head, "I suppose."

We paused to look at the game, which seemed simple enough in theory. Throw a Frisbee into a slot in the wall, win an enormous yellow banana. Seemed easy enough.

"Come on," I said, tugging at his arm. "I've got five bucks that says I'll beat you."

"You're on, Swan," he said smugly as we ponied up to the booth and paid our dollars to the attendant.

My first throw was close, but the plastic disk bounced right off the corner of the hole, landing with a thump on the straw below. Edward glanced at me then threw his toy, not even coming close. We went, back and forth like this for another ten dollars until, finally, my orange saucer slid neatly into the black rectangle and a buzzer sounded above my head.

"We have a winner, folks! Give it up for the girl in black!"

I smiled and blushed as the tattooed barker reached above his head to unhook one of the giant fruit and hand it to me. I hugged it and squealed, then handed it to Edward.

"Here you go, big boy, you've been good," I winked.

"Nice," he replied, tucking the enormous plush under his arm.

We made our way to Edward's car, our noses red and cheeks aching from laughter. He placed the stuffed banana in the backseat and turned the heat on full blast, heading back toward the city.

"Where do you want to go now?" he asked, looking at the clock. Was it already eight o'clock? How did the day go by so fast?

"Um, did you have something in mind?" I asked, not sure if he was hinging plans on my response.

"Not particularly," he answered. "My guess is that you aren't at all hungry, and I don't think either of us has the energy to go to club."

"Well, you're right about the club part, and no, I'm not at all hungry. Amazing how a corn dog, cotton candy, and a caramel apple will fill you up. But, I don't know, I mean, I'm not really ready to go home yet, either."

"I'd say that you could come over to my place, but Alice is there and I know you haven't talked to her yet. I'm being selfish – I just want you all to myself."

"Well, we could go to my place," I offered, not wanted to seem too eager to get him alone. "I mean, if you want, and watch a movie or something."

"I'd hate to impose…but if you really want…"

"I wouldn't have invited you if I didn't," I finished.

"Then it's settled, we'll go to your place for a movie."

We talked the rest of the trip, mostly laughing and sharing childhood stories. Unfortunately most of the laughing was done by Edward at me, since his childhood didn't have very many zany anecdotes. By the time we reached my apartment, he was doubled over in laughter over my mother's love affair with interpretive dance when I was eleven.

"So she made you…" he gasped for air… "dance to Puff the Magic Dragon –" he gasped again, "at your family reunion? While she accompanied you with a bongo drum and sang?"

"I really didn't think it was that funny," I muttered.

"Oh, beautiful Bella, you are amazing," he said, straightening himself up and cupping my face in his hands. Once again, he leaned into me and our lips met with the same zip of electricity that I'd felt earlier at the fair.

Perhaps it was the fact that we were both warm now, or that we were now safe within the walls of my new home that neither of us pulled back this time. I shrugged out of my jacket and put my hands atop his, pulling him with me toward the sofa, not willing to break contact with him at any point. My insides were on fire, my heart was racing, and I was pretty sure that if we didn't put on a movie in the next thirty seconds, someone was going to be shirtless.

"So what do you want to watch?" I asked, straightening up somewhat and looking over toward the small collection of movies on the television console.  
"Anything will be fine," he answered. "I like to think that I have very eclectic taste in films."  
We bantered back and forth for a few minutes about our favorite lines from movies. I decided it must be something in the male genetic makeup to be able to recite, on command, dialogue from any given film. Finally, we decided on a romantic comedy where the poor unpopular girl suddenly gets pretty by taking her glasses off and pulling her hair down.  
I sat on one end of the sofa and watched as Edward leaned himself toward the other side, slanting himself in the most awkward of ways.  
"You can lie down, if you want," I assured him.

He kicked off his shoes and stretched his long legs out toward me, looking perfectly content as his head made contact with the throw pillow. I stretched out beside him, positioning myself between his lean body and the back of the sofa. I wiggled to get into a comfortable position and one of my legs found itself wrapped around his thigh.

We stayed that way until the jocks began making bets with the quarterback that he wouldn't take the homely artsy girl to the prom. Edward's long fingers stroked my hair, and I tilted my face up to gaze at him. He looked down at me and I drank in the sight of him. So many of my previous worries seemed to dissolve as he leaned toward me and I slid myself up his body swiftly to meet his waiting lips.

The kiss started out slowly and innocently, our hands never moving, our breaths keeping perfect time with one another. As we continued, my body began to slither around his until my weight rested fully upon his chest and thighs, and a small moan escaped him when my hip brushed the fly of his jeans. Our mouths parted wider as we continued to deepen our kiss, his fingers now running freely up my back and through my hair, repeating the circuit several times before knotting themselves at the base of my neck. Fleetingly, I remembered what Edward had said to me that night at Jacob's about taking things slowly and doing them "the right way" this time. I said a quick prayer that he would forget – this moment felt too right to stop.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, Edward pulled his head back, sucking lightly at my top lip before he released it. I whimpered and tilted my hips into him, silently pleading with him to continue. Smirking with his signature crooked grin, he pulled my head to the side and traced my neck with his tongue, stopping only to place a warm kiss just behind my earlobe. I continued to rock against him, my legs straddling his lap of their own accord. My head rocked in time with my hips as he continued to lick and nip at my neck while his hands cupped my backside, pressing me closer to the hardness between us.

My mind was now totally blank, and I could no longer think, only feel. The way our bodies seemed to match up effortlessly, how his legs seemed to know what mine would do only a second before they moved, accommodating my movements in a way that pulled us impossibly closer together. Somehow he was sliding my body against his in a perfect rhythm that awoke every nerve below my waist. I could feel the pressure begin to build inside myself, and I broke away from Edward's work on my neck only to begin reciprocating on his. His head snapped back as a low growl rose from his chest, and I bit down lightly on his shoulder, loving the sound as much as the knowledge that I was the one making him feel this way.

Breathless, he tipped his head toward me and licked his lips as he began to speak.

"What about…?" He trailed off, barely asking the question before he stopped, his hands stilling on the small of my back.

Willing him with every fiber of my being not to stop, he sighed as he continued.

"We said," he started, and I responded by placing my lips in the hollow where his neck and collarbone met and sucking lightly. "Unh…" was my reward, until he pulled away again. This time, I cut him off before he could rationalize his way out of this.

"My bed," I kissed the pulse point beside his Adam's apple.

"…is much larger," I flicked my tongue out to taste his jaw line.

"…and this is NOT our first date," I ended by nipping at his earlobe.

Yep, that did it.

In one fluid motion, he wrapped his arms around my waist and twisted himself so that his feet were on the rug. With his fingers wrapped tightly around the bottom of my thighs and my arms securely around his neck, he carried me down the short hallway into the master bedroom of the loft. When we reached the bed, he pressed himself against me as I sank into the mattress. The feeling of his weight against the seam of my pants sent little jolts of sensation deep into my stomach.

Edward's hands were once again in my hair as he whispered in my ear, "Please, please don't hate me. I wanted so badly…"

"Shh," I urged him. I didn't want or need his apologies now or ever. I was his, and he was mine, and I only wanted to think of what happened from this moment forward.

"Please," he continued as pulled back and began fingering the hem of my sweater that was now bunched around my waist from the trip to the bed. His eyes searched mine for any hesitancy, but he would find none there. "Slowly, Bella," he whispered, pulling my shirt up slightly and running his fingers across the bare flesh. "Let me make love to you."

I sighed as he drew circles across my ribs and under my breasts, then moved up to grasp the sides of the fabric. I lifted my arms and allowed him to pull the sweater over my head, and blushed as he looked me over in the pale light that filtered through the window.

I knew this was what I wanted. My mind was a blank canvas of a million words, and all I wanted in that moment was to lose myself in him. I knew that once we had crossed this line there would be no turning back; that I would forever be a part of him and him, me. Our eyes met as my blush faded into something much stronger than self-consciousness and he gently pressed his lips to mine.

My hands circled his waist and my thumbs teased the flesh there. Lightly skimming my nails up his sides, I raised his shirt and he obliged my advances by pulling it up and over his crown of bronze locks. Lying side-by-side now, we touched and tasted, exploring each other's bodies with wonder and reverence. His hand stilled at my hip and I tilted toward him, wanting only to feel more of his skin against mine.

We continued on, our clothing coming off piece by piece, kiss by kiss, until we were both laid bare in the moonlight our eyes and hands feasting on each other.

My body seemed built for his touch as it responded to each new sensation – lifting to feel the warmth of his tongue against my nipple in the cool air of the room, parting to feel the full breadth of his shoulders as he sank lower down my torso and settled between my legs.

The first flick of his tongue there sent shock waves through my body, and my hips bucked unintentionally against him, frantically seeking more. As his mouth and fingers played the most delicate sonata on and inside me, my body clenched and released in response. Panting with satisfaction, I called out his name as my body seemed to sink away from my mind, leaving me floating in a dreamlike state. He pulled himself back up on the bed, softly placing kisses on my belly, my breasts, my collarbones, my neck, and finally my lips.

My hand roamed downward, seeking the hardness that had brushed against me as he moved. Wrapping my hand around him, I was suddenly unsure of what to do. Sensing my insecurity, he began to pull his hips away, then pushed toward me, effectively showing me how he wanted to be touched.

"Oh god, Bella," he moaned, inhaling deeply as he grazed my neck with his nose.

My legs parted, aching to feel his weight there once more, and he moved between them, positioning himself just above my entrance. My body tensed, not because it wasn't what I wanted, but because I was suddenly unsure if I was what he wanted. If I would ever be good enough, if I could possibly please someone like him.

"I love you," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you, Bella."

"You won't," I answered.

"It will, though. Please, Bella, if you don't…"

"I do, Edward, I do." The anticipation and fear coursed through me, eclipsed only by the need to give myself to him completely, to solidify in this way how I felt for him.

He pressed forward then, one of arms beside my head, his fingers caressing my hair, while the other was between us, guiding him toward my opening. My hands found purchase on his back, holding tightly and bracing for the pain and the pleasure that was sure to follow. I felt him press into me then, slowly but steadily stretching and filling and consuming me all at the same time. The feeling was strange, but not all bad. It burned more than it hurt, and as he still inside me, and traced my lips with his tongue I relaxed just enough to really _feel_ how full and complete I was in that moment.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered. "I have since before I knew your name, and I will even after I draw my last breath."

"I love you, too," I said, my body lifting up to meet his.

He pulled back and pressed down into me again, and a new fire began to replace the burn inside. I cried out, mostly in pleasure at the sensation of being joined with him this way. It was foreign and frightening and phenomenal, and I knew I'd never get enough.

"Oh, god, Edward," I moaned, my chest rising to meet his as I relished in the sensation of his skin against my nipples. The coiling deep inside me began again, only this time with so much force that I was sure I would die or at least go blind from the sensation. My hips rocked in time with his thrusts, and his hand slipped between our bodies to massage my most sensitive spot.

"Ahh!" I yelped as the contact caused a clenching just below where his fingers were working circles.

"Oh Bella," he murmured into my ear, his breath hot against my skin. "Bella, ah! Please baby," he begged, though I wasn't sure what for. Was I supposed to do something else? I slid one leg up toward his hips, securing my heel near the small of his back and dramatically changing the feeling of him inside me.

"Ungh…" the noises spilled out of me as my head became foggy and my body began to flood with an electrical heat like nothing I'd ever experienced.

"Please, oh Bella, too soon, oh god, so good, so – ungh! Perfect…" he continued to chant until he stilled inside of me, his back rising and falling as he panted for air.

He trailed a finger from my knee up to my hip, grasping the flesh there and rocking steadily before pulling out and away from my body ever so slowly.

"Did you…?" he asked, his eyes both expectant and reluctant. I knew he asking if he had satisfied me, and I nodded as I stretched my neck toward him to kiss his lips. I wasn't sure if I'd actually, well, finished like he had, but was I supposed to? I knew it felt amazing once I got past the initial shock of my body being invaded in such a new and amazing way. I knew that I had never felt so whole and alive than I did in those moments when he was giving and taking pleasure.

"So much for taking our time," he said into my hair as he kissed the top of head.

I snuggled into his chest, not caring that it was damp or that I was still completely exposed to him. He ran his fingers up and down my back in long, languid strokes until I felt like I was about to drift away into the most perfect dream. Pressing my hand against his chest, I could feel his heart rate slowing as we both relaxed and began to process what had just happened.

"Was it, I mean, was I?" I asked, not willing to look at him, but desperate to know that I'd made him feel a fraction of what I'd just experienced.

"Perfect, Bella; it was perfect in every way. I want you to know that I love you, and not because of this or even the thought of this, but because you are an amazing woman."

"I love you, too, Edward," I said.

I looked up to find his eyes on me, deep and full of so many thoughts and secrets that I would die to know. His hand cupped my cheek as he pressed his lips to mine once more, stopping only to murmur the only thing that could possibly mean more to me than his declaration.

"You are my world, Bella. Nothing else matters if I don't have you."

I smiled at him, then nestled back into his chest as he pulled the blanket from my bed up around our bodies.

"I'm yours, and I always will be," I whispered, before letting myself fall away into his arms, into my dreams, and into the beginning of our forever.

* * *

**So?**

**Yes?**

**Reviews are love and guarantee happy times again :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm back! Very serious business at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I own lots of nail polish, a pair of tap shoes, and one of those new hair comb up-do thingies. I don't own Twilight.**

**Please note: Scene breaks are now marked with ooOOoo because FF hates me.  
**

* * *

The sensation of Edward's fingertips lightly tapping on my hipbone roused me from my dreams. Blinking against the darkness of the room, I arched my back against him and stretched. I was surprised to find that I was a bit sore in muscles I was not aware that I had until now, but I smiled in spite of the ache. Remembering how they'd been used caused a flash of electricity to shoot through my body, leaving me giddy and tingling.

"What's that you're playing?" I asked, my voice surprisingly raspy.

"Mmm," he groaned, pulling himself up beside me so that his face was peering up over my shoulder. He placed a small kiss at the base of my neck before responding in a silky voice.

"Just something that came to me while I was watching you sleep. You are so beautiful."

"Well I hope you'll let me hear it someday."

"I'll play anything you want to hear, sweet girl," he said.

He continued to kiss my neck, moving slowly up to my jaw and then to my cheek. I turned to meet his lips with my own, finding it impossible to control the grin on my face and the giggle that escaped me.

"What?" he asked, pulling back from me.

I turned on my side so that I could see him in the dim light that was filtering in through the window.

"Nothing," I said. "I'm just trying to process everything, I guess. What time is it?" I asked, looking over his shoulder at the clock on the night stand.

_3:01_

"Oh my God," I moaned, "it's three in the morning! I have to be at the Academy at eight, ready to teach!"

Edward smirked at me, running his fingers up my back. I wasn't sure how we'd suddenly become a tangle mess of limbs, but we had. I realized that he was wearing his boxers, and I was suddenly very self conscious about the fact that I was nude.

"I could," he started, pressing his lips to my ear, "help you stretch."

"Hmm, that sounds very – helpful," I replied, knotting my fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth to mine.

Our bodies seemed to meld together perfectly. He reached between us just long enough to free himself from his shorts, and I gasped when I felt the heated hardness pressed against my thigh. It didn't take long for every bit of skin to seemingly align of its own volition; then he was pressing into me once more.

_Ohmysweetlord that hurts._

I winced and Edward immediately stilled.

"What's wrong?" he asked, obviously thrown off by my reaction.

I shook my head and forced a smile, not wanting to ruin what was happening.

"Nothing, it's nothing. Please," I whimpered.

"Bella, no; I don't want to hurt you," he pleaded as he pulled his hips away from mine.

"No!" I growled, grabbing his behind and pulling him back toward me. "It's just, different. It'll feel better – it already feels better. Please, just please, don't stop."

With a heavy sigh he pushed back into me slowly, holding his weight on his elbows as he bent forward to trace my lips with his tongue. The truth was, it was already feeling better – and with the pace that he was setting, I had a feeling that I'd be beyond comfortable in no time at all.

His pace was slow but measured; I could have almost counted it if I thought I'd be able to remember what came after two. His lips played the harmony to the melody that our bodies were creating, and I gasped when he slid his slender fingers between our bodies, pressing them into the sensitive spot there.

My nails dug into his shoulders and I cried out, not sure what I was experiencing but feeling as if I were teetering between my body setting fire or exploding. I cried out, an unintelligible babble of moans and breaths, but Edward just continued his steady rocking within me, circling his fingers tightly between us.

"Shh, baby," he whispered. "Just feel it, Bella. Let it go, baby." The flickering in my belly suddenly burst into flame at the sound of his voice and I craned my neck toward him, nipping his bottom lip before pressing my mouth to his neck.

"Ahh!" I yelped as my body began to spasm from the inside. The taste of sweat and caramel and boy assaulted my senses as I rocked my hips upward toward him. I felt his shudder as he drove into me with such force that I bit down on his skin as he grunted in my ear.

We stilled, panting and awestruck, until he pulled back from me and placed a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.

"You, Miss Swan, will be the death of me," he smiled.

"Not if you kill me first," I blushed.

**ooOOoo**

The walk to the Academy seemed longer with the cold wind whipping at my scarf and hat. Of course, it was probably due less to the wind than the fact that I felt every step I took _right between my legs._ I now understood why people both loved and hated sex. While it was happening, it was fantastic, euphoric, and life-changing. After it was over though, it was painful and a little awkward.

Edward hadn't stayed in my bed the night before. He and I both had very full schedules for today, and his began almost as early as mine did. He couldn't very well go to a mentoring session in his clothes from our carnival date, so he'd left around five in the morning to head back to his apartment. In his absence, my double bed seemed larger than I remembered, the space where his body had rumpled the sheets moments before oddly cooler than normal. I lay there, on my embarrassing flannel sheets, wistfully staring at the ceiling as I recalled in minute detail every minute of the night's activities.

I knew immediately that my imagination didn't do it justice.

As I hurried the last couple of blocks toward my new job, I focused on the task at hand. I knew that I would have to be highly professional today. I didn't need to let my mind wander while I was trying to make a good impression. I made my way to the front entrance and took in one more deep breath before taking the elevator to the second floor. I hummed to myself on the way up, trying to distract my thoughts and calm my nerves.

"Miss Swan!" a younger woman, most likely in her late twenties, early thirties, was standing across the hallway from the elevator. She was fiddling with a large tote bag, various pairs of shoes, and a key ring that looked like it belonged more to a janitor than to a delicate dancer.

"Hi," I replied, smiling and rushing to her side to help catch a pointe shoe that was toppling out of the crook of her arm.

"Oh thank you," she said as she selected a key from the ring and turned it in the door. Flinging it open, she rushed into the room and threw her belongings into a chair near the sound system.

"Sorry about that, I'll be right with you. Take your coat off and put it right on top of my junk if you like." she exclaimed as she began fluttering around the room, arranging paper stars across the floor.

"I'm Elizabeth Masen, by the way," she said sweetly. She stopped in front of me and dropped her last paper star before wrapping her arms around me quickly. Stunned, I patted her back just before she pulled away.

"Sorry, I'm just a hugger," she said as she walked briskly toward the window to begin adjusting the blinds.

"Oh, no, that's fine," I blabbered, still unsure of what I was supposed to be doing.

"So Esme says good things about you," she continued. "That's good. It takes a lot to impress Esme Cullen. She's not a softie, but she is an awesome woman – don't you think?"

"Definitely," I nodded.

"Fantastic. So, what do you want to do today?"

"Err.." I mumbled. Was I supposed to have a plan? It was my first day, shouldn't I watch first or something?

"I'm not sure. Can I just see what you do? I mean, I'll do whatever you tell me to, but I'm sure this is going to be a little different from the classes that I taught back at my home studio."

"Of course," she answered, her eyes relaying a deep understanding of my nervousness. "I think you'll be surprised at how much it is like your home studio. We are here to teach the basics. Some kids have what it takes to move forward, some don't. Those whose parents can afford to have them here will stay on until they either fail to win a spot in the company or they finally wear out their welcome. You'll be able to spot them a mile away – the legacies and the trust fund kids – but we have to be patient with them all. The Academy thrives on the checks their parents send in every month."

"Sure," was my brilliant reply. I couldn't help but think that Miss Masen was being a little judgmental of her students.

"So," she continued, "our first class is Partnering One, and then we have Technique II, followed by Character class. That last one is a hoot. Just wait until you see the boys in that class."

I didn't have time to respond. The first two children walked through the door, and Elizabeth went back over to the CD rack to pull the music for class.

"Hi," I greeted them. "I'm Miss Swan."

"Hello," the tallest of the two boys greeted me. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

_Pretty formal for a kid_, I thought.

"Hi, Miss Swan," said the other. His narrow face seemed consumed by his large eyes, so much so that it was almost haunting, like he could see right through me.

"Oh! Aro and Marcus! So happy you're here!" Elizabeth shouted across the room. Her voice was higher and her eyes were bright. It was obvious that I had been wrong about her being judgmental of these children. Her happiness was not in the least bit contrived.

The rest of the students filed in, setting down their little dance bags and putting on their shoes. Light music filled the room as the chatter rose to a roar before Elizabeth took her place at the head of the room and called the class to order.

"Good morning, everyone! We have a new instructor with us today! Please join me in welcoming Miss Swan to our class, won't you?"

Everyone applauded. I scanned the room full of bright eyes and relaxed a bit, immediately seeing the acceptance their faces. Well, all the faces except one. Marcus wasn't looking at me, he was staring at himself in the mirror, his expression blank.

_That kid is going to have long bangs and wear a studded collar someday, _I snarked to myself.

The class went smoothly as I found myself falling back into the swing of teaching. I really did enjoy it, and I hoped that I was making a good impression on both Elizabeth and the students. After our morning classes, Elizabeth and I chatted as we walked to the cafeteria. She had been a company dancer for one season, but an ankle injury had caused her to take a furlough. During that time, she took a few group classes at another local studio, and found that she loved teaching much more than performing. She formally resigned from the company and applied as an instructor. I decided that she was one of those people who were truly lovely from the inside, out.

As the day wore on, I participated more and more in the instruction, taking it upon myself to correct arm positions and assist with spotting turns. The children in all of the afternoon classes were quiet, respectful, and obviously enamored with Elizabeth. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, but in the best way possible.

"You're a natural," Elizabeth mused as we wiped down the barre and the mirrors.

"Thank you," I said. "It's nice to see kids so enthusiastic about dancing."

"Yeah, it really is. So, tomorrow – do you want to handle the warm ups for me?"

"I'd love to," I agreed as I put on my coat. It had been a lovely day, but I was more than ready to go home and take a long bubble bath. I desperately wanted to relax my muscles and indulge my memories from last night.

"Thanks for accepting this position," she said. "If you ever need help with anything; choreography, costuming, anything, just let me know."

"Thanks," I said, as I walked toward the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight!" she called after me, her voice seemingly happier at the end of the day than it was when we started.

**ooOOoo**

The walk back to my apartment was not near as long as it seemed this morning. My mind was busy thinking about all of the kids that I'd met and all of the interesting things we could do with such a large group. Of course, my thoughts also went to last night's activities. I reached in my bag for my phone without thinking, and realized before I pressed the "send" button that I was about to call Alice.

There were two things inherently wrong with this action. For one, Alice and I hadn't spoken since the night I'd left for Forks. She was still upset with me and that fact was beginning to weigh very heavily on my conscience. Secondly, I couldn't very well talk to Alice about sexy times with her brother. That was wrong on so many different levels that I didn't know where to begin.

Instead, I dialed Edward and left a message on his voicemail, asking him if he would stop by after he was finished with his day. I slid my phone into my pocket and pulled the lapels of my jacket closer to my face. The wind was becoming bitterly cold, and I wanted nothing more than to cozy up in front of my television with a blanket and something warm, like soup – or Edward – or both.

Flashes of last night's events invaded my brain, causing my cheeks to burn red with warmth that came deep from within my body. As I rounded the corner toward the loft complex, I decided to pop into the small grocery and grab the few ingredients I would need for a pot of chicken soup. The store was warm and easy to navigate. I quickly found a small bag of carrots and some pasta, surprised at how much they cost here in the city compared to back in Forks. I turned the corner toward the canned goods and stopped dead in my tracks.

There, crinkling her nose in disgust over a can of pickled beets, was Alice Cullen. I quickly ducked behind the display of clearance Halloween candy, my breath catching in my throat. What was she doing here? What was I going to say to her? Why was she looking at pickled beets? Swallowing thickly, I stepped back into the aisle. I told myself that I would grab the chicken stock I needed and make a run for it, but of course I wasn't that lucky.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, dropping her plastic grocery basket and pouncing on me.

I was taken aback by her cheerfulness and physical assault, so much so that I took a step back to try to right myself before falling swiftly onto my butt in the middle of the store.

"Sorry," she said, giggling. "I guess I'm just happy to see you. How are you? How did your date with Edward go? Please tell me it went well, because he didn't come home last night."

"Um, yeah…" I muttered, blushing like mad and blinking at the speed of light. "It was great. We went to the Fall Carnival and then went back to my loft for a bit." I quickly righted myself and reached down to pick up the items that I'd dropped.

"OH MY GOD!" she exclaimed as she started bouncing. "You two DID IT!"

"Wha-what?" I stuttered. "What are you talking about?"

"Bella Swan, you have the most freshly-fucked look on your face right now! Oh my GOD! You did it! You're like, a WOMAN now!"

At the other end of the aisle, an older gentleman cleared his throat loudly, reminding us that we were in public. Of course, that did nothing to deter Alice from commenting loudly about my newly-founded sex life.

"I know it's my brother we're talking about," she said as she threaded her arm through mine and began leading me toward the meat counter; "but was it, you know, okay? Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Alice, really? You're asking me if your brother is a good lay?"

"Eww, yeah, I guess not," she replied, her lip curling up to one side.

"So, you're not mad at me?" I asked.

"Mad? No. Fucking pissed? Yes. You ran out on me, Swan. You left without so much as a good-bye or 'kiss my ass, bitch!' But Mom explained everything to me after she talked to Edward the other night. I guess I can see why you felt like you had to get away. I just wish you would've talked to me. I didn't understand at first why you would leave without even saying goodbye, and I thought that maybe I had done something wrong. Of course, then I remembered that there was no way I could do anything wrong, so I figured when you got ready, you'd call or stop by and I could rip you a new asshole and we'd get on with our lives.

I'm not going to do that, though, because I don't want to cause a scene and there are more important things to worry about. But just so you know, I could've cleared up a lot of your misapprehensions. I mean, the thought of Mom wanting to kick you out of the program? That's ridiculous! If you hadn't gone and played human Frogger with Chicago traffic, you'd probably be in the Company already. That's beside the point though, you whore."

Alice playfully smacked my shoulder as she leaned over the counter to pick up a package of chicken cutlets.

"Here, Edward only likes white meat in his soup," she said as she placed them in my basket.

"How did you-?"

"The great and powerful Alice sees all!" she said, wiggling her fingers in the air for effect. "Tell you what – you two lovebirds enjoy the soup and sex party tonight, but make some time for me this week. I'm out of classes by four every day. We have so much to catch up on!

"Oh! And are you going to Edward's Christmas showcase?" she asked, changing the subject and catching me off guard. Edward hadn't mentioned anything about a Christmas showcase. Of course, it was only the beginning of November, so he probably didn't see the point, especially after what happened at the last performance.

"Stupid question," Alice answered for me. "Of course you're going. We need to talk about it, though. I have this brilliant idea and I think you're going to love me for it. Of course, you already love me, so that won't be much of a stretch."

"Right," I answered, nodding and trying to keep up. It had been so long since I'd talked with Alice that I'd forgotten just how quickly her brain worked and how easily her mouth kept up with it.

"Okay then, you run on home, Susie Home Maker. Stir your soup and all that," she winked, "and call me later this week."

With that, she turned to skip away down the imported foods aisle, leaving me staring behind her, speechless.

"Oh, and Bella? I missed you."

"Me too," I smiled, thankful that I could still call Alice my friend.

**ooOOoo**

The night went better than I could have possibly planned. Edward called just as I walked into the apartment, and said that he was going to stop by his place and grab a few things before coming over. That gave me just enough time to chop of the veggies and chicken and put everything on the stove to simmer while I showered. By the time I was dressed in my favorite pajamas – the white fleecy ones that Alice had purchased for me – Edward was softly knocking at the door.

No matter how many times I saw him, the first few seconds always took my breath away.

"How was your day?" he whispered into my damp hair as he placed a kiss atop my head.

"Wonderful, actually," I smiled up at him. "And yours?"

"Very interesting," he replied as he shed his jacket. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me in close as he inhaled deeply.

"My God woman, you can cook, too?" he asked with a devilish grin.

"Well, it's only soup. Nothing complicated."

We talked comfortable about our day as he reached into the bad he'd brought with him and pulled out a small baguette of bread and butter. Handing him a knife, I watched him slice it into even pieces as he chatted about his music and the student he was mentoring.

"His name is Ben," he said. "He's really very good. His original works are very melodic and sweet, and we're trying to work him into some deeper harmonies, but he's struggling. I guess that's what happens when you're inspired by love," he mused, almost to himself.

"Sounds like the opinion of a man who knows," I teased as I ladled soup into two bowls and sat them down on the island to cool.

We talked endlessly and effortlessly while we ate, each of us silently acknowledging how content we were with our tone and gestures. His hand slipped across the island to hold mine while tasted his dinner, and he squeezed gently as he rolled his eyes in appreciation. I smiled, blushing, and told him about the kids that I was teaching. When we were done eating and talking, we moved to the living room and curled up on the couch together.

"What's this I hear about a performance at Christmas?" I finally asked.

"Oh, you heard? I imagine my sister had something to do with that."

"She did. Have you talked to her?"

"I had no choice. After she saw you at the store, she called me relentlessly until I picked up. I could practically feel her bouncing through the phone. I'm so glad you ran into her. Now that you know she's not upset with you, I hope that it won't be awkward for you to come over one night."

"Sure I will, but why didn't you just tell me? You knew how apprehensive I've been about talking to her, but you let me worry?"

"I didn't think you'd believe me. Be honest, Bella; if you'd heard from me that Alice was dying to see you, chances are you would've suspected that she was playing along with me in order to get back in your good graces."

I smiled. He knew me too well.

"I'm just glad it's settled," I said. "Now, tell me about your Christmas performance."

As Edward began explaining the showcase that would take place in a few short weeks, my mind raced with excitement. Alice told me earlier today that she had a plan, and I had a strong suspicion that I knew what it would entail.

"What are you playing?" I asked innocently.

"Something I've composed myself. It's not the same piece that I performed back in September, but it's new and very special to me. Will you stay through my entire performance this time?"

I blushed – furious at myself for ever giving him a reason to ask that question, but relieved that he was willing to forgive me and ask it all the same.

"Of course," I replied, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

**A/N: Please forgive me for the awful delay. I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but it would become a monster if I just let it ramble on. Aren't we all happy that Alice is back? I missed her foul mouth. **

**Pas de Deux will have approximately 2 more chapters and an epi, all of which will be posted before the end of August. The time has come for me to let go, and I hope to do so with some dignity before I drag it out beyond repair. **

**To all of you who have stuck by me through every slow update and every kink that these characters have thrown my way – thank you. **


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